We were misfits
the neglected *******
of a backwards world
that rejected us
not because we were sick
demented or dangerous
but because we didn't prescribe
to a preconceived notion
of what a functioning citizen was.

Not rotten enough to spoil
behind the bars of a prison
just competent enough
to work menial jobs
and drown our sorrows
at the corner pub.

We swallowed this hard truth
the same way we drank our shots
with no chaser
and at times it burnt
maybe even made us tear up
but we never let it beat us
(too strong for that)

We were beautiful
resilient beasts
that could carry the weight
of the world upon our shoulders
and it was heavy
but we would tell ourselves
"doesn't every world need an atlas?"
so we went on holding up the sky
when no one asked it of us.

If I wrote you a love poem
would you clam up in choking modesty,
embarrassed by the still raw love that's been cooking but is yet to be served.

If I wrote you a poem of friendship,
would you retreat back into solidarity,
annoyed at the bluntness of my open soul.

If I wrote you a poem of mourning,
would you fill with resentment
at my supposed plea for pity

If I wrote you a poem of joy
would you counteract the skip in my step with a lag in yours
because enthusiasm is corny in large amounts

And if I wrote you a poem of desire
Would you avert all eyes back to the screen
because Romeo and Juliet is a bit outdated
and imagination has fled from the heart and away from its sensory outlets

Or…

If I wrote you a love poem
Would you beam with a smile that radiates from your eyes and cheeks and shoulders and knees
Because you need all the passerby to know of our love, wordlessly..shamelessly..

If I wrote you a poem of friendship
would you deliver me my favorite coffee,
pick me up to go on a road trip to anywhere

If I wrote you a poem of mourning,
would you hold me and give me the smiles and hugs
that I am temporarily and humanly void of..

If I wrote you a poem of joy,
Would you let my spirit set fire to yours
So we can dance around like idiots aimlessly

And if I wrote you a poem of desire,
would your body tingle and feel like its never felt before,
unsatisfied until our legs and tongues and hearts are entwined

Or am I too Disney?

With one night stands and sleep arounds
the social stigma is reduced to grounds
that begin with coffee one malnutritioned morning
and end with morals being left at the pound
independence isn't what anyone has found

There sticks a match within my chest
I believe you have one too
And once life leads us to unrest
We must decipher what with these matches we’ll do

I sought so long to find a cure
for this unjust worlds cold wrath
One day Defeats own bold brochure
lured me down life's darkest path

Lo’ and behold He found me there
in the center of the forest
My God, my savior, trudged through iced air
and breathed hope back into my chest

He said “Dear child i’ve found you here,
orphaned by societies cruel gamble
Alas, your frown shall disappear
just take my love, my peace, come amble”

It landed bold within my heart,
I didn't know what hit me
A flame of passion, an exuberant art
Lit that match and I was set free

My fire from Heaven glowed and thrived
I fed it day and night
Off of healthy morals and faith it survived
I loved Gods people with all His might

But as we know, all habits fade
The best ones lose their aim
Money, success, my employment grade
Drowned my fire into a mere flame

God gave me the tools to build it strong
Once again said “take these blessings”
But the snake in the garden told me “He’s wrong,
His rule is the reason you’re stressing”

It was in that instant that spite cracked down
And darkness came again
A coat of fury stole Gods crown
My fire fell low to the Devils own den

I wish to this day I had not been fooled
For Love had such an amazing plan
He tried to warn me but in my mind I ruled
into the open arms of darkness directly I ran

That's why my friends
I'm telling you this story
The deep fire pits of hell
All began with a match struck of glory

A jihad is raging between the ground and the sky
And i’ll tell you the sun always wins
But if you brand your shield with the serpents cry
You’ll stand forever on scorched feet while the devil grins

There sticks a match within my chest
I believe you have one too
And once life leads us to unrest
We must decipher what with these matches we’ll do

"Dear God,

I know that I've made some mistakes lately.
I know that I've done things I shouldn't do and said some things that didn't represent you..
But today is a day that begins anew and I have found some things to offer to you.

Today, I give you my responsibility.
I vacuumed and dusted, and paid out some bills.
Sent emails, made phone calls, and to go out with a ****..
I took out the garbage and vacuumed my floor.
I've never given you that before.

Today, I give you my focus
I sat down and read, for an hour or two
On adventure, on love, and a bit about you.
I wrote that **** paper and although it was painful,
I sat there like a drone and watched History Channel

Today dear God , I give you my game plan,
For I've made one just for you.
In ten years i’ll be in California with a child or two
I’ll have a nice house and a flawed but beautiful spouse
A cross on each wall to prevent a downfall in our habits of worship to you

In five years i’ll be married and i’ll have a career
at a  giant corporation where I get to steer
where my life is going and the number on that check
this will easily prevent me from becoming a wreck

In two years dear God i'll have finished up school,
got the perfect degree and a pedigree smile on my face in
that green and gold graduation photo i’ll be running a race that I am ready to win

Today I give you the love in my life
I've got you a man that should suit us right
He is gentle but strong and there's only a few slight things wrong but
He believes in you and I cant really wait around for much longer..
So I got him for you

So I know that I've made some mistakes lately.
I know that I've done things I shouldn't do and said some things that didn't represent you..
But today is a day that begins anew and those are some wonderful things that I've prepared for you

So why am I sitting alone in my room lost and confused and unable to move
because i'm consumed in my sobs of failure….

What did I do?"

And when you didn't answer I gave up on listening and sank into my bed…
That was when you  decided to speak and said “Child rest your head
on me.”
I see what you've done and I see what you've made and  its lovely, but in substance
it is merely a charade of how you’re supposed to be
You forgot one small creed child its so simple indeed..
just one small question you needed to ask me before your life was freed..

And that was “Dear God, what is it that you need?”

SO I say to you dear child that all I ever wanted was you.

I love your responsibility, your focus and hope,
I understand that you wanted a man to help you cope
but surrender to me and you will finally see
that blind faith is what blossoms young seeds into trees.”

So I sat there and sobbed some more.
Then I got down on my knees and prayed.
Then I stood up and reached for the sky and said "Dear God,
I know that I've made some mistakes lately.
I know that I've done things I shouldn't do and said some things that didn't represent you..
But today is a day that begins anew and I know this is a bit delayed,

but today, I give you myself.
I’m no Hercules and I can’t offer much  
but i’m loving and caring and in need of such guidance from you my lord
I give you my life at the tip of a sword *** I know you’ll take it with care and guide me with your word.
You created me with purpose and with purpose you’ll lead
me to where I am truly supposed to be
I surrender me."