I’m still in love with who I thought you were

The memory of that belief
is what’s causing the grief

I’m still in love with the you
I thought I knew
I despise the real you

I thought I’d found something rare
But you were just a player with flair

I will be okay
there will be a day
that false memory fades away

I've come to the realization that
Loss is all around.
It's the down the street.
In another city.
In another state.
Or in a different country.
Or across the oceans
To a place so unfamiliar.

But not too unfamiliar,
Not unlike death.
The mysterious endings
To a person's
Being,
Seeing,
Feeling,
Dreaming.

The point at which
You stop breathing;
The final cries you hear
From your closest
Friends and family.
A permanent state of trance,
Never to take another glance.
You were one in 7.2 billion,
But now it's time for you
To float away like helium.

For fifteen years
I've always exchanged the same words
"Goodnight, have a good sleep. I love you"

Tonight was the first night
That broke the fifteen year streak
Of you never going to sleep angry at me

I'm sorry mother
I really am
I'm sorry for you too

I'm sorry your hands are turning old
With random speckles,
And portruding veins

I'm sorry there's wrinkles on your face
And your greys reappear after two weeks
And you're having several pains

I'm sorry you didn't have a childhood
And you don't know how to smile
Not even for a picture

I'm sorry Ma
I'm sorry I'm having a hard time
I'm sorry I rub it off on you

I'm sorry for my laziness
I'm sorry you even had to have me
I'm sorry for my drama

I wish I could give you all you deserve
Cause Ma
I would give you all heaven if I could.

You close all your doors on me
And leave windows slightly opened
So I try to see what's inside
But you turned off all the lights

I gather up all the courage
As I take the steps to your front door
I knock and ask, "Is anybody in?"
And you say, "Don't bother anymore."

a.g

She walks into school
      and it starts again
           the shaking,
               it rips through her like a wave
She hears the sound of the voices
      in the hallway
         yet she cant make out what they're saying
She thinks all eyes are on her,
     everything is just one big blur
She hears laughter and
     she automatically thinks its
        directed at her
She waits in the bathroom
     like she does every morning
        for the halls to be clear
She walks out
     and wipes away her tears

It was a dark night, rain slashing through it,
Trying to cut the windowpane,
When your demons escaped from the cage.
They tied you up and burned you on a stake.
The fire licked you up and devoured you,
They thought they have destroyed you at last.
But your soul is a phoenix,
and it sprung back up from the ash.

I thought
I had you

for always;
I was mistaken.

Some God,
or not,

as the case
may be,

has for some reason,
unknown to me,

has you
from me,

hurtfully
taken.