lord
if you exist
take me now;
take me to the heavens where tears are forbidden
where the scars on my arms turn heavenly pure
where I cannot hurt.
lord
if you exist
cleanse me of my pain;
teach me to be kind to others and myself
teach me to not fall again at the hands of evil or kiss the lips of destruction
do not let me burn the spoon.
lord
if you exist
allow me to lay with the angels;
allow me to float softly through my nightmares, to wipe my own tears
to hold him tight when I cannot reach him at all
lord, please bring him to me.
please bring back my soul
so that I may understand what there is to understand
to love my family and friends unconditionally
to turn the other cheek when he betrays me.  
to fall in love with another and myself.
teach me to waltz underneath the moonlight when I am feeling forgotten so that I may know
that I am not alone.
father, please,
let me touch the pink marmalade skies
once and for all.

-prayers

conceptcollection

Sometimes it's flames
Sometimes is dying
Death's lullaby
Clipping your throat

Wouldn't it be great
To suffer them all
Or be a madman
And forget it

Crackling voices
Blurry visions
A clouded mind
It's showing what we are all inside

Just shut your eyes
The hardest part
Is letting go
Of your dreams

Stars line your crescent eyes
Speaking of light
Whispering of dark
What's the worst thing I can say?

Can you carry on?
We all have Black Melting Hearts
Reflecting our souls
Will it be better if I stay?

We are so far away
To take our last single breath
We can still hate
So long, and good night

Though the moon still rises
And the sun still sets
My limbs are still broken
The cuts are still fresh
They say time heals all wounds
But these ones just fester
Wrapped in bandage memories
Of the time we spent together

I can see myself
destroying
my own dignity,
popping it like
bubble-wrap
and watching as it
deflates
under my
forcible
fingertips.

Monday.

First day of the week.

He was absent. Was he sick?

I took a glance at the empty chair.

How I wish he was sitting there.

I hope tomorrow I’ll get the chance to see him.

Cause a day is not a day without him.



Tuesday.

I came at school early,

Wanting to see him badly.

There was a sad smile coated on my face,

When I didn't see him at his usual place.

His chair was still empty.

What happened to him?

I have no idea.

I have no clue.

All I knew, I was feeling blue.

I tried to brush my thoughts away,

And just listened at the class all day.

I thought I’m okay,

That I was feeling fine.

But when I saw his chair empty,

I knew my smile was not happy.



Wednesday.

Crestfallen and disappointed.

He was still not here.

I could feel the emptiness in my mind.

Just like the empty chair in my behind.

I asked my classmates,

They just shrugged their shoulders.

I asked his friends, they don’t know why.

Soon my dark eyes began to cry.



Thursday.

Too many question popped in my head.

Frustrated and confused,

I committed a major offense.

I fled from school during recess.

I want to see him today,

To know the reason of that young man,

Why for four days he was gone.

There was no one in their house.

Only their old maid.

“Where could I find him?” I asked her.

She gave me a piece of paper.

I went home with a heavy heart.

It felt like my world was drifted apart.

I looked at the paper once again,

Tears fell down while reading them.

I don’t how to endure this kind of ache,

I kept on telling it was just a mistake.



FRIDAY.

Fresh flowers I brought,

I put them on the ground.

I smiled bitterly,

As I read his name in the tomb.

“I love you.”  I whispered.

I didn't hear anything in return.

“I love you!” I shouted.

Hoping he’ll answer me at ease.

But all I heard was the sound of the trees.

I cried again..

How many tears should I cry,

For him to come back?

For him to be with me again?

To feel his warmth.

To smell his scent.

To stare at his eyes.

It was too late.

Too late…



Saturday.

I wept until I could no longer feel the pain.



Sunday.

I did what I've done yesterday.



Monday..

I come to school.

Act as if nothing happen,

They asked me if I’m fine,

I nodded and smiled.  

While walking into our room,  

Wearing fake mask behind my gloom.

But tears fell again on my face,

When I didn't see him at his usual place.

I glance at the empty chair,

How I wish he was sitting there.