waking up leaves me exhausted
i don’t even have the energy
to want to finish this
what do i have energy for

nothing.

nothing at all

let me decompose
allow me to wipe away the things
that make me want to die

i cannot allow this to eat me alive
today it may win
tomorrow i can try again

u turn parts of me to stone
nothing feels better
than digging for love
from deep inside u

what ***** is
the overwhelming feelings
that i cannot seem to control

chemical imbalance
i cannot seem to get a grasp on this

seeing those
the better ones
always hurts
because I’ll never see in myself
what i can in others

on occasion i may see a glimpse of careless being
never truly believing what i think

i rather show you the pain i feel
as i tear away at your veins
hollowing out your psyche
to wear your face

i can finally be beautiful
just like you

is grieving for a stranger unfair?
it feels wrong to follow suit to causal continuation  
the moon awaits
the stars await
god awaits
the reaper sows
no glory will be to those who live without fear
blessed be to the exalted
dawning to the new age

it’ll subside
you think that you you’ll be fine
you’ll be happy
as long as you can see the sunrise

after
you won’t enjoy the view
you’ll even act surprised
like you didn’t know
you won’t be back for more

no one sees the inside of you
the only things inside me
are empty thoughts, anger and wet dreams
every time it’ll be different
but it’s not
all is the same

i don’t want to lie
even if im embarrassed
im beginning to see the truth
it resides in your eyes

the reflection of myself
it’s beginning to lose power over me
i can’t tell you why exactly

the power you’ve given me
it seems to have rusted your soul
oh what id give
to go back and change that

my soul is drowning
grasping on to what it can to float
freezing slowly as it inches closer to the edge
to shield me from the wrongs within myself

your warmth protects me
it exposes the purity from inside
but how i wish i could protect you too