I'm so tired
Of chasing you
All the empty people
Can go to hell.

Forget the love
I poured into your wounds.
It won't heal you
Anymore.
Forget the times
I consoled you,
The care that languished
In my words,
Gently lingering.

I'm so tired
Of chasing you
All the empty people
Can go to hell.

We like to pretend life was better
But the past was just as cruel.
People were not kinder,
The world — no more innocent,
We just had more light in our hearts.

It's okay to walk away
The others didn't stay,
I wouldn't love you any less.
I wish it were my heart
That tore us apart,
The trouble is my head.
A sorrow lives inside
That cannot be denied,
Poisonous to all who stay.
The prize ain't worth the fight
Doesn't mean it's right,
To leave me in the dark.
It's okay to walk away
I know that you can't stay,
I won't love you any less.

That person you saw,
The one you greeted,
You looked into his eyes
Hoping to see
everything you knew.
He was not there.
Only a vague notion
Parroting the requisite words,
Without conviction.
This automaton that stomps
the tar to get from A to B,
Isn't really going anywhere.
The conversations we had
Never took place,
Just phantom dialogues.
Recall them, if you can.
I've been gone for so long.
Unable to return.

I have no fear of death.
            no heart to break.
            nothing to spoil.
            no love to fake.
There are no repercussions.
      I have nothing to lose.
              
                                   I should be free.

The world collapses Inward
upon itself.
I don't want to live like this
anymore Goodbye to all
the doubters.
Farewell Hell, I'll see you soon
Anew
The Underworld burns
brighter In reality.
Flames licking with clarity.
Your endless torment —
A bore.
I died this way a thousand times
Night and Day.

We talked about
The things
I couldn't put you through.
The end of my pain,
Your genesis.
My life unknown
Unused,
Swallowed whole.
Slowly, each day —
Hell upon Hell.
Falling stars
Crashing to ground,
Cataclysm.
Friends. Lovers.
I never meant to waste away.

SPEAK or you'll be forgotten.
Creation without thought
without merit.
express without care
kisses void on
yesterday's love
(without question).
your ugly youth,
Clutching at straws
Stained by inexperience
desperate to be
misunderstood
there's nothing raw
within you.
Just play the game
Mouthing words
you couldn't understand.

and in that moment
Your true nature
was revealed.
The looks that didn't matter
Now obvious,
Unforgiving.

Let me show you —
Just how ugly I can be.

My idiot words cannot express
The dying that I feel inside
Instead they
Idly show distress
So foolishly, I hide.
Each day sadly lingers on
Repeating endless
Misery.
Another timeless
Wave of dread,
Upon this blackened sea.
Unlike the rest
Who pray and toil
To forever leave their mark,
I want to vanish
Without trace
Buried in the dark.

I couldn't find
a mark that's true
falling       so far away from you.
words are
ashes in my mouth
though will not let me choke
each glassy eye
that roves on me
Can only see a joke.
I'm gone, so gone
yet permanent. A creature
in a snare.
Engage my tongue, my heart, my skin
Yet you won't find me there.
Give up these earthly
monuments
give up the love that
waned.
each trace of me
A poison.
A human,
Tho abstained.

I fear not death —
Not mine.
It is a welcome
Circumstance
I can meet with
an unfamiliar smile.
As long as there is nothingness
To greet me on the other side.
But yours
I could not bear.

Let me go first.

It's okay you
didn't hurt me I've
been dead inside
so long my chest is
just a cavity My
feelings deadened
My love retired.

Pull the shutter on my eyes
I don't care to see
The light anymore.
It is a lie
A hateful fallacy
for the eager
to heartily swallow.
Not fit for the sunken —
Godless in their
Corridors of sleep.
Extinguish this flame,
Let my heart rest.
In the wretched kindness
Of goodbye.

She was my sun
I was lucky to cast
shadows
Against her brilliance
Her warm fingertips,
rays of light
Upon my skin.
Bathing me with glory
Resplendent
Morning light.
A universe of harmony
Sown over my
chaos black soul.
Each word now fading
As the light.
Back to a sunless
Existence —
Ugly reality in my veins.
Colder for having known
Her.
An unlikely conjunction
Unforgotten.
I search the sky
Each day
Knowing she won't return.

