My mind tells me I'm fine,                            
my memory gets worse with time.

My body tells me I'm fine                           
my health gets worse with time.

My soul is tired but I'm young                     
I guess I'm fine.

I will one day die,                                            
only to realize I was never fine.

I was never okay,                                            
It was all a lie.

I am a grenade in his arms
burning, fire destructive
still He holds me

I am a lost stream of strange desires
of sin and sorrow and addiction
still, He is with me

I am a beast that no-one wants to love
a home built in caves of shadows and darkness
still He sees me

His love is an avalanche,
His forgiveness meant death,
His power is God.

Who is like you Jesus?

I already feel sick, thinking of seeing you,
spending the night with you
and not even being able to really be with you
3 months still to go.
but I really want to go, and I can't let you hold me back
you're always holding me back,
from trusting, from loving from falling
3 months still to go.
what will I feel, what will I say, will I be able to read you
like you've always been able to read me.
I want to touch you, my body craves you
but I know you're not mine for the taking.
3 months still to go
they ask me if I can do this, I smile and say yes
yet I've never been more unsure in my life.
you were my person, you were my happiness
and you left me so empty, how could I ever move on...
3 months still to go...

To You,
I'd pinned all my hopes on you
now I'm feeling sad and blue
together we had so many dreams
and were so in love, or so it seemed.
I know I should get over you,
but I'm not sure I really want to
you had been the perfect guy,
can't believe I bought all those lies.
                   *wait,
but now I can do what I want to
without worrying what you would do
now if only you could see
just happy I could be
without all the rules you had
worrying I would make you mad
there's part of me that wants you back,
but I realize it's too late for that
you've moved on and I should too,
it's something that we all must do.
our lives have change I'll be okay
the twenty-eighth will be just another day
I really loved you with all my heart
but now I'm ready or a fresh start
goodbye to you
I'm starting new,
but just so you know I really did love you.
**-From Me.

watching my world come crashing down
causing turmoil all around
the world is never as it seems
feeling the pain fade as it bleeds
like a dagger to my heart
wishing there had never been a start
to these feelings that i feel
this pain these thought i believed were real
this is what i keep inside
looking away trying to bide
time to hide all my tears
wiping away all my fears
that are right there in my eyes
but you're too busy with goodbyes
not noticing how i want to die
and with my last breath i whisper goodbye
my love you will never know
how i felt when we stood toe to toe
whispering secrets and murmuring teases
seductive yet secretive it always pleases
you helped me to feel alive
and now i feel like i have died.

I’m sick of being single
sick of being alone.
I’m sick of being angry,
sick of being tired.
I’m sick of being sad,
and feeling so depressed
I’m getting quite sickof it
and asking you for help.
I’m feeling like I’m drowning,
will you pull me out?