i'm not stupid enough to believe
that everything lasts forever
and that nobody ever leaves
because i've seen it happen
so many times to me

everything i've ever had to let go of
has claw marks on it

but the thing is, i'm fine with that:
with things changing
with people leaving me
i guess i just came to terms
with the fact that that's life

but the one thing i don't think
i can ever handle
would be losing you

i think it would wreck me to pieces
i think it would leave me so devastated
that it would be like tearing my heart right out of my chest,

because i think i'm in love with you
and i don't even care about losing anyone else

you are all i've ever wanted.

i have to tell you

the thought of losing you
makes my stomach turn
my fingers tremble
and my chest ache with waves
of pain

because i've never wanted
anyone more
in my entire life
and it scares me that you have me
right in the palm of your hand

promise me you'll stay
unlike the others

promise me
you won't change your mind

promise me
that your promises
won't be bent
by passing time

that i am more than just a passing fancy
that you'd get bored of then leave
once someone with a prettier face
comes around knocking at your door

because you're starting to feel
like home

and nothing terrifies me more.

thank You for loving me
thank You for never turning away when i did
thank You for never giving up when i walked away from You
and convinced myself that it’s alright, that i’m alright,
even when i woke up with a heavy feeling in my chest
and everyday was a struggle just trying to breathe without You

thank You for Your faithfulness
thank You for Your grace
thank You for Your presence surrounding me
even when i did nothing but spit on Your face
and curse Your Name behind closed doors where i thought nobody could see,
but come Sunday and i put on my best dress
and pretended to worship.

thank You for Your patience;
You patiently searched for me in ***** alleyways where You didn’t belong
where the enemy stripped me of my clothes and dressed me in shame
chained my feet
and told me lies after lies after lies
and how i believed him.

i sold my soul to sin and i thought i was shackled for life
but You came to me
and bought me with the blood of Christ
the price for my life was the death of Your Son,
and You said, “so be it, I will send Him.”

i can never thank You enough.

i will never fathom the depth of Your love,
how You sent Your Beloved to die
for someone so undeserving,
for a people like us.

thank You for Your love,
thank You,
thank You,
thank You.

my life is a gift for You alone, Savior King.

oh i can see it now, i can see the love in Your eyes
i can see it. i can see it.

thank You.

thank You.

thank You.

you know when you miss someone so much
it’s like tsunami tides washing over you
and it almost hurts to breathe
you just stand there, not knowing what to do
overcome with emotions that makes you think of days long gone
and people that have walked away from you.

i didn’t expect you to be gone so soon—
i feel like our conversation is still hanging in the air
just waiting to be continued

i still have so many things to say to you
but i guess they’re going to have to be
left unsaid, forever stuck in my throat

sometimes i sit here with my heartache
raging quietly inside of myself
and i don’t know what to do with my hands
my chest feels tight
and i feel like i am drowning

i want this feeling to stop now but i know it’s going to take a while
so i just sit here and try to repress it
because i don’t want to let it overcome me.

you will meet someone beautiful
who will make you wonder
why you ever thought
you were better off
alone.

someday someone out there is going to look at you like you’re made of stardust and will love you as if it's what they were born to do.

wait for it.