She fell hard for the man in the dark
Wondered if he would come visit her soon someday
She cried for a while, as she lied awake
With her heart full of scars
Wishing he would come take her away

Then a wild idea formed in her head
If he weren’t coming, then she would go to him
With a blade in her hand she had the perfect plan
She set the mood with hero in her soul and sang this little hymn

Oh come now the man of my dreams
The one I see when I sleep
Hold me close and we’ll run away
Setting my old life ablaze

Oh come now speak softly to me
My heart is heavy and my soul is weary
This life has gotten my best
And it has given me its worst

Oh Come now and hold me still
In your arms I’ll take my rest
I swear I’ll never have my fill
With you there is no contest

The room blurred and the blood ran red
As she fell to the floor
She saw the shadow man come to the door
As she took her last breathe

He entranced my mind
So clever was his wit
I would gladly bind
Myself ever to it
Unfortunately his mouth
Was full of
Jealousy
It took just a short while
To see he wasn't for me
Yet, still I think about him
The boy who ignited my brain
Oh, the chance I didn't take
Saved me a lot of pain

It follows through iridescent dreams.

It stares and it lingers.

It watches with saddened but dead eyes.

Sometimes you'll see it, most times you won't.

But either way, it is always there. Even when you awake from the nightmare, it remains.

Can you remember holding it?

Do you remember smiling as it giggled in your arms?

Do you think of it staring back at you as you lightly feel its soft skin?

No. Because you never did.

You never watched it take its first steps.

Heard it cry in the middle of the night.

Clean up after the mess that it had caused.

Or hear it call for you.

And now you never will.

Do you regret that day? That choice that you made?

Do you wonder to yourself what might have been?

If only that child was here today and you could tell it that you would love it and protect it.

Would you?

I write this with an open heart,
Even though I have no where to start.
My pain & heartbreak know no bounds,
A body so weary & a head that pounds.

I’m drowning my sorrows every single night,
Barely managing to function by saying “I’m alright”.
I was the one that ended our affair,
You told me you loved me yet don’t seem to care.

I’m lost & I’m broken without you here,
Yet every day with you I lived in fear.
I hoped by day 57 I’d be feeling better,
Instead of crying in bed drafting a suicide letter.

“Lee, I love you; I hate you” in the same breath,
I feel like an addict and you are my ****.
I don’t actually know how to move on,
How do I get over this entire love con?

The start of the healing process is in closure, don’t you find?
Not getting that is messing with my mind.
The overthinking & obsessing each and every day,
I need to know what you really felt in each & every way.

I wish I had an “off” button,
Or at the turn of a key,
Something as simple as flicking a switch,
And immediately forget you Lee.

you burned,
like alcohol,
on freshly bitten nails.

more painful,
then the cold,
nipping at my ankles,

I loved,
like today,
wouldn't turn into tomorrow,

So you hurt,
like the sun,
and you left a mark.

i fell in love with your
eyes, but then your eyes became
pits of darkness inside life's plum and it
wasn't quite okay with me but i dealt with it because they were
yours.

i fell in love with your
heart, but then your heart became
a ball of wires of darkness inside your chest and it
wasn't quite okay with your mother and least of all me but i dealt with it because it was
yours.

i fell in love with your
hair, but then your hair became
packing straw inside of a barrel made of mahogany and it
wasn't quite okay with your deadbeat dad and least of all me but i dealt with it because it was
yours.

i fell in love with your
lips, but then your lips became
cold and too much like your great great great grandmother's and it
wasn't quite okay with your brother and least of all me but i dealt with them because they were
yours.

i fell in love with your
words, but then your words weren't
heard and it wasn't quite okay with anyone
least of all me but i dealt with it because they were
yours.

i fell in love with
you.
but then you weren't you and it wasn't quite okay with
me.
it was okay with me least of all.
but i deal with it.

i deal with what you were.

"Keep On"

Keep on  keep  never stop  breathin
free  no place to flop
Keep breathin   walk walk  step
keep breathin   don't forget

Felt the heartache  keep on breathin
hurts so much  life whats caused it
Breathin breathin   never stop
your not here   if you don't fit

Oh baby   ah oh baby   oh baby
do wah do wah do wah do wah do wah

Under water for five days  breathin
a wonder  i'm amazed   just breathin
Oh Oh baby  breathin   still breathin
till the end of days

       do wah   do wah  do wah