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17.4k · Dec 2018
stargazing
tainted black Dec 2018
..
she
closed her
eyes and took
a very deep breath,
crossed her fingers then
w  h     i     s    p   e    r     e   d,
"I long to see the   o n l  y
man who made me
shine in his
darkness
..
tainted black May 2020
...
shame,
i've forgotten how
my words used to unfurl
like a folded piece of origami

how
it felt to write
like my blood was filled
with nothing but metaphors and ink

how
my words used to fit
with each other
utterly perfect together



all i see now,
are jumbled letters
looking too foreign and alien
in my eyes; unfamiliarity


what used to be
burning passion and life
in every piece now screams;
u   b   i    q    u    i   t   y



distinctiveness,
g    o    n    e
emotion,
g    o    n     e


the story in a work done,
the feeling that emanated then,
the desire that kept it going,
g     o     n    e
it is all gone.
tainted black Dec 2018
these
f    e    e   l    i     n    g   s
never
deserved
any
r   e   c   o    g    n    i     t   i    o   n




no
metaphor
is worthy
to
d    e     s     c     r    i     b    e




this
l      i      t      t     l     e
secret
that
i
h          i            d        e




yet
your
n­ame
r     h     y     m     e     s





with
every word i
t     h     i       n      k



which
makes my
h    e     l     p    l     e     s      s
heart
s        h        r       i        n      k
being slightly dramatic in this one.
618 · Jan 2019
a beautiful disaster
tainted black Jan 2019
i
never knew
that disasters —
catastrophes

could be something  like this

it
can be
as good as
a morning sunshine
greeting you with a kiss


a
blooming flower
vibrant
and in bliss

a
kid so happy
while opening a gift

and i never knew that
disasters can be beautiful
and that it could mean--- you
you are a beautiful disaster.
545 · Nov 2018
fake happy
tainted black Nov 2018
she smiled-
she joked-
she accepted new people in her life

yet she still feel alone.
441 · Nov 2018
a garden of wilted flowers
tainted black Nov 2018
he planted—
flowers in her heart
watered them every day
and left it to wilt
355 · May 2020
Untitled
tainted black May 2020
i had tried my best
to put into rest
the heart that is for you;
still beating


but when your name
fills in my ear
my insides kept on
singing


the trouble with forgetting thee
was not merely the process
of    p   l    a    i    n    l   y
f  o  r  g  e  t  t  i  n  g


it was bottling up some
a s h e n   b u t t e r f l i e s
and stitching a heart that's
m    e    n    d     i    n    g
the dread of getting out of love.
i remember the embers dying,
the chest that felt the sting,
the wound that kept on aching,

the silence between rivers of thought; tempting to sing.

it hums, it buzzes
as my mind right there fuzzes---
blank--- black
what the hell was that?

everything turned gray
then rainbows, then rain
followed by a strong
h   u    r    r   i    c    a    n    e

i twirled, buzzed
fiddled and dozed
a lot more of nothing
until it became everything


the silence grew loud
i wanted to get out
its fingers--- no claws
crawled, until there was jaws


i screamed, but screaming was painful
it burned me, until i was put out.
a scribnle from a scattered thought.
335 · Nov 2018
skylines and highways
tainted black Nov 2018
cold winds gushing in
flashing lights and falling stars
sad hearts driving far
idk if this is a haiku or what ***. i'm on the road rn and this suddenly popped into my mind.
285 · Dec 2018
ends
tainted black Dec 2018
i have always
dreamed about
us meeting at
one same point
of tangency;
intersection
so close that
nothing can
pull us apart
Christmas is near and I'm here missing you.
277 · May 2019
a man with a million lives
tainted black May 2019
i have longed to meet
one person who loved reading
one who lived more lives; still living
a wight athirst to read and relive each setting
tingling and searching a story for him to walk with his feet
to my man who's love for reading reading is equal to my love for him.
247 · May 2020
hush
tainted black May 2020
i had once told you
that to the stars i talk,
filled with boisterous
l   a   u   g   h   t   e    r



something too peculiar
for your ears to hear
yet a daring smile is
what you gave me after





all loquaciousness
in my body
to the astral entities
i permit them see



it was always loud,
an enjoying ruckus
a moment of nothing
but pure glee


but when we met
in an unexpected collision
something in me stirred
and changed me be



i've learnt to talk in a
h    u    s     h
with your name like
a forbidden word to rush



feeling like i don't want
for the comets to hear
and to admire you like
how i admire you, dear
it is hard to secretly admire someone.
243 · Dec 2018
fancy
tainted black Dec 2018
i fancy
candle lit dinners
dresses that glitters
perfumes with flower odors

branded stilettos
unexpected rendezvous
but what fancy more
is you— only you
242 · Oct 2020
i was chaos
tainted black Oct 2020
I was chaos in delicate lace,
in satin and taffeta; a pretty face
what they see is what I let
a peek behind; they may regret.

