i wanted you to love me on purpose.

it's okay i know you're busy
i'm just laying down, and every five minutes i
type a text to you
saying something different each time
from
"i love you and miss you!! can i come see you?"
to
"i hate you so much how could you do this to me"
but i don't send any,
because i've already sent two.
and i'm trying to give you the space you deserve.
i want to spill
all my secrets to you.
but more than that, i want  to know all of yours.
so badly,
i want to know all the things that will hurt me
beyond repair.
Having my heart ripped out by you would be
better than having one.

I tried to explain colors to a person who could not see
But I found it was too hard for me.
Then a thought came into my mind
To put their feelings into color and rhyme.

The first question I asked is:
WHAT DO YOU FEEL ABOUT “LOVE”?
“I feel like I’m flying high above the sky”
Then I will call that GREEN
For high above the earth, that color is seen.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
WHEN YOU’RE FEELING “DOWN”?
It’s when I have no one to talk to and no one around.
Then I will call that BROWN.
WHAT ABOUT “SADNESS”?
That is when I lost something that cannot be replaced.
Then I will call that “GREY” for that
Is something which in your heart will stay.
WHAT ABOUT “LAUGHTER”?
That is when my stomach shakes like Jell-O.
Then I will call that emotion “YELLOW”
Then the final question I must ask
WHAT ABOUT GOD?
That is when I am lifted high above
All that I think and feel.
Since GOD is pure, I will call it white
Because he puts your heart and soul into flight.
“ we have enough colors for different emotions
Just like the raindrops that fall into the ocean.
Now the colors no longer have a barrier, because now
It has an emotional carrier.
Emotions and colors go hand in hand, just like the joining
In a wedding band.

The over arching goals of a majority of the world's religions are to be a good person so you will be repaid in the afterlife.
And I can say that I've never had more drive to be a better person each day that I wake up until I fell in love with you.
You are everything I believe in.
You are what I want to commit to.
You are my religion.
You are my church, my place of peace and comfort.
You are my holy book, where I go to for guidance and you keep me on a straight path.
You are my congregation, you hold me up and support me when I need you, and also when I don't.
You are my religion, because you give me purpose.
You are my religion,
And I believe in us.

m.h.

love the boy who paints–
who harnesses the power of the spectrum
and brings life to his views
on the world

admire his colourful fingers
and lead stained hands.
he didn't mean to fray the
brushes like
he frayed your heart strings.

he only wants a little life
in his body and soul.
he paints with you in mind.
and when you see the crumpled up
tubes on the floor
of his bedroom,
know that they reflect
his efforts to make you happy.

My head is heavy
My brain is foggy
only your face is clear
I kiss your cheeks, forehead, lips
I laugh so brightly
Nothing could bring me down in this moment
You are my pinnacle
My love of a lifetime
You bring me joy
but you also bring me pain
once you are gone I feel empty
I crave you again and again
You're addictive, my love
and that can't be healthy
but I couldn't care less
because when I'm with you
I feel high
and happy
and free
And I wouldn't give that up for anything
Because I love what you do to me.

I tried, i tried to stay awake
but the memories keep holding me back
back when i thought of your sweet embrace
pulling me towards, towards uncertainty
i never thought time would lead me
back to the way it used to be

I leave tomorrow.
I leave my love far away.
I leave my house,
My home,
My family,
My friends,
All that's familiar
All that I love
But everyone knows
How the old song goes.

Home is behind
The world ahead
And there are many paths to tread

But that scares the **** out of me.