Sick with second guessing
The bitterness is back

Beyond any classification
I'm exhausted of it all

Long past petty five steps
I've sat outside long enough in the cold
To know it doesn't get any warmer

Nostalgia's rough grasp
Clasped about my neck
I feel more and more
With every forced breath

And the more I feel the less I know
It all leads to the inexplicable
The redundant and
The impossible to reconcile

Loneliness infatuated
With this idea of the unknown
Through some lust manifests
Into a dire fear of being alone

And that fear carries forward
Incessant debasement

And all the best advice I've ever heard
Is now drowned out by the rainfall

Dripping drops of memories
Seep into wounds still being licked
With a wincing at the past
While bracing myself for the crash

There was somewhere lifetimes ago
When a warmth was prevalent enough

But all that feels like fantasy now

Some sick obsession with comfort

The idea of
Being yearned for

Thought of

Touched, kissed
Dreamed

Breathed

All things senseless yet
Fulfilling for the senses
Creating some
Sense of belonging

It's all slipping, sliding
Moving out of view

Writhing and shaking
My body shivers
Off any remaining
Icicles of doubt

I know the bitterness is back

I know the rain will keep falling harder

And right now, try and try as I might,
I just can't get this **** cigarette to light

Blanketed in darkness,
Mesmerized by natures nightlights
Finding solace in the shadows of the moon.
     Embracing her beauty,
     Comforted by her tranquility
     Envious of her courage

I feel the tug of the connection,
     P u l l i n g... P u l l i n g...
Silently grasping
Constantly at war
               with the rise of the sun.
               with the conflicting thoughts of flight

Lost in the moon's beauty,
Thoughts and feels engulf me
          Seeking answers
          Seeing peace
Whispers of worries quietly spoken
Solitude reveals truths

Do you look up at the same sky
                  and see the same moon?
She shines brightly to remind you,
      where the light can be,
Guidance, serenity, silent comfort.
Promoting freedom and peace
          Reborn each night.

Lover of the moon,
     Mysterious and bright,
            Holder of secrets and wishes
                   Under its light,
                            we love,
                            we dance,
                            we forget,
                            we remember,
                            we meet.

Winter anticipated the night and the stars
And I walk immensely immersed in them.
If warm lighting reminds me that I exist,
The sporadic lights on the cars think I still persist.

After all, only the stars trigger the act of dreaming,
In this journey traversed by nostalgia
Of all the contemplated heavens I've ever dared to wish.
The cold road is the only way.

The life, which I thought I knew, was made in fleeting hours,
Somehow I need to go where I really belong,
That place of latent presences so often felt,
Behind my mind.

Home is not about a place, it is a feeling,
That suppresses the urge to wander indefinitely.
Although knowing that reality it´s falling apart
I'll go home.

4 in morning
Street lights blinding
The sound of wind crying
The rain hits my face
Reminding me that life is calling
My minds stalling
Clinging to sleep
But my eyes won't follow
Day by day
This numbness settles
That my dreams may be nothing
At expense to this dense
Hollow plane
That we call reality
But feels like pain
What is there to gain
Through loss of perception
Of this seeming blessing
Every day is a lesson
To buck up
And not **** up
Tormenting my soul
My body's adjusting to the cold
Far reaching
To this land
Of far away desires
To my ultimate admires
Maybe there I'll be
An elegant flower
In spite of the weather
Finally having my **** together

Thousands of beads of rain fall
Never sinking into the right grounds
As hordes of seeds of thoughts die
Never really losing you
Never really keeping you

Impulses received as afterthoughts
I'm the person you deserve
When the door closes behind you

Were the crafted seconds to be
It would take but one for you to see
These hardened layers through
It takes just one to believe

Time passes
Seconds turn to years
The silence is beautiful
blanketing all
Like snow choking out all that's living
But glistening like gems in the light
This soul nestled inside the same bones

Yours..