I was chaos in delicate lace,
with smiles charming--- tears no trace
lips with chapstick; smudge on side
nothing but a breathless ride.

I was chaos in delicate lace,
disarray with class and taste
I reek of Chanel and all things sweet,
nothing but a foul treat.

I was chaos in delicate lace,
only but a pretty face
a troubled heart and restless mind,
a woman whose love is always blind.
This one is inspired by my favourite line from the book I'm currently reading.
229 · Jan 2019
i am no poet
tainted black Jan 2019
"i am no poet"

that was
b    e      f     o    r      e
i knew
how to play
with words
i do not say

before
i knew
how to mend
the trust that is bent

before
i knew you
and what
heartbreaks really meant
And that was way before.
227 · Nov 2018
i held my pen
tainted black Nov 2018
i held my pen
at 3 AM
with hopes depleting
amidst the air

and then i thought
what to write
is it my sadness
or is it my fright?

i held my pen
at 3 AM
my paper blank
mind all hollow

with another pill
to take and swallow
to sing me to sleep
with its voice so mellow

i held my pen
at 3 AM
with ragged breath
and drooping lids

then the pen slid
out of grasp
along with my
final gasp
tried to write a free verse poem inspired by my sadness last night. think i failed on this one though.
221 · Nov 2018
daffodils and snapdragons
tainted black Nov 2018
her eyes are closed
no breath on loose
the casket lowers
a hole with dirt and stones
and I'll be waiting for your rebirth
208 · Dec 2018
buwan
tainted black Dec 2018
magningning ka,
sa sarili ****
puting
l      i       w      a     n    a     g

sa sariling
****
k    a     d     i    l     i    m    a      n


na syang
b     u     m    a    b    a     l    o   t
sa iyong
p   a    g    k    a    t    a    o


- -

shine,
in your own
white
l     i     g     h    t


in your
own
d     a     r     k    n    e    s     s


that
wraps your entire
b    e     i     n    g
Currently staring at the moon.
208 · May 2020
Untitled
tainted black May 2020
the stillness of the night iginited thee
the fire beneath thy skin
a phoenix above the frosty sea
an agenda hiding within
202 · May 2020
musings (trigger warning*)
tainted black May 2020
I filled in my lungs with cigarette smoke
Then bathed my body with water; it's cold
I closed my eyes, and I heard my self broke
With walls breaking down and tears I can't hold
Whispers came and they had bothered me then
Matched with headache and undying flu
Funny how I felt like caged in a den
A soul behind an eye none can see through
So I took a blade and I nursed my burns
Carved out shapes that looked like comets and stars
The blade skidding in every twist and turns
To be called art when they turn into scars


But right now I am wishing myself dead
To get a pistol and blow up my head
drafted this a year back when i felt helpless, distraught and alone. glad i've got passed through it.
189 · Dec 2018
key
tainted black Dec 2018
key
i locked up
my heart in a
c     h      e        s      t  

buried it
d     e       e     p
beneath the earth


of false
    h      o      p         e    
and droken dreams

now I'm
searching for the
k                  e               y

from the
one who holds it
d       e       a        r     l      y
185 · Dec 2018
black christmas
tainted black Dec 2018
sooted
candelarias
greeted  my Christmas morn
along with the flakes of snow that freely falls---

the ground shivered with me as I
touched your hand
that is as cold
as the asphalt covered
with white that somehow
immitated your lips
so pale 'tis

daffodils replaced the poinsettias
mourners replaced the gifts
tears replaced the smiles
still, we hope you're happy where ever you are
This happened two years back and it  still breaks my heart.
170 · Dec 2018
dry
tainted black Dec 2018
dry
i ran out of words
don't worry only for a little while
the metaphors seemed to become out of style
the rhymes don't seem to rhyme
like the way it was--

and
i
don't
know
how
to
get
it
back.
166 · May 2019
ᶠᵘⁿⁿʸ
tainted black May 2019
funny how i could see
the rolling tides of the sea
which lay behind your misty eyes
that feels like sunsets and summer nights

funny how you could shine
like the roaring sun in July
a joyous kid; i heave a sigh
how can you make a curve out of a line?

