I am a wailing infant swaddled in my crib,
warm with love.
I am a playful toddler lying on the pavement with scraped knees,
blind with tears.
I am a running child on the playground at noon,
breathless and free.
I am a defiant teen hunched over on the curb,
hopeless and broken.
I am a wonderstruck bride bathed with white,
full of life.
I am a lonesome wife curled up in an empty bed,
yearning for him.
I am a delighted mother watching my baby drive away,
proud beyond belief.
I am a sorrowful widow standing beside his grave,
abandoned and afraid.
I am a decaying woman holding her first great-grandbaby,
nostalgic but peaceful.
I am a dying elder slipping into the darkness beyond,
eager to rest.
I am
crushed
love-struck
turbulent
shattered
passionate
f­earful
euphoric
anguished
zealous
­ grief-stricken
victorious
**alive

All the flowers were just about to bloom
When I was, for the first time, in a crowded room
Alone… With you

By the end of those two days
We were already in the flirting phase
Full of shy smiles and quiet jokes with you

Yeah you already had another girl
But that was just about to unfurl
All I had to do was wait to be with you

And I already had another guy
Who got me more than just a little high
But you convinced me, I’d be better with you

When she didn’t want to be there
You came running to me and let me hear
How she was just toying with you

Time and again, he went and let me down
He was just toying with me, but you were always around
Made me realize it was safer with you

Eventually things fell apart like we knew they would
And we gave voice to your unspoken question: if I could
Ever want to be with you

And that’s where it all began
We closed our eyes and just ran
With it, happy that I was finally with you

You put your arm around me, asked “is that okay?”
And I didn’t know what else to say
So I just stayed and watched movies with you

Flash back to the first week, in a room full of friends
But when your hand found mine, our conversation ends
Because, suddenly, I am alone with you

And it was conversations with our hands met
Between us, at sunset
In the parking lot with you

It was your hand in my pocket
My hand around the picture of us in my locket
Lying on the couch with you

It was dangerous
Rebellious
Sneaking around with you

It was sensational
Wonderful
Magical being with you

It was precious sand
Slipping our hands
A fragile era with you

We went from “you look wonderful tonight”
To three a.m. fights, staying up crying all night
On the phone with you

So now I’m bathed in the moonlight
Wide awake at midnight
Lying here, in the dark, without you

It’s one-hundred- and-ten, heat’s on high
I claim I’m alright, but it’s a lie
Because it’s so cold here without you

I know we weren’t made to last
Our foundation was made of glass
But it’s hard to think of me without you

The whirlwind of emotions brought us to life
Everything from passion to strife
I feel less alive without you

It was short lived, but it was all too real
To forget how you made me feel
I’ve never felt more alone than I do without you

Looking back on it now, I become distraught:
I think I was more in love with the thought
Of you than I was….
With you

I can’t tell which way is up or down
My thoughts keep tossing all around
I’m stuck inside a whirlwind
Your words running circles in my mind
I’m up here dancing through the air
No net below me, but I don’t care
If I fall, will you be there to catch me
I guess all that’s left is to wait and see
Because I’m about to crash and burn if you aren’t there
Tell me you will be, tell me you swear
You’ll be there; my brain’s already on fire
Can you douse the flames and return the desire

What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Try moving a little nearer
Wipe away the fog, try and see a little clearer.
All you see is sunken eyes
A girl run dry from years of torment and lies
Every moment another unwanted surprise
A girl who will fight about anything
‘Cause she needs to feel something
She’s so tired of feeling nothing
She’s a walking corpse with nowhere to go
No one else has ever felt this low
There’s too much that they don’t know
You say I don’t know how you feel
Like everything around you is surreal
Because your heart’s not made of steel
There’s no one on your side, you say
You’re just trying to keep the pain at bay
But end up pushing everyone away
I know the story better than you think I do
Because I’ve looked into that mirror, too
And I survived what you’ve been through
I’ve been down that same lane
I’ve felt your pain
You aren’t insane
You stand tall through all you can take
But when you’ve had enough, you break
No choice but to give in to the earthquake
It’s still a dark story when it’s covered in lace
And the tears still stream down your face
And you still don’t know what dreams to chase
I know there’s so much you don’t say
You’re just trying to make it through the day
But I promise I’ll never walk away
Stop running and stand your ground
You’re done being pushed around
Use the courage you have found
The pain has made you strong
The best revenge is to live happy and long
They’ll never silence your song
Moving on the key
Your soul’s still beautiful; you can look to me
Look at your scars and strength is all I see
You can lean on me, if you need
I can take the lead
But you need to plant the seed
Then I’ll make a spark
To help you light up the dark
The difference will be stark
Break the chains, set yourself free
When you forget who you are, look to me
And I’ll remind you of all you can’t see