I am green and wild
You are blue and vague
And together
We make the earth.


F.Z.N

You were always on the tip of your toes,
balancing on thin air,
positioning your center
of mass directly over the
base of your support circle,
edging your way from point
A to point B as you objectified
the manner of manipulation,
and yet I still managed to fall for you.
And you, *you were always on the tip of my tongue,
but when you asked if
I would be there for you
if and when you fall,
I lost my footing.
For the reason that
you meant it in a way that
would associate me as a form of webbing,
a safety net per se and I watched you
walk on thin air for years, but I will not
wait for you to fall because I’m here for you
as a friend, not a cobweb.

© Matthew Harlovic

The boy dreamt of his father,

Between boys and men such
impossible expectations,
joyful boys with rumpled
hair crying for attention
Heart bursting to be
            the little man.

'Daddy, look at me, I am just like you'

Men slipping away their emotional
core, resisting temptation to display
the love they have for their boys.
Holding fast to important things,
to work and career, making money
and cutting the grass. Taking care
                       of things, like a man.

'Daddy, look at me, I am just like you'


Such distance between boys and men,
flowers grow faster than emotions.
Expectations and demands, alliances
and situations to be addressed.
Locker room jokes, tenderly
pretending feelings are for
'sissies'. Rugged role playing,
modelling behaviour of the
       tipped arrow of society.

'Daddy, look at me, I am just like you'

Things have changed, they will tell you.
Men can feel now. But we men, we
know the truth. The stereotype is
      still pervasive and controlling.

A man must be strong.
A man must be brave.
A man must not love unless
                    he is getting laid.

'Daddy, look at me, I am just like you'

'Daddy, were you ever scared and alone like me? '

There once was a boy, well an usher, in truth
who had worked long hours, lack of sleep was the proof.
It was a quaint little spot, never left an impression,
but customers were lively, while in line for concession.

It was always full of people, conversations were numerous,
but the usher was always so down, he never found one humorous.
The theater was packed, full of laughter and grins.
but the noise was so loud that his patience wore thin.

Among the crowd and chatter was a man,
a simpleton at best, balding and in need of a tan,
who presented his ticket to the usher
with such joy that no one could understand.

The usher greeted him, but his curiosity got the best of him.
"Excited for this film?", the usher asked him.
"Oh I'm killing some time but thank you for asking".
The usher wondered why the man was so excited.

"I'm going on a date with my beautiful wife,
the most wonderful woman I've met in my life.
Lobster ravioli in Rosée with wine,
that is always her favorite when we go out and dine."

"Sounds delicious", said the usher, finally cracking a smile.
No customer had shown so much excitement in a while.
“I should have enough time to get her a gift,
but on to the movie so enjoy your shift.”

As the man walked into the theater, the usher had a refreshed start;
he had that man to thank for bringing life to his heart.
As the movie finished running, the man left in a hurry.
The usher thanked the man for coming,
“Gotta go - it’s past 6:30!”

A boy walks towards the usher, asking if he’s seen a man.
He described him the same, “Balding, needing a tan.”
"The movie had finished around 6:40.
He’s going on a date-"
The boy stops him.
“He told you that story?”

The usher, clearly confused, nodded his head.
The boy wasn’t happy, but worried instead.
“That man is very ill, and I'm sorry for the confusion.
He tells people this tale as his mind rests on delusion.”

The usher is stunned, almost demands to see proof,
alas the boy doesn’t hesitate to tell him the truth.

The last time the man saw his wife,
he reserved two for eight,
But then something odd happened-
she never showed for that date.

Her body became ill, and also weakened her soul,
so she lost that great battle around three years ago.
When she begged "let me die", he contested, said no,
and his mind ever since has refused to let go.

The usher then asks, "then where is he going tonight?"
"Well his loss is a truth that his mind always fights."
He orders a glass of wine, while also clutching the menu.
And he's there often enough that he's a regular at the venue.

So he waits two hours, maybe less, maybe more,
while he prays to his maker that she walks through the door.
He later goes home to sleep, her absence never how it seemed,
and is convinced the next morning it was all just a dream.

Again, and again, he reserves two for eight,
with his heart tricking his mind to prepare for his date.

“I could tell him the truth,
but I choose not to bother,
I can’t bear to see that pain again,
in the eyes of my father.”

That man is this boy’s father! That man lost his wife!
He’s sacrificed three whole years of his life.
Spring never came for him, winter woes with his wife up above,
but this was tragic evidence of unconditional love.

So his joy was imprisoned like a caged bird once free.
The usher’s heart broke in two
for the man who'd lost three.