Sipping on the sweetest of liquors
But poison soon to be
That fuels famous fools and lovers  
with tears of a bitter enemy

Eventually the oldest friends
Will ****** that bottle down
Til throats dry up and tears don't flow
And then we'd rather drown

The man began
once again to question
whether he truly did not love people,
or whether the people
truly did not love him?

<<  ..::Ħɛℓρ::..>>>


                                                           ­                   <<  ..::N̖̥̘͇̯͚͍͝O̶̤̟̟  Ǥ͏͏̨Ѳ̨͜͡Ɖ̵͠ .::..>>





<<..::Ĵʋ̡̢͜ƨ͠͞т͞ ̛͜т̡̢̛н̨ɛ̀ ́̀Ɔ˩̸Ѳ̵́Ɔ̧Ƙ̶ :::...>>








                                            T̶̢̟̩̝̻̬̖̥̪̝̟̰͍̠͇̣͙͋̓͂ͣ́̀ͦ̂͋̀̐̀ͯͥ̍͐̽̀̚͡I̡̧̛̛̲̠̞̖͔̫ͣͮͥ̀ͭ̿Cͩ̂́ͯ̌͗ͫ̚­͔̤͓͈̩̗͈͈̮͓̳̤͉̩̗̤͉͋ͭ͐̏ͣ̽̆̋̍̾̚͜͜ͅĶ̾ͭͫ͗͐̇̓͒̂ͤͨͪ҉̭̜̻̮̻̭͢͠Tͯ̏ͣ̚҉̡̛͎͖͟­̬ͅO͑̓͒̌ͯ̒ͭ͆̇̌͋ͭ͐͏̣͍͓͔͓̲̰̤̙̩̱̩̕C̵̾͗̉҉̨̜̯̗͈̜͚̲̮͠K̢̗͎̪͈̼̽̊̉͗̊͡͡



T­̵̷̧̩̥̻̭̤̻̘̼̯̯̩͚̖̱͈̂̄ͮ̓ͯ̈́̅̈ͪ̏͊͘͢I̶̟͕̦̮͎͇̋̅͌͆̇͘ͅC̸̛̓ͬ̒ͣ̉͆͋҉̜̣̮͇̲͇͟ͅ­̮̥̹K̹͖̹͙̗͈̜̲̺̺͕͎̩̱̝͔̰̬̙ͦ̅̎͘͜͡T͍̳̦̞ͯ̓̌̑͌̔͐̌̇̽̓ͭ̄̋̚͘Ơ̵̭̩͉̂͐̑͊ͬͧͅCͧ­̛̽̄͋̏̍҉̷̜̫̱̙̣̗̟̞͚̻̟̙͓̳̤̜̭̫̦͘K͂͒͛͋͐̃̊ͮ̏́̔̆̄ͨ̚͏̮̜̞̜͓͞


                                            Tͮ̈̊̊͘͏̢͔̺̦̖̭̣͓̥Ï̧̥͇̭̦̝͚̾̐ͭ̋̋̉͆̒̃̚̚͟C̢͕̰̫̫̟̖̞̰̪͇̘̫̣̗̔ͦ̍̈͢͜ͅ­Ḵ̦̬͕̞̹̂͌̏ͤ̋̑͜͟͝T̰͕̩͇̻̭̥̹̤͙͔͙̟̮͍͔͐̓͛͐ͦ̆́̍̄͐̃ͮ̇͟Oͫ̆͛͒̂҉̲͚̼̝̘̰̱̺͕̀͜­̥Č̢̛̱̻̭͔̜̼̼͎̺̙̲͉̖̻̣̳̱͎̳ͧ̾ͣ̉͊K̴̶̴̠̤̭̪̥̣̲̹̲͈̘̦̩̼̳ͧͭ͆ͣͧ͂͑ͫ̆̐́͒́͝


