I still cannot believe 
that you got me convinced
all this **** is somehow related to love.
well, tonight I’m bleaching my heart.

and, of course,
I’ll forget to put on the gloves,
so I’ll blister quite bad.
but as long as it works, I really don’t mind.

as I’ll be scrubbing the pain,
which will take quite a while,
I’ll notice a big warning sign:
“use with caution, it erases it all”.

I’ll stop scrubbing,
tears will start running down.
then I’ll smile and start scrubbing harder,
thinking: “finally, what a great bargain”.

my demons really like his sanity.
it is not mutual.

he is my biggest source of sanity,
he is my biggest source of crazy too.

it’s tough to be the needy one
that wants to be around all the time.

without him,
my life consists of days to count.

he says he counts them too
but then, no way to find out...

I’ll destroy every little last bit of you
I’ve collected too scared of losing,
Stashed behind the books that are sort of stupid,
Such as guides to becoming a perfect human.

I’ll throw it out the window while it rains,
The weather has recently been truly perfect.
Perfect for having long-term depressions
And thinking of people that ain’t even worth it.

I’ll, of course, make sure there are no neighbours
They will 100% tell my mom and she’ll make a scene
Screaming: "Are you going ******* crazy?!"
Being more in love with you than I’ve ever been.

But then hopefully a gang of street cats
Will in one way or another disgrace it.
Or perhaps very drunk teenagers will,
I’ve seen quite a few of them around lately.

So I’ll just stand at my balcony staring
At that **** being literally shat on.
Hopefully, it will make me feel better,
Hopefully, I’ll get over it.

I wanted to see him in daytime
And do things other than ***.

That’s when I knew for sure,
I should be seeing him less.

i am the one

the russian ****** girl
who has been calling you
quite often
late
quite often
high

i know it must have felt annoying
i do apologise

but don't you miss
my nonsense calls
sometimes?