If you were mine for as long as I wanted you

Then why are you gone with someone else

If you were the first to be my last

Then why am I alone

If you really loved me

Then how could you walk away

I held everything in my hands
Everything I needed
Everything I wanted
But you took it and left me empty
Saying I deserved more
But leaving me with less
Than I had before
I wish we'd never met.

She sat on the edge of the precipe; unbidden tears evidenced by glistening lines on her cheekbones. She stood abruptly and reached over the edge, hoping the hands waiting for her were strong. Leaning forward ever so slightly she brushed fingers with the person waiting. She stretched a little further, grasped tightly, and missed. Tumbling end over end in a dazed confusion she cried out, sure she was lost forever. She saw the ground speeding up to meet her and closed her eyes as she braced for the impact that would shatter the last of her illusions.....but the impact never came. Soft warm arms reached out and embraced her just when all may have been lost. She pried open her eyes just enough to peer through her lashes and see whom had saved her.....and saw herself.

Huddled in the shower
The hot spray mingling with my tears
As I gaze back
Through the shattered years
Trembling and shaking
I saw you today
I ran and hid
Tried to think you away
I thought I was fine
I thought I'd healed
Thought I'd recovered from
The power you used to wield
You stole my sanity
I was just a little girl
Who'd never had a father
When you entered my world
For eons you used me
You dragged me into hell
And when I escaped
I thought I'd get well
Almost two decades
Have came and gone
But today I discovered
My mind is still wrong

I'm not the one that walked away
I'm not the one that stole your smile
I'm not the one that broke your heart
I'm not her

I'm just the girl you met one day
I'm just the girl that stood by your side
I'm just the girl that fell in love
You're just the boy that said goodbye

Because I'm not her.

I just want to let you know
That I am still here for you
I had to let you go
So you could figure out what's true.

You hold my soul within your eyes
I never wanted to love you
You haven't said your goodbyes
And I hope you never do.

Take all the time you need
To figure out what you should do
Ignore my pain as my heart bleeds
I just want what's best for you.

But when you've got it figured out
If you still want me let me know
Please don't give me room to doubt
If I should stay or I should go.