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Myrrdin Aug 2018
I weigh 1/4 of a blue whales heart
I am as tall as Napolean Bonaparte
I am as old as Oprah's Book Club
When I do not like myself
I think of these things
And suddenly, I look very different.
Myrrdin Aug 2018
I wonder what I look like
In your memories
If the memories changed
With your feelings
Myrrdin Aug 2018
We looked into the darkness
You said it was bright
I trusted you
And thought myself blind
We stood out in the cold
You complained of the heat
I trusted you
And I removed my jacket
We were submerged in water
You said it was land
I trusted you
And I stopped swimming
Trust is not truth.
Myrrdin Aug 2018
I am not this kind of girl
I say to myself, to you, to them
I don't do these kinds of things
To myself, to you, to them
I swear, I swear
I am not this kind of girl.
Myrrdin Aug 2018
Fears don't need to be decisions
Sadness doesn't need to be a fact
Anger shouldn't be an action
Shame doesn't have to be a self image
These are just feelings
They are not definitions
Of your being
Myrrdin Aug 2018
I am smiling
With a bucket full of raspberries
Feet soaked in mud
Freckled skin exposed
Hair tangled by the wind
Identity irrelevant
Forgotten
Today I am just a child
Exploring this Earth
While it still feels small enough
To fit in my bucket
Full of raspberries
Myrrdin Aug 2018
This wasn't the first time
But it will be the last time
I create an identifiable pain
To numb the persisting wounds,
That I let my hollow stomach
Swallow all of my sorrows,
That I go to bed hungry
Struggle to wake up again,
Just to Pace around my kitchen
Afraid to open the refrigerator,
I promise this is the last time,
It's always the last time,
Please let this be the last time..
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