You made me think
I’m bless’d~
The old-fashioned way
you’re dress’d.
My eyes are spellbound
&
I’m obsess’d.

Lost in your thoughts
&
Lost in your way
My eyes
Are madly restless today.

The angel
Draws the Glock
With a swift flick of motion
Pulls the trigger
A bullet rips through your core~
As it strikes
The truth unveils
The show begins.
You kick & slam
But the enigmatic door remains~
You gave it your all
Concluding the telecast
Your white sore in a red hole
Rot, maggots & gore.
A true crucifixion of your soul.

~Burning in vengeance~

Now you face the mind~
A chasm carved by arrogance.
& now,
I become the angel
Trigger poised in suspense.

People say
Closed eyes see nothing
So,
Hey, nothingness?
My nothingness, such a seraphic...
~~
When my eyes are closed
All I see is beauty
The angelic face of yours.
~~
-A universal hint!
Both reality & a dream,

~As beautiful as you seem~

Any time
Every time
It makes my mind strive~

~A restless power~

Starving!
Starved for desire
Not in the way a ball rolls
But in the depth of my love's goals~

~Love~

~
She is mute
&
I'm blind.

She Said,
"I was his Strawberry Moon
Red & dim
Lambent with love.
But he never stepped into my light
Never felt my red beams.
And now…
Time is gone.
Time is gone."
~
& after all, what did he reply?

Ohh
Mrs. Brilliant Chemist
Marry me
Don't resist!
Feed me~
With homemade psychedelics
Make my mind
Spin like a twist!

