lins - Hello Poetry

lins Jan 2018

lukewarm

I don’t feel too much,
of anything really.

I’m not really sad,
haven’t cried in a while.

I’m not really happy,
never getting excited.

Body and mind just living,
zoned out not focusing.

A human surviving,
but never enjoying life.

Not quite numb,
not yet anyways.

I don’t want that point to come,
but what can I do?

#lukewarm #depression #numb

lins Jan 2018

ink

permanent
ink engraved in flesh
a word to never forget

listen

an action and a reminder
a constant memory
to be the best you
you always need to

listen

black on the wrist
mother’s cursive
always remember
for all eternity

listen

#listen #tattoo #mother #remember

lins Jan 2018

unnerved by...this

the anticipation is ridiculous
I don’t even know why I’m anxious
I want to see you so bad
hug you and touch you

is it okay to hug you?
is it alright to touch you?
do I need to hide my smiles?
I don’t know how to act around you

the last time we saw each other in person
we hugged and you kissed me
we both know it’s nothing
but hearing you say it

over
and
over

do you really dislike me?
do you really have regrets?
its okay if you do
but we don’t have to talk about it

again
and
again

I’ll admit
I’m nervous
how will we act?
how will you act?

ugh I am so nervous
about seeing you
standing right in front of me
smiling like you do

Not my best but at least it’s out there.

#friendship #awkward #new #different #nervous

lins Jan 2018

good and bad

you drive me insane
every word you speak
grips at my heart one way or another

#you

lins Jan 2018

its a war

empty
tired but wide awake
tears leak down my cheeks
but don’t have the energy to cry

lonely
flooding my mind
getting pulled into this pit
of everlasting discontentment

sad
warm behind my eyes
not about anything specific
but about everything at once

done
physically pained
mentally exhausted
tired of this ongoing battle

#depression #lonely #loneliness #sad #battle

lins Dec 2017

peace

I thought I was dreaming.

Everything was here.
Present as the sun.
Nothing torn apart.
Nothing come undone.

The world seemed right.
But somehow wrong.
I thought I knew truth.
Thought I knew where I belong.

Peace covered me.
Like a cotton quilt.
The world appeared frozen.
No harm had been built.

For once I felt good.
My mind at peace.
Nothing could hurt me.
No evil beast.

The beast of greed.
Of hatred and hurt.
Was far away.
Buried under the dirt.

My mind was resting.
For once in my life.
A moment of safety.
A dull edged knife.

The knife of survival.
The knife of the flesh.
Would strike once again.
And the wound would be fresh.

#peace #safety #dreams #whole #life #safe

lins Dec 2017

true north

lost

where am I?
I’m here

lost

I can’t see myself
there’s no more reflection

where am I going?
I’m still right here

lost

lost

only I can find me
I don’t want to be lost anymore

I am here

#lost #confused #finding #self #aware