i'm lying in bed
and i'm crying
because
i miss you
and i cry harder
because
you don't miss me
and that
breaks my heart
because
you don't want me
like i want you

Fine, you win, you're right.
I’ve been hiding remainder feelings
Under my white duvet cover.
Can't believe that it used to be ours.

Kept on telling myself witless lies,
Such as "I've run out of washing liquid".
Kept on smelling what’s left of us in it,
Waiting for one final clearance.

i spent the winter thinking
it was all a lost battle to me
until the leaves came out
shrouding the world in green

they say every
rose has it's thorns
but i've got a gizmo
to strip those off

one little ray of lost
sunlight found its way
through the ceiling crack and
now there's something
blossoming inside
my shriveled heart

notes scribbled in
sharpie on paper cups
and a kiss on each of
my freckled cheeks

vague shapes in
milkfoam and learning
to accept love that i am
not used to holding onto

i don't feel like i could fly
don't feel like i could dance
but i could tuck a fern behind
my ear and grab your hand
and we could skip
up the sidewalk

and like i could plant kisses
on the faces of everyone
who i have ever cared about
push them into that beam
of sun and watch the good
feelings begin to sprout until
one day our faces all flourish
into something no longer
dry and hopeless but something
more like smiles and cheer

they say to bloom
where you're planted

i say just have the strength
to make it through the
dormant phase and when
life begins to slip back towards
warmth and light the blooms
will find their way to you

somehow
some way
keep the flower
inside you alive