I've fallen
fallen off from the perfect image framed of me
for me to embody a perfect daughter
daughter that's no longer me

I was one of the nicest
I was one of the best
Fell off my high chair, can I just lay here and rest?
It feels as if I have to live up
to the things I no longer want
to the expectations not of my own
but of the people that dares to throw me off my throne

The fire and desire to break away grows in me
Yet I'm stuck inside a cell where they claim I'm free
As I stand still in the same root like an old tree
I envy the leaves of life falling when it felt right to flee

I'm no angel, nor do my demons define me
But in this earth,
to look after thyself is seen as a deed of evil
Self-worth constantly shattered
and we ask why people lack the effort?
the effort to be and stay true to ourselves are enough of a riddle
I'm not the same as I used to be, I'm no longer the little me.

Is it better to remain friends after a taste of being lovers?
Can it continue?
Pause now until we’re ready.
Pause now til’ I see you.
Will you take the bite when we’re given the chance?
Or find another in the meanwhile.
I’m stuck on you but I don’t mean to.
I don’t expect you to feel the way I do.
I don’t hold you as a possession.
I respect all your decisions.
If this is the best way for now
Til’ I see you, i don’t know how
to express the way i feel about you
but all of it is true.
How did i fall so easily...
in love with you.

Love may be the toughest withdrawal
It fertilizes a garden and blooms the wildest—beautiful flowers.
It’s flourishes with enough love given to it,
as it decays in a catastrophic drought.
Nature needs care and its necessities to grow.
We grew a garden raising it up from the seed.
Withdrawals hit when the desire to revive the flowers and the browning of plant is no longer achievable.
No fertilizer.
No water.
Dry Soil.
The wanting to of seeing the flowers bloom again. The wanting of how the garden once looked.
The images of what the garden would have looked like. That is the toughest.

She brightens up the darkest streets with her radiating glow.
She carries an appearance that’s hard to miss.
She‘s there whether people pay attention to her or not.
Her appearance may change but she is still the same.
In times she’s whole, she’s magnificent !
Yet we still don’t know what she hides on the other side.
In times she isn’t fully herself, her worth does not lessen.
She’s just as beautiful in two different ways whether she sees that herself or not.
Everyone else will only the parts of her she reveals.
Not everyone acknowledges her presence.
But there are some, who stops to do so.

She can make you
smile like nostalgic times do
With her own little clever lines
it spoke to me and that was when I knew
She can instantly charm her way
far as she reached into,
the walls i built for others, but for her
it was nor lowered nor off limits
For her it was a simple qualification
As she showed such qualities
that i adore in a person
We knew that after every conversations
little by little we bonded
She’s who you’d want to spend all your days with
As she entered and carried an energy
that leveled up to mine
She smiles with love
where have you been all this time?

Just a few weeks back, i let my heart take the wheel
Told my brain to stop thinking and i let my emotions spill
We didn’t put any label to it, but i’m here right “now” and what i feel is real
I am not guaranteed anything in this world
but with you in it, I was a miner who found gold
since the day you told me you liked me, I must be that lucky

Little did you know that days before that i often dreamt of you and thought of you
then i feared the future, no doubt
but i also looked forward to when i'll be in your arms
Hand in hand as we walk up the same route
To see you and learn what you’re all about
then we can hang out and laugh at everything we’ve talked about.
Just like how my dreams with you always play out.

I like you a lot and that scared me.
but you’re in luck because i love scary,
movies we watch are also in the same category
maybe you and i are real similar,
and that’s all that matters in my end of the story.

Why do we default to living inside our heads?
We think of the future
and when we reach the end,
do we look back at our life and see that we planned everything ahead?

We tend to base our futures with the knowledge learned from the past
But wouldn’t that just lead us nowhere new,
but right on the same path?

As kids we’re programmed to think that our present; now makes our future.
What we’re not told is how our past disrupts and unfold,
itself right in front of us.
As a reminder to fear what’s near our grasp.

So live in this moment, breathe it all in
Our past may shape us but everyday we choose a mask that has the power to molds us.