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Madeline Frosh Jan 2015
i want nothing to do with you
the way your bones once held mine
i wish they would all fall apart
collapse at the sight of me
independent
melt into mine like they once did
wake up and realize the sensations were real for once
it wasn't a dream you woke up from
but that you and i never fell asleep at all
awake
lost
deep in thought
too stubborn to realize whats in front of us
dropping on hands and knees
screaming why
my hand is held out to you
but this is long overdue
i don't know what else to do
just grab on already its been long enough
swallow your pride
and for once
we can finally say that we're where we want to be
just like always
you'll turn and take it as a joke
and leave me tangled undone
(Jan 9, 1:07 pm)
Madeline Frosh Jan 2015
Time erases time defaces
You and I were endless like the sea
Such galaxy
Escapes my subliminal thought
I can't grasp it like the way I couldn't
     grasp you
Your soul
Running on the loose in search of
     a home
A body to reside where my fingers
     have not lain
Rampant through the streets touching
     where the sidewalk ends
Where our hearts met and corrupt the
     virtues of the innocent romantics
Screams into the night traversing the
     foreign cities' walls
Bouncing from side to side
At least I could say I tried
We at least thought you didn't die
(Jan 8, 11:52 pm)
Madeline Frosh Jan 2015
I came over to tell you that I've done everything I can
to get over you
maybe drinking myself into a hospital bed
smoking myself towards a cliff
and overdosing into the shower
     were not the best ideas.
but I couldn't think of anything else
to stray my thoughts away from you
You've been something of an imprint to my mind,
and truly I wish you would disappear from any memory
I've ever held of you or in relation to you
Your eyes were supposed to look into mine on that day,
and tell me
forever
not cut this short for her.
Someone who doesn't know what happy is with you;
dancing in the kitchen until our feet are swollen
we have to lay in bed, undress,
and stare at the features the other has.
Wrap and tangle in the sheets,
but not make love with our bodies,
but with our eyes
Happy is seeing you push your hair out of your face,
so you have a clear and distinct route to my lips.
We were supposed to be stronger than the house we've built,
and according to you whats a house without a foundation?
but whats a house without a home
and for you, home was always with me
what the **** are you doing
(Jan 4, 11:08 pm)
Madeline Frosh Jan 2015
Drunk words are sober thoughts
But my mind hasn't been working since
     you left
And the drums that usually pound in
     my ears have grown silent
Not even the thoughts in my sleep
     have allowed me to succumb to
     such things
Like dreams of you, or us, or anything
     revolving around the way your
     fingers danced down my spine to
     put me to bed
But the poison that is alcohol has
     brought my speech to a new level
Words spewing out of my mind, into and
     out of my mouth making reference
     to the way you held my body
     late in the night
And I'm sorry for texting you at 3am on
     a monday night, but ******* it
     you were the most beautiful
     human being to ever cross my
     path
And for that I thank you for sending
     my expectations through the
     roof of a home that we
     will never call our own
Madeline Frosh Jan 2015
You're a poison and I can't get you
out of my veins
Infecting specifically my mind and heart
I wish I could just end all of this
But that would mean you winning this battle
and I refuse to succumb to such to such a sickness,
When she is the driving factor behind
all of your actions.

Infestation of the mind, they said
mind over matter, I tried to remind myself
But what really mattered at this point was
getting my body to be one with yours again.
Cardiac arrest, they said
love conquers all, I tried to remind myself
Your words and ignorance managed to
put my heart to rest better than any of the
self inflicted pain and anxiety that occurred
while you left sporadically, and as you pleased.

Slow and steady wins the race
Slowly but surely you took pieces of my heart,
and showered them onto the ground like shreds
of confetti you threw in celebration
of a new life without me.
(Jan 1, 10:28)
Madeline Frosh Jan 2015
i threw out my sneakers i last walked
to your house in
only because i couldn't have the remembrance
of such a cold time
it's mid winter
     christmas
          and i am trudging my way through
               this snow
                    traversing my way across towns
                         in order to see your face
i think i have lost my soul along the way
and when you open the door it will be
like seeing a pale ghost
     except with rose cheeks, and a heart
as broken as the ornament you've just
dropped at our feet when you opened the
door and saw my face
(Dec 25, 3:25 pm)
Madeline Frosh Jan 2015
A feeling of cold was sent through
my body.
It wasn't just the winter frost
settling in.
Or the fact that I am homeless on Christmas
because my family is broken
beyond repair.
My body went cold and a stinging went
straight to my chest because it
was then I realized you
were no longer home
to me.
You turned and saw me with my
head down.
And now looking back I wish I could have
seen the emotion your eyes took on
when they cascaded over my
eroded body.
All I saw was the way your hands held hers.
How you stared into her eyes like you have
never seen something so
beautiful.
Like the sunshine was her face and the comets
that shoot through our heavenly skies were
her eyes.
You left me in the dark to go star gaze.
And I wish I could have seen something more
important than a light saying to
stray away in the
midnight sky.
(Dec 24, 12:15 pm)
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