a feeling
a beating heart

what more could be said about it

so sudden
so simply sweet

and that’s where we left it

with words
with glances

that could not foretell

the beauty
the sweet surprise

and together

we fell

i don't really know what's it like
to fall in love
i thought i was in love
until i saw you with her
and it didn't really hurt that much
i didn't really feel anything at all
and i haven't since then
i've just been just kind of numb
and i'm starting to see
i know exactly what it's like to fall in love
it's falling out i haven't quite gotten yet.

*i.c.d

tattoos poked into my upper thighs read “DAD” “MOM”

i am a ghost of the girl in the photograph hanging in the same place same wall same house

i touch myself in my bedroom i think of him tonight, another tomorrow

casual ***, *******

i’m not your little girl

i’m not their little girl

i belong to no one i drift i fall

into the arms of someone who does not love me

out of the arms of DAD and MOM

i see in their eyes they worry they look into mine

measure the size of my pupils tonight wonder if i look dull cause i’ve been getting high again

or if i’ve succumbed to another bout of depression

maybe they know me at least they think they do but

how could they have me figured out

when the ?person? i am and the person i was

haven’t been acquainted since i turned from

DAD and MOM to

the things that came with being 19?

I'm nineteen.  I don't know where to go.  What path to take?
I'm strong yet scared of people.
I'm fearless but I'm afraid to talk.
I have my strong thoughts.
I have my will. But I am afraid.  I don't know where to go.

He's 23; got his 30M and his own factory.
He's 22; got his own factory inaugurated by the president.
They're in their 20's.  Their bringing in a big chain of a foreign franchise to our country.  
They're young.  They are meeting with the big bosses of hotels.

Back to me.
Here I am.  I'm nineteen.  Where do I go now?

It will never be me that he chooses
It will never be me that he wants
That's why I left
Because I couldn't take it anymore
Knowing he had so much of my heart
And I had so little of his....