~~

D izzy

~~~

Nepal
1920 BS
In the month of Mangsir
~
they met on the cold misty hillside.
Mist draped the mountains
their peaks covered in clouds.
Green terraces stretched along the hills.

~
She stood on a greenway
draped in a flowing Nepalese traditional dress
her long hair rippling in the soft gusts of air.
She turned & their eyes met
deep, significant & dreamlike.

~
Suddenly
tears welled in her eyes.
& for reasons he couldn’t name
they welled in his too
He reached to wipe them away
but with the cold wind of Mangsir
she disappeared
like every shade of burning paper blown toward the sky.
~
She disappeared
~
She disappeared
Yet
if she loved him
why didn't she leave a flower
where he first wiped her tears?

Why?

~
I could resist
I could!
Oh surely
I swear I could.

I need no anesthesia
No Anesthesia or numbness
Darling~
Please

Come over me
  My Dr. Sweet Anggie please
    I implore you!
Take your razor-edged scalpel
   Only you!
Make a safe incision.

With your soft warm hand
    Wrench my heart away from me!
  Detach my pumper & leave me whole.
     Undo my pumper with my brain
  So I may cease this non-physical war!

  Let the blood flow torrentially & free,
Like lunatic waters in breaking dams &
  rivers.
I care not!
I want it nevermore.

Take it it’s yours!

I want it nevermore.
Take it it’s yours.

~~

I wished that I were He
Or
She were You  instead
But Time a fickle Artisan
Had other Hands  to Thread

I can't dominate
my cognition
it's a ******' storm
a wild tide
I’m sinking in it
wrapped in it
aside.
In this pushy
blow of cognition
I could fly
travel in time
leave God behind
But at what limitations?
And more's !
More's !
More's !
Like I'm streaming on Youtube
with frictional shows!
I wish I could think
beyond boundaries
As I imagine
I compose!
In cognition—
What if I could roam in time?
What if I could fly?
What if!?
What if!?
What if!?
More's
More's
More's.

~what if~

Don't love me
~
I'm powerless & frail like a chained ower
Paralyzed & chased
Plucked like an innocent flower
For thy vanity & egoism
For thy agility & False altruism
A sip of lies Like a sip of whiskey
Both bitter & sour
Float from lips that once bloomed with power.

~.                                          
Seriously
When it's said
  some words can haunt & pierce
deeper, sharper and more brutal than a blade
~the pallid blood flows 24/7 from your vein
    driving your mind to madness to pain.
~~
That cut, Gothic & red
   an open, hemorrhagic gate
never heals, never fades.
  And the pain
it will remain
  it will remain
~
Always
&
Forever
&
  Permanently

The end.
~~
                         Chaitra 2081

Just like a torrential flow
Thy remembrance~
Lamentably remains
Like stagnant waters in my drain.

Let your sore bleed
Let the soldiers speak
The pain of the military
The soldier’s war poetry.

~~
The dog crying in the streets
Listen to the news of the devil

~Crossroads~

A glimpse of the red light!

~~
The speed of green tank wheels
The sound of fear that the night reveals.

No matter
how much!
you refine or extend
perfection retreats
a mirage with no end~

~Perfection's got no end~

Look at the pond
You & I
Paddling together
Beneath the sky.
Within the ripples ~~
With a watery sigh
Let go of the burden
Let it lie.

~
Oh listen, my desperate heart
At the young night Do not watch
Do not wish & do not start.
I'm powerless, injured & crucified—
Jittered, oft died & cried in yellow light.
Let not a thing be your wish
Don't wish for a thing
Don't.

The lemon
Not sour & acidic
But sweet & delicious.
Lemon
All I want is "the lemon"
For my every life.
Not ballin’, not wealth
Not power
Just the lemon
Golden & wild.
Nor wisdom!
I’d rather go blind
Rather go dumb
Just to taste a lemon light.
Beautiful & sweet lemon.
Lemon.

~
It's strange to miss a stranger.
~~

For Humans

What is most perilous
& chaotic?
Is it the ghosts? The viruses?

No
It is the self.
The Self.
The Brain.
A hidden sage
a wrecking ball
a firestorm in silence.
No alien force
could match
the tiny brain
the mighty peril of the human.

Don’t hate me.
Don’t fault me.
Don’t criticize me.
Don’t judge either!

~~

There’s more to see,
More to feel.

~~

See yourself—
See mine along!
Different people,
Different perceptions,
A different you and me.

~~

Like different flowers,
Different conceptions,
Different originality~
Different innovations!
Different.
Different!!

~Different~

You wrecked my time
with every surprising rhyme.
Once in a while!
You slowed down, stood still & sped
Allowing my illusions to be Fed.

You wrecked my emotions
With visions warped & colors bled
Twisting time in altered hues
Feeding dreams inside my head.

~
If She is Spring & I a Tree
Skeletal, in Winter's grip
My Tears have long since fallen
Like Leaves that Time forgot
No more to fall, no more to weep
But come, oh come, with gentle Hand
& touch me, as the ripples stir
In some unfathomable Sea
That I may bloom & fall again
To weep & shed anew.

~~
Come my love & touch me
Let me bloom thrive into verdant green
So I can shed my leaves & cry again for thee.

~

