cold cement under my feet
contemplating a deep colorful galaxy
humming to myself the tune we love
you are not mine
as the breath within my lungs is not mine
I take you in, and then you are gone
we are worlds apart
a century between us as we embrace
the soft night air is our home
adrift on a sea of doubts
lovers and friends
and at last friends
the universe expands
and you float away from me

I smoke a cigarette
at 11:30 p.m
it is cold
even with your absence
I am alive in a world that is home to you
that is enough

you did not see me crumblin
                                                    g
under the weight of my thoughts
you did not see the tear slip down,
rolling down my cheek

maybe you did not care.
maybe i'm tired of always being the second choice
maybe i want to feel important and loved and worthy
and maybe you can't do that for me
and maybe that's okay
i've lived my entire life like this,
what's a while more?

thank you for being there during all the good times,
they were few and far in between but
you were there i guess.
you were always there.

just never when i needed you most

The intensity of your gaze
Could turn me into ashes
Wishing it's a stare of amaze
But darling, I know, we lost our chances

That look in your eyes
Are to cover the lies
And the look in my eyes
Are pretentious, a disguise
that I knew nothing of your crime

I'll take the fire in your eyes
Even if it will burn me alive
I don't want to hear the truth
Love me still, even if it's just a lie

Promised a life of sweetness
Said you wanted to take care
Feel better feel better feel better

For worse.

My soul says no to you

But body
she begs me
Always for more

I'm sick
I'm Tired

Of shoveling you in
putting you inside me
betraying all that I am

I am finished decaying
But sweet tooth wont stop panging
Oh, how desperate
always
for more

And I see that coat of yours fall to the floor... just a story the tongue
told to open a door

Now I find holes in my heart,
Cavities.
Galore

And still,
in the complete silence,
the universe
whispers your
name
and I
stretch out my fingertips,
searching for
you in the
overwhelming

darkness.