A name is a name
to which someone is giving

for how they act
or how they look

for what they do
or what they say

But the name you have given
me is none of the above

for I did not act how you say
I do not look how you think

I did not do what you whispered
I did not say what you spread

I am not fake
and I am not a loner

Because to be fake
is to act like someone you are not

And to be a loner
I would have to want to be alone

But I do not know who I am
so I cannot act like someone else

And I cannot leave this ****** house
because of the scars etched across my skin where your words inflicted them

I am not what you say I am
I do not what you say I do
I just try to be the best possible me there is
Without knowing me at all

I can't breathe.
The air is extricated from
my lungs by their
vacant, judgemental
stares and their obscene
words litter my skin
like the paint
that splattered my pink flesh
as I tried to paint you
a picture of what
this feels like.

No amount of water
could cleanse the feeling
of the tense atmosphere that
clouds my vision
as if I were a wingless airplane
flying on a foggy night, but
I'm not a flight you want
to take home tonight.

And I know you see
my straightened back
as another entity proceeds
2 feet too close into my
personalaized hell.

Turn away.
Pretend you don't see anything.

For acknowledging my
social anxiety doesn't
relieve me.

It causes me to be
more anxious than before.

Some days my head is high
My chin is raised
My eyes are bright
And I sing self praise

Other days my head is low
My chin is tucked
My eyes are sad
I'm out of luck

My soul is joyful
I feel no fear
I can't stop smiling
I'm happy I'm here

I go outside
I grin at the sun
I smell the roses
It's good to be someone

But then I'm down
And everything crashes
A tear slowly slides
The pain comes in flashes

It hurts to breathe
Yet I cry and cry
Sometimes I wish
That I could just die

But then I remember
I was made for something
And I lift my head
And walk with a spring

I move on to the good days
I pass the hurt
Because even the best days
Outshine the worst

I know true darkness,
it's something that can sway you.
We think of demons or ghost,
but in reality, they're right next to you.
Wearing flesh just like you.

Think of this;
If someone cares too much,
is that seen black or white?
Maybe a hidden agenda,
maybe control out of spite?

Manipulators; they understand subconsciously.
Seeing other people's potential, like a curse,
allowing them to chose your fate, which is worse?
Slowly, they can elevate you, but in a instant as a lost
interest; they can murmur disappointment.

Premeditating all outcomes.
Exhausting their mind by weaving words.
Someone who is plotting has foresight,
or is human behaviour playing its part?

Some who see too much, know too much.
Having high expectations,
allowing them to manipulate fate.
Power over probability is dark and deadly.
Should you feel afraid of these weavers,
simply remind yourself; they can be great.

As they catch up,
the bass starts bouncing.
Your fingers gallop across her skin.
Weary-eyed; you pick up speed.

Your heart a steaming engine,
whispering heat from each ventricle.
Pumping into overdrive exhaustively.
Yet, she allows you one last ride.

You give it all you got.
Blood flows madly.
Her eyes light with excitement.
Everything passing blurs.
Absolute serenity.

The motor flatlines, exhausted; empty.
They have you; it's all over.
You're her favorite song, galloping gently.
She's the temperance to your gluttony.
Fallen into arms, the two sob infinitely.

Obtuse monolith glowing steady.
Lighting heaps of toothless jack o' lantern.
Snarky comments come pouring the crowd.
Howling a tone harmoniously.

Scenes change, the verdict enriches.
Terrible cries; screeching shrieks of witches.
Bellowing sighs turn to glee.
Flickering faces fade; instantaneously.

Burning the monolith; charring the grass.
After a pause, the anxiety lasts.
Effigies ignited enhancing the praise.
Nature arrives greeting the blaze.

Winds of water crowd the sky.
Little speckles of rain trickle surprise.
Cowardly pumpkins quickly roll away.
Effigy extinguished; feeling betrayed.

Shadows retreat anxious and free.
Lightning whips with thunderous speed.
Echoing silence the monolith dims.
A new cycle graciously begins.

Systematically, we are looking for truth in all falsehoods.
Never fear the pursuit of knowledge or that of reason.
Spite such hard times; we need to fall back on art.
Only in such equity can we measure tranquility.

Singular as inquired, some traits are more bold.
Inspirations of love, politics, and freedom are not found-
in the classroom; only through art, culture, and equality
can this be achieved.

Educate and inform our youth; as they our greatest aspiration.
Build into them, culture and love; make sure it becomes habituated.
The dreams of prophets defeat the minds of oppression.
Break this mold supporting a slave mind if we seek progression.   

May they bring us justification, and flourish our culture.
May they be wise, and hold back the elevations of tyranny.
May they be able to grow into philosophers, painters, and prophets.
May conquest not be for world *******, but of  peace and knowledge.

Our past father's will sleep gently, to know no war drums.
In the age of total enlightenment we cannot be alone.
Sharing is our greatest gift to the world, we need teachers.
May we foster those who seek it, and educate those who love it.
Never should we shy away from the prospect that is our youth.

To those mean, I appreciate you.

To those interested, I teach you.

To those lost, I guide you.

To those snarky, I enjoy you.

To those scared, I adore you.

To those loyal, I love you.