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 Jan 2020 Little Bear
Leiah
sometimes I forget who I was before I met you
Because after you I didn’t want to be me anymore.
And I was dumb because I believed you when it was really
always just "I love you until I find the next best thing"
your face was always flushed from sprinting and I still want to know
If the breathlessness; the ache to your lungs was worth the chase
you always said the next best feeling always seemed miles away;
I’ll never forget the smell of candy melted saccharine
Something sugar sweet drips from your lips
I asked you what euphoria tastes like and you didn’t answer.
I guess that means it was better than me
And I hope it was but
at least I was real

And you know, I guess the truth is, I still think about you every day
And I don’t mean this in a cliche
Pink and glitter heart shaped box; superficial romance kind of way
I mean I still think about you every day
When I roll my sleeves down to hide scars
that I can still picture your face behind and
I still think about you every day because its winter
And the sun is suffocated by overcast clouds;
The way the world was when you were around.
I wish that I had cared enough,
to mention once or twice

That what I wanted now has changed,
old virtues turned to vice

The past left misbegotten,
and future long disclaimed

The present what I’m running from
—its hourglass in flames

(Villanova Pennsylvania: January, 2020)
 Jan 2020 Little Bear
M Vogel
Wild
 Jan 2020 Little Bear
M Vogel

Untethered at times
but, only in short
spurts do you sprint.

I see you,  grazing the
sweetgrass-edges, green and lush;
such a perfect circle
you carve--

Peg, spiked in dry dirt;
the clanking hobble, has you
starved.

Dragging chain, uprooting succulents
scraping bare the dry ground
while beautiful, unfenced;  is
the grassland-  all around

You were built to be wild, love..  

    Wild.

Sad eyed lady of the harbor, standing on the shores of time, with the rhythms flowing through your hair like the washed up colors of a thousand songs in syncopated rhyme.  
     I’ll build myself a castle with the borders of the sky, to stand with you forever till the reason is swept aside, and we all live together like integrated minds.
 Jan 2020 Little Bear
Lyn-Purcell
My                                              
heart is                                                  
A LANTERN                                              
Inside, lives a                                              
fae                                                  
♡         ­                                       
g                                          
e                   ­                 
n                                      
t                       ­                       
l                                                
e                                          
♡                                
a                          
  ­   n                                
      d                        ­                  
      ♡                                       ­             
s                                                  ­  
w                                              
e                                        
e                     ­             
t                                        
♡                                                      

                  With
                   bright wings
                     G L I T T E R I N G
                     with love, life and
                     hope
                    ♡
                 f
           o
           r
                 ♡
                         p
                             e
                             a
                       c
                 e
                     ♡

As                    
I grow,                
S H E  R E M A I N S              
youthful, timid,              
safe                
♡              
a        
f      
r        
a                
i                  
d       ­     
♡    
t
     o

f        
l              
y          


                                        She
                   ­                     spent days
                                          JUST  CRYING
     ­                                     feeling so lost
                                          Hurt
             ­                             ♡
                                  ­        I
                                               '
                                                     m
                                                      ♡
       ­                                             s
                  ­                             o
                                        ♡
                     ­          s
                             o
                                    r
                                          r
                    ­                              y
                                 ­                   ♡

                                           ­                             The
                                ­                                         summer
                                                          ­                OF HER HEART
                                                           ­                  became winter
                                                          ­                bleak
                                           ­                            ♡
                                                               ­                 a
                                                                ­                     n
                                                               ­                   d
                                            ­                            ♡
                                   ­                            c
                                                             o
                                                               ­   l
                                                            ­                d
                                                                ­                   ♡

                        But
                       with time
                          SHE MANAGED
                        to pick herself
                       up
                      ♡
                  a
                  ­ n
                           d
                                  ♡
                           ­               h
                                        e
      ­                           r
                          ♡
              p
      e
          n­
                 ♡

With                        
the help                        
O F  O T H E R                        
fellow Kings and                        
Queens                      
♡                    
t              
h          
a              
n                        
k         ­                         
♡                                      ­    
y                                      
o                                
  u                        
♡  ­        
s
       o
       ♡
m    
u              
c                
h        


                   You                                                              ­    
all have                                              
A D D E D   TO                                            
my heart's inner                                              
flame        ­                                        
♡                                              
a                                                          
n   ­                                                       
d                                                      
♡       ­                               
h                            
o  ­                      
p                              
e                               ­       
s                                        
♡                     ­           

       Winds                                                            ­              
blow, wings                                                            ­      
NOW FLUTTER                                                          ­        
I'm ready to                                                               ­   
fly                                                              ­  
♡                                                                ­
s                                                              
i                                                      
d                                                
e                                                
♡                                                          
b                                                               ­ 
y                                                              ­  
♡                                                          
s    ­                                            
i                                                  
d            ­                                              
e                 ­                                                   ♡
I'm back!
So sorry everyone, the last few weeks have been... a strain on me.
I am still doing my media course and all, but mentally and emotionally,
I was slipping down into a dark place. My sleeping patterns have been messed up, my nerves have been completely out of control, my self-doubt, anxiety and depression drained me so much that I found it really hard to write, so I needed time to gather myself. It was so hard for me to pick up a pen. To do anything. My smiles were hollow and I just felt so lost.

I just wanted to apologise, I didn't mean to worry anyone. I'm truly touched by the out-pour of support for me. I got so many messages asking if I was alright. I can't express how much that warmed my heart. I'm so used to people being angry at me for my silence that it usually scares me to come back. By nature, with everything I've experienced, it's made me more and more of an isolationist. To all of those people, truly, thank you so so much for staying and just being kind to me...
Really. Thank you T-T
And thank you to all my followers, old and new.
245 followers... I can't even... T-T
I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record but thank you.
I'm back now, and I'm feeling better.
It's easier to hold my pen so I will resume spilling my ink.

I'll continue the Masked Bard on Thursday, I'm free the whole day.
I have no idea of my schedule the coming week.
Again, I appreciate everyone one of you.
Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.
Thank you for staying with someone like me.
With much love,
Lyn ***
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