­

             T̵̶̡̺̺̙͍̥̬̩͎͙͓̩̜̘̭̥͉ͨ̓ͤ̂͛͒ͮ̉ͧͨ͒̆̾̄̎ͨ̚͢I̛ͣ͐͛̉͟҉̬̩͎̖̱͢Cͪͣ͊́̿͂̽ͫͮ͊͊͆­̶̞͓͓̳̯̘̳̭̘̼̫͈̬̳̙̰̠̹͞Kͯͭ͗͆̐͒̈́͊͋҉̫͈̻̺͚̱̪̮̭̥̗̣̪̫͖̘͔̭̻͘Ţ̸̖̒͛͛̄ͣ͂̋̌͢͢­͙̩̺͔̩O̩̜̪̬̪̜̰̤̪̳͍̱̊̐̑͂̉ͫͦ̾ͦͧͩ̀̚͘͜͠ͅͅC̴̴̝͈͉̟̒̑ͣͬ͗͊ͦ̌ͮ̽ͯ͗͝͝Ḱ̎͂͊̓ͧ̄­͆ͨ͂̈̿̀ͤ̌͒͂͏̢̗͎̬̻͢

My best laid plans
Are often ephemeral
I attend many a funeral
On raining days with cloudless sky
Soundless mourners try
To hold it together.
Ignore the water gather
On the coffee coloured coffin.
Drops drip down drumming
A hollow, empty sound.
That makes me wonder
What really is inside the coffin.

When the moment arrived
And two possibilities were presented
I took a step back and my look alike
Grasp the reigns and pretended to be me
Through greyscale vision
I saw him deign to stay and walked away
Leaving you behind. Unashamed.
He stood around the corner, watching.
Before leaving for good.

If he had any decency, he would’ve stayed
But he is a victim of empathy deficiency
And I fear he may have even relished
Seeing you so low.
The hellish truth is that maybe something evil
Is embellished in me.
I've got to face it.
I’ve got two faces,
And I don’t know which one is mine anymore.

Oh democracy, isn't it fun?  
It's alright, yeah.
Oh what fun!

Two burns, left wrist
Two more burns, left hand
Two fading slits, left ankle
Easier to deal with, to understand
These six scars...
They are the only ones that I have
Well, the only ones in your eyes
The only ones that were deliberate
Deliberate necessities
There is one on the right side
Of my nose too
But it was accidental
Nothing more than a childish
Slip of the foot
"Sorry, it was just a slip of the tongue"
I need you
I need more
Two more, in precision
(a double incision)
One on the right
And one on the left
"No cesarean for me, thanks"
No life coming out of this body
No matter how beautiful
I could have made you
I would have kept you safe
I promise
I won't let them hurt you
They'll understand
They have to
They have to
They have to
But that's what I thought before
And yet they still don't
Not today, not quite yet
But they have to
And I've been thinking
And drinking
And smoking
And toking
And I do not know
How far I will go
So cut me open
Take what I don't want
Because I do not want this
Remove my heart
You may as well
While you're in there
It's been aching so badly lately
And this is all that I want right now
They will let me do it
They have to
They have to
They have to
They will...
Won't they?
You can not see teardrops
Amongst raindrops
Can not distinguish between
The peaceful and the pained
And I fall, I fall hard
I crash and you feel me, you do
But rain is a friend
Rain is something that I can trust
Something that I can relate to, rely on
Too quiet to be seen as thunder
Too dull to be seen as lightning
Too transparent to be seen at all
From a distance...
You get used to rain after a while
We are known for our weather
(Rain rain go away)
Let the sun shine
So that I can become a rainbow
Cut me open and pull out my heart
Offer it to that planet's glorious rays
Look up at me
Not down on me
And tell me that I am beautiful
Tell me that I mean something
To you
That I mean anything
Because I am not mean
I mean
I love you
I love you
I love you
I try far too hard
You think that I don't try at all
But it's ******* hard
It's SO ******* hard
And I am trying my best
And I am transgender
I am the she / he / whatever
The it
I do not deserve you
But do I really deserve this?
I know that these are not raindrops
I can taste the salt, slowly rolling
And rolling down
And down my face
My tear-stained face
Please tell me that I am worthy
Please let me do this
Please, please, let me do this...
You have to
YOU HAVE TO
I'm not alright
I'm not okay
I'm not alright
I'm not okay
Save me
Fish me out of the ditch
Ditch me halfway through
My transition
LET ME TRANSITION
You have to
You have to
You have to
It hurts
It hurts so bad, oh God
And I'm not getting anything in return
So let me pain myself
Until I can breathe again
With a smile on my face
A smile that will not run in the rain
I am running through the rain
Running away from myself
I am falling, as rain falls on me
And I am crying
I'm not alright
I'm not okay
So let me do this
You have to.. You have.. You..
You will...
Won't you..?
Because I'm not alright
And I'm not okay
I am transparent, I am transitioning
I am transgender
Whether you like it
Or not.