What does it mean to be human?
Does it mean that your body is flesh and bone?
My body is made of plastic.
What are you made of?
What makes a person whole?
Is it fulfillment? Happiness? Soul?
Whatever the case, I am not whole.
Are you?
Are humans intelligent or ignorant?
I am both.
Which one are you?
Are humans kind or wicked?
I do not know which one I am.
Do you know?
Do humans get to choose who they are?
I have tried to mould myself as best I can, into the person I want to be
Have you?
Are you human?
I am, decidedly, not human.
I am that which I do not know of
I am that which I do not wish to discover
I hope never to know who I am.
Who are you?

The black unicorn is greedy.
The black unicorn is impatient.
'The black unicorn was mistaken
for a shadow or symbol
and taken
through a cold country
where mist painted mockeries
of my fury.
It is not on her lap where the horn rests
but deep in her moonpit
growing.
The black unicorn is restless
the black unicorn is unrelenting
the black unicorn is not
free.

The journey I take spirals,
flowing smoothly in parts
as heart opens    

Storms come giving opportunity
to ground and balance.

Footsteps move on surfaces
rocky mountains, beach sands
grass and concrete jungle.

Sometimes, I lie myself down,
surrendering to emotions in clouds of rain.

Other-times, I dance
as if etheric wings spread
across linoleum floors.

Moments build filling bucket-like mind with memories.
Hours cascade inside earths journey staged
in Milky Way galaxy elegantly.

Who is watching? I wonder,
as my left changes to right
and right transforms.

Who is gazing across stars
to get a glimpse of my life
so they learn
to balance hardship with light.

Contours of human landscape change
as visions expand and age takes its toll.

Dawn makes way for day,
and night exposes star beauty.

In perspective, its been a while
since my consciousness broke open
to see light.

Been a while, since I smiled at self
and learned to love.

Guides feed with wisdom in moment.
Self moves over for soul to enter,
as wind blows gracefully.

Now I proceed divinely
in ways never dreamt.
Realign on Highways of choice
where journey meets heart.

Where death is just another chapter
for the new voyage beyond.

I think I shall stay a while
imprinting footsteps
to master my journey,
To see... as tides change
and waves of love anchor.

i want to be pretty
I want to be kind

i want to be loveable

i want to be wanted

instead

i got this ugly face
ugly personality
this ugly body
that makes everyone go away

I want to love myself
but i hate myself

i want to die die die
no i just want to be perfect

I want what she has
i know i never will

what do you see in her
that you cant find in me

you like because
you love despite

and you say you love me
but never despite

you like her because
she is all this and that
i cant be any of those and im sorry

why cant you just love me

well i do hate myself
a lot
so who doesnt give you the right
to hate me too?


its hard to stay sober
from self-hate

its the strongest drug
i’ll ever take

hooked on its bitter taste
hanging by its threads

tangled in its promises
that nothing will be good

for me atleast.

End.

The orchid is flowering
Opening,
a living mandala
Next to my bed
I hear it in my dreams
It's telling me very strange things
About the chemistry between us
And what being a flower really is
And what it really means.

There's a lot to learn.

The orchid whispers in chemical symbols

I danced through the night one night
I drank water in the desert
The sweetest taste, I've ever known
I heard a sound I've never heard before
The buzzing of Chi
Blowing in
while the curtains fluttered
In the night time wind.

Our time I know is limited
Forever wilts away

But while the orchid is flowering
That's for another day

I find myself longing for the scent of the night and at least
One more dream to go.

how can I be so broken
from something that has never been there in the first place

how can I be so broken
from someone who wasn’t even mine in the first place

I want a cloud
in my glass
are you laughing
what is nonsense
understand
like life