funny how i could envision you as a star
one i could see from afar
outstretched, out of my grasp
but i know you are there, as you always are
157 · Nov 2018
(an)esthesia
tainted black Nov 2018
no matter how she tried
to never care--
to take no notice--
but when memories collide
the past feeling resides
all thanks to my first love, who inspired me to make this one.
156 · Nov 2018
(un)stick
tainted black Nov 2018
stick with people
who'll stick with you
until the end of your breaths

stick with people
who'll stick with you
even in the times that you hate yourself

stick with people
who'll stick with you
and will tell you life is worthy of living

stick with people
who'll stick with you
in times it gets depressing


                     but then if you can't, even though how hard you search then better stick to yourself.
my best friend told me the other day to stick with people who's a positive influence in my life and here i am writing a piece out of it. and yeah, i just realize that people should do it too, to stick with people that makes them happy but then if you can't find those people sticking with yourself is the best option.
148 · Dec 2018
burn
tainted black Dec 2018
you set me
on fire by those
sweet things you say


the lies you
w     h      i       s       p       e      r
in my ears; you relay


yet no matter
how I tell myself
to not  listen


I find my body
f    a   l    l        i   n
in your deception--- it remains
I suddenly remember Alexander Hamilton.
147 · Nov 2018
angels and demons
tainted black Nov 2018
she spreads kindness--
like halo is her middle name
what they don't know was
the devil always calls her
which puts her to shame
142 · Nov 2018
i used to write about love
tainted black Nov 2018
i used to write about  love

yet—
never this painful
never this emotional
never with this deeper meaning

i used to write about love

though—
never as factual
never as concrete
with this i am sure

i used to write about love

but—
not this; never in this state
not this heartfelt
not this time, i know

i used to write about love

now—
with basis
with common knowledge
with experience

i used to write about  love

and—
they used to be words
all hollow; like how my mind used to be
but now it contains with those promises you've given me
140 · Dec 2018
phoenix
tainted black Dec 2018
rise
in
your
darkest
times

for
everyone
is
entitled
to
be
weak
sometimes

to
burn
i     n
dismay
of one's
s    e     l    f


but
don't
forget
t      o
r i s e
above
t  h e
ashes
a simple reminder! ❤
137 · Nov 2018
metaphors
tainted black Nov 2018
"do  you like me?" she asked.
"no, it's your metaphors that i like." he replied looking away.
124 · May 2020
i met a man
tainted black May 2020
i met a man
not a boy
or so i thought
that i did

he was the combo
of aftershave and cocoa,
with a sharp tongue
and is candid


often he was like winter,
cold and makes my body shiver
a torture and sometimes
makes me feel under the weather



in a rarity he is like summer
an explosion of warmth and radiance
beaming with heat;
turns out to be childish and sweet

i met a man, not a boy
who left in me imprints of mystery,
became the silence in my cacophony
and my own sense of reality
i really thought i did.
116 · Apr 2020
how?
tainted black Apr 2020
how do you take down palisades
of mistrust and hurt and agony?
ear piercing cries;
of misplaced love and jealousy?

how do you forget mem'ries
of love and life and happiness
snapped out shut;
like a blinking bliss?

how can you, how can i
forget the metaphors i have carved?
out of you and words and tales
that's known by heart?
i'm quite happy that i'm back in writing poems.
109 · Nov 2018
rain
tainted black Nov 2018
he was the storm
in my verbal calamities
108 · Nov 2018
Untitled
tainted black Nov 2018
he's got a beautiful soul
which made her ugly soul beautiful
tainted black Dec 2018
.
endless
they wander
in a labyrinth full
of thoughts, unsaid and
unheard
directions
unknown
--- clueless
to  w h e r e
their words
are heading,
who to reach
out by the use
of metaphors
that seem too
lost for e a s y
comprehension
and they
love to write
these words down
in forms of artistic "innovations"
96 · Nov 2018
possesion
tainted black Nov 2018
flowers--
filled her mind
music--
filled her heart
while it was him---
who penetrated her soul
92 · Dec 2018
turns
tainted black Dec 2018
i
kept
on
choosing
the
wrong
turns

but
who
knows
?

maybe
this
time
this
is
the
right
one

— The End —