You sent a message
So unfamiliar
With contact,
I froze.
a rabbit in headlights.
So many friends
Have come & gone
Pushed away,
True colours — blushing
As I lay in my misery
Not worth your time.
Poor fortune
Conjures truth
Without remorse.
So my answer was "no"
"I can't"
I'm not human
Anymore.

I miss the rush
ov blood
    each orgiastic slip
Leading to
Hot Skin
Pressed. Burning against me.
enwrapped.
I want it so
This suffocation
Will drag you under
With delight
A filthy ache
Blissful
Annihilation
Between her thighs
With sweetness
Claw and tooth
wild desire
Her eyes on mine
(piercing my heart).
Urging me
With stinging
tongue
      and gasoline.     upon the flames.

Everything you ever saw
Everything you worked for
Everything you ever knew
Every love you found
Every friend you made
Everything that you hold dear
Everything you needed
Will one day
All be gone.

Upon opening my eyes
I saw that there was nothing left.
No tenuous threads of plans
Nothing familiar
Just a distance
Leaving me wholly untouched,
As the world writhes
United with love and expectation.
My only possession
A counterfeit
Joy.
Absent participation.
Loveless but loving.
Burning underground
Bound by sleep.
An existence
exchanged for hours.
This day,
Like every other
Ending without
consequence
Every breath, a defeat
With nothing to show.
Your embrace —
My fondest memory.
I died a thousand deaths
To let you go.

You left this world
So long ago
The last time I saw you
Burned into me
Like a brand on
skin
Your words
Faint
Thru cruel age.
What was it you said?
I couldn't
make it out
Your frustration showing.

That feeling
Lost words
Haunting me
As tears burn
After all these
years.

Don't open your eyes
Today.
Don't stir from thoughtless
Slumber.
Each word you say is wrong.
Each choice that's made  — a blunder.
Don't try to give your all today
For it won't be enough.
Don't fight against this devil dog
It's bark is not a bluff.
Just go and hang your weary head
Perhaps go back to bed.
You might not win each battle,
So win the war instead.

Love.     you are a stranger
Knocking
on my door.
Gnashing teeth
"Let me in."
You were a
Golden savage,
Glistening with
sweat and promises,
Hot and sticky
A siren on the rocks.
"Let me in."
No,
That fire is
Extinguished
I don't know you
Anymore.

It takes more strength
to live Than it does to
die. It takes more heart
to smile Than it does to
cry. The easy road is
crooked The fruitful
path is long. It's cold
out in the world when
you don't belong. The
cruel word hits harder
The kinder word is
weak. Shut your mouth
and listen You don't
have to speak. Forget me
now it's easy Love is letting
go. Goodbye dear, don't
worry I'll never let it show.

Never make
those promises
Never say "forever"
You won't die
Or fall apart
Just because you're
not together.
When your lover
Breaks your heart,
Know that
you'll survive
Even if without them
It's less fun
to be alive.
Pain might linger
Hurt may show
Time could start
to slow.
Love is temporary
Seasons come
and go.

This death I wish
upon myself
Will wait another
Day
Unless the world
has other
plans
To take my soul
Away.

The narrative slows
Blank pages —
Once filled
with life.
This tremulous heart,
Fading
Diminished with tears,
Washed with abandonment.
Humanity
Becoming nothing.

Love died
When I lost you.
The infinite joy
I found
Breathed its last.
Beauty,
In exile
Sadly retired.
Since you left,
Each day is black
All passion gone
No turning back.

On the surface
In plain sight
Our imperfections
show.
In reality
Our true defects
Are buried
deep below.

You were my
everything.
You were my
Moon & Stars.
But now the
night is gone,
Leaving only
Scars.

