most people see me as
a happy person because
i laugh easily,
i smile a lot,
i joke a lot.

but deep down
in my heart,
i am fragile,
i can get hurt easily,
but i choose to not
show it to the world.

instead of being sad,
i choose to laugh to cover it.
maybe you can call me
"the queen of the mask"

by this,
you can tell
that most of the time
when I'm laughing,
I'm not really laughing,
i was trying so hard to hide
my sadness.

We were easy soulmates
Content with comfortable silence
Two parts of a whole
Always on the same wavelength

Now we’re on different planets
Speaking different languages
And it’s hard to say for sure but
I think I lost a piece of myself when I lost you

Sigh.

I started the day off.
It gets mundane to be going through the same type of conversations everyday.

I've never been questioned about my social life before. Why is it hard to believe that someone loves the silence, the emptiness, the loneliness?

It's not an excuse I make to cover up for accused lack of social skills. I have good social skills. I talk. I listen. I entertain. But it doesn't mean I enjoy socialising. It's just
like a theatre act. Put on a mask, act out someone you're not, and get applauded. You do not carry this mask or the audience back home.

I've heard of a saying, 'silence is an answer'


But to me, sigh-lent is an emotion.

It's always you against the world but it's
Okay to remain silent
To sail through your endless thoughts
Be in your world,
Alone wandering like a traveller of the night

It's okay to be alone.

you sit in a cafe
you wait for the coffee you had ordered 30 minutes ago
you then notice a group of men in expensive suit walk in
your eyes follows their every move
they find for the large table to sit
they take out papers from their suitcases
suddenly one man stands up and shouts at the owner
'give me my rent or i'll blow this place up'
the owner runs to the back of the cafe
you hear sobs
you hear screaming
you hear rummaging of glasses
suddenly you hear nothing
it all stopped
the man went to check at the back
he stomped out angrily

'she's dead', he said.

'next cafe then', they said.

You scare me, of how you have become a part of my life
You scare me, of how much I must depend on you
You scare me, of how you can hurt me
You scare me, of how much you can love me
You scare me, of how much I love you