You gorgeous *******.
I like you.

I have this fantasy where I am driving on the interstate and I am not daydreaming about crashing my car and being killed on impact

I have this fantasy where I have never spent a whole summer covering up my scars

I have this fantasy where I know my body and I am at peace with it

I have this fantasy where I never stopped making art because of what a teacher said to me when I was seventeen

I have this fantasy where I know how to write good poetry

I have this fantasy where I have never fallen in love with too many drug addicts

I have this fantasy where I am sleeping with a stranger for fun and not because I hurt

I have this fantasy where someone knows all the best parts of me

I have this fantasy where someone knows all the worst parts of me

I have this fantasy where I can say “I love you” out loud instead of just writing it down

I have this fantasy where I am giving my whole self to somebody else and they are not asking me for more

it's hard to tell your story
life needs to make at least some sense
to be put into words
words are usually on my side
but in this case
my words are forests where my emotions can hide
in this case
silence
is my only sound

it's hard to open to a stranger
the words
the stories
things happened long ago
how do you tell them?
and what lights do you use

do you want to shine on your own role like
a victor
a victim
a bystander
what's my part of my life?

i answered the answer of why my life is falling apart
with silence
i have nothing to say
but silence masking my pain

Emotion
is a barbed wire fence
and I am an inmate of hostile commotion
and you
are visitation hours
opening up from 3 to 4
and always leaving me wanting more
hung in a noose of suspense
behind that barbed wire fence

My mind is like a war zone but without the ammunition.
The thoughts are like a solider on a search and destroy mission.
The guns are like the process that puts thoughts into my head.
The bullets are like the voices that say they want me dead.
My mind is like a war zone and I’m a prisoner of war.
Serving a life sentence, I can’t take it anymore.
It’s a fight that needs to end, that needs to end right now.
If only I had willpower and if only I knew how.

I was your Cure,
You were my Disease,


I was saving  you,
You were killing  **me.

I want to write your words on my skin
So that they can be fully absorbed
And with me forever.

I love?
Your          POSION
dear one
Because
It numbs mine?!