I don’t know what’s going on!
& I don't know why—
I'm buzzing like a bee,
wings frantic,
and no one gives a f~ck.

I don’t know what’s going on!
& I don't know why—
I'm singing like a canary,
caged criminally,
a melodious chirp misspent on deaf ears.
Seriously, no one gives a dammn f~ck.

I don’t know what’s really going on!
& I don't know why—
I'm writing philosophy,
However unaware of my own life's philosophy.

Broken wings,
no longer able to fly high.

Dazed, befuddled by the actors around me—

Sometimes,
I wonder...
Am I a bee, a canary,
dreaming of being human?
Or a human,
dreaming of being a bee & a canary,

flapping, buzzing,
singing in a language
no human will ever understand?

Nothing is duller than the ache
For what was never Ours
A Phantom casts no Lover
Nor answers when implored

Cease the Calling Ghostly Whim!
The Wind will not return
A Flame once fed on Vacancy
Must teach itself to burn
Itself to Burn!

~
The cigarettes
Remind me of you

~Darling~

When I take a puff & blow
Writing poetry about you
Time feels both destroyed & slow.

~~
Just like roses
Magnetic
Just like a star
Naturally aesthetic.

~It's the you~

~
-- We capture recollections
    exist in the now
    sketching a destiny we may never reach.
-- Would you erase the past
    wipe it all clean
    like waning tears dissolving into time
    letting a momentary thought
    flow away
~~
just before you die?

Wisdom
Blooms
Wisdom
Wilts
If
Wisdom
Works
It
Moreover
Reawakens.­

~
When I lost myself
In a sandscape of low drive.
Burnt out like a fallen leaf
In the storm!

~Indifferent~

Lizard king appeared in my dream
In the form of a whirlwind.

—Jim Morrison,

Riders on the Storm!


~~
Alright, c’mon, arise!~~

Magical smog & fumes
beckoned me inside
the boulevard of palaces
Ahh...psychedelic Organism.

Tremulously,
the chandelier falls on me.
I wake up & grab my bottle of whiskey
& Look around!

The scent of
high neuroticism
& low openness
stinks harder in the people.

Reality is repellent.
Dreams are seductive
even as I was dying.

Irrational visions hovering,
dimensions of reflection
off & on, on & off.
The asylum, full of sound minds.    
Dr. Jones, a patient & neurotic.
Milkie offers psychedelics, alcohol,
rotgut, black water & all.
Guitar store stocked with toiletries.

Mad lovers, born yesterday,
to love & walk through hell.
Period blood grotesque beauty,
as good & sweet as nectar.

The road ebbs & flows,
ending & starting like an elevator.
Angels seem like demons,
& demons seem like angels.
Urination & nightmare
the shore between dreams & reality,
assumed as the shore
between oceans & beaches.
Every dream, every dimension—
they all rot the same.
No escape. No exit.
Delay & Reverb of your
own Organism & suffering
begging for something real.

~
Young clothes to age
dissolve & drift beyond the quiet grave
I may not know I may not know
The door with no unlocking key.

Yet still Reality persists
A stream that ebbs & flows
Where Time & Truth collide
& I a wisp upon its shore.

~~

~
She hove into view
drawing near.
We ******
pleasure turned to fire.
I woke
lost in possession
my nod now twisted
into wickedness.

~~
Now,
anything she wants
anything she rules!

~
Anything
~~
Anything

The Unknown Tower
Quiet & deserted.
A way to the top
The elevator hums, rising.

I step out.
I open the door, enigmatic.
I close the door,
Turn the kn⁰b…

Instantaneously
The cold metal snaps in my hand!
I am locked out.

A voice
Deep Inside !
"Have a glance."

Down,
Down, down,
Down,
Down, down…

I peer over the edge—
Acrophobia strikes!

A war ignites between me
& my unknown ‘Someone.’

I hear the voice again
It is not mine.
Or is it?

I scramble, trying to fix the kn⁰b,
But that 'Someone'—
Powerful, cunning—
A puppet master, a gaslighter,
A shadow pulling the strings.

I can’t think anymore!
Thoughts crumble like shredded paper!
Or did ‘Someone’ crush them for me?

"Do a high dive to nowhere!
Do a high dive to nowhere!
Do a high dive to nowhere!"

The voice pounds like a drum.

Drive,
Drive, drive, drive, drive,
Drive, drive,
Drive…

"My bébé, drive."

Once again,
The table is yours.
The table is yours.

Step forward.
Hesitation wanders, the fear of loss.
Look down.
No acrophobia!

The tower does not end.
The fall never stops.

I turn
& there is no door.

Goodbye.
Will you die to find yourself?

Oh, my Love—stab my eyes—
destroy my eyeballs!
Wait No!!
The final solution—stab me instead—
stab this House of breath
until you're sure I'm—dead!

There's a Play
~
There's a play,
& you are the actor.
Sadly,
you don't know the script
or the story to follow.

You still perform
aware or unaware.
It’s an enigma.

Scene by scene,
sequence by sequence,
Drama, suspense, romance,
mystery, tragedy
thrill, horror, adventure,
action...
a floor of diverse genres.

Each performed scene
Hints & Script to the next,
a prelude to another act.

~
Look ahead
what’s coming next?
Are you ready to act?
& remain unpaid?

And then, the intermission...

leading to unfathomable End.~

The End ~~

My Act//Scene of writing this is successfully ended !

The End finally ~~