I lost you
a year ago
The love that eased
My suffering
Is now
a mark
a noose
a sting
A sign that
love was here
Despite the ugliness inside,
You kept me whole
Through Hell,
Until you couldn't.
Your heart so generous
I miss its tender light.
I miss your
midnight breath,
Dying. Dying.
Helplessly.
God,
end these nights of pain.

Is there love left?
After that emotional
car wreck.
Jaws of life
taking my heart.
Now
I feel slight affection
A lust. Primal,
disconnected.
More like a hunger,
Vampiric.
Feed me.
**** me.
But the gentle thunder
of love
Majestic.
You took that
from me.

Upon waking
I fall into useless
pieces. Waiting
for the lies to
disprove themselves.
You didn't leave.
There is no chasm
between us,
No need to cry
tired tears.
Resume that
fragile
future.
Wake up.
Love me again.

The promise
of emptiness
Is no reward for
the miles you
Walked
on daggers.

I'm sorry if the heart
beating
beating
just for you
Is now something
You wish
Would stop.
This frantic call
Keeps me
awake,
Cursing its
cardiac
Confession.
If only it knew
you don't love me anymore.

I hate this world
of noise
and greed
That grows
much smaller with
each day.
Terror
Is the dawn
Of light,
Solitude serves
To shape the clay.
I fight
Though there is
Nothing left,
Struggle yields to
Slow decay.
Remember me
As darkness blooms
Know
My heart has
gone away.

A heart
Will die a thousand times.
Love
Won't work out right.
Sadness is a
Circle ****.
Hope won't burn
So bright.
Wars are fought
Without consent
A world so wrapped
In sin.
If every day is ending
How can I begin?

Your words
that hold
No meaning
Will
Choke you
In the end.

Your society
Created a
Vanity, so ugly it
Poisoned
punctured and
Primed
A youth.
Self-obsession
Attention starved
Cruel and mindless
inhumans.
Smartphones breeding
this dumb
Generation.
Martyrs,
On digital
crosses.
Look at me.
Define me.
Press "like".

Sleep/
This is my
Compromise.
Between/
Life & Death.
gentle slumber/
Capture
This breath/
Oh Merciful
Reaper.

I'm not grateful
For all these days
(of pain).
I'm not grateful
For this life.
I don't want to see
A miracle.
I want to burn it
To the ground.
The love you gave,
I didn't ever want.
The love you gave,
I didn't need.
I just want
to give it all away.
Say goodbye.
Watch me bleed.

I'm trying to
remember
You.
You're trying to forget.
I'm fighting for
Your memory.
You're
purging mine.
Even if I win,
I lose.

This pain, so absolute,
These moments Slowl
y dulled. Losing you h
urt so entirely, I could
n't find my way back.
Each day is final, Cho
king away this failing
strength. It was never
your fault.

I relate
to this black screen.
So defiant
In its emptiness.
Perfect in
Secret dimension,
Obelisk
Death.

Those deleted words that
didn't fit.
Ugly lines became
Ugly li_es.
Unfaithful
Misrepresentations
No better than
Knee **** I love you's
Said to prevent harm.
These lines
Should speak my name —
Painful, raw
Like cuts on skin.

I miss the touch
of lust The intimacy
of lips on skin
Desperate ecstatic
fumblings Giving way
to honest
desperation
Hotly whispered
requests
Secret yearnings
No need for shame
No need for love
Just tell me what
you like.

I am worthless
Leave me be
Festering,
With ****** shame
No radiance
Only a light that burns
The White Heat
Slowly,
Choking me.
Welcome
To this world of hurt
SPIT YOUR ASHES IN THE DIRT.

Because I miss you every day
Because the sky is falling
Because sirens call my name
Though the flesh
will melt
And silence wept
Because I'm lost and ragged
Because my words
are
slowly shedding
I misplaced love that
found me
Because,
My only reason.

All the love that I disgraced
All the time I chose to waste
All the pain that I denied,
Just left me dead inside.
All the happiness I feigned
All the damage I sustained
All the hope that I supplied,
Just left me dead inside.
All the lies I told myself
All the conflict that I felt
All the bitter tears I cried,
Only left me dead inside.