I could once feel the softness of your face
upon my lips
and fingertips
when I closed my eyes

I inhaled as we kissed 'goodbye'
to hold onto a part of you
hoping and praying
it would remain within me
after you had gone

The taste of you upon my lips
soon faded,
now there's nothing left
except misty moments, few memories
and a deep ache that I'd miss
if it left

Do we have the same memories?
I wonder.
Do you even have room for them anymore?

Memories of you and me,
the me and you
that never was

I keep cutting windows into my cardboard walls
Square-shaped snapshots of sunshine
They remind me that there is a world outside
Of my dark and dusty paper cage

I don't bother with panes of glass
(I do not want to see my cold reflection)
But instead I leave the gaping holes wide open
And try to remember the taste of fresh air

We still call the homeplace mom's
Calendar in the kitchen unchanged

Two years past
The old clock ticking

Branches tapping against a window
Iron Mountain through frozen rain

Like a silverback
White along the spine
Cold and silent

Strong against another winter.

r ~ 2/2/15

If you creep into my lair
No treasures will you find
Instead, a book just sitting there
With a weathered broken bind.

Softly run your hands over my cover
Feel my hard rough back
See my pages one after another
Untouched and thrown off track.

Flip me over
Read my words and never put me down
Turn each page and wonder
What more can be found.

Sink deeper into my warming heart
And take time to read with care
Be gentle, please don't tear me apart
Because I showed you everywhere.

Get lost between all my chapters
And don't stop until we're done
We may not have happily ever afters
But you're my only one.

She’ll be lovely. You’ll be able to count the spaces in between her ribs. She’ll have thin skin and it’ll be so easy to drive her crazy with just a single touch. It’ll be easy to make your mark on her, too. She’ll bruise easy and love it. She’ll think it’s beautiful.

2. She won’t ever be expensive on dates because all she’ll order is a salad. You’ll never have to worry about her ordering an expensive steak. You might have to worry about emergency room bills when she passes out, but she’ll never ask for anything else. All she’ll want is ***** and sleeping pills.

3. She will always put you first. Your needs always come before hers because she was raised “God first, others second, I am third”. She’ll make you hot chocolate and drive to your house at 3 AM with pizza she won’t eat, even though she’s dead tired and all she wants is a good night’s rest. You can count on her to be there.

4. She will tell you that you are perfect. She’ll believe it, too. Everyone around her seems to be perfect and she’s drowning under the weight of mediocrity but it’s ok as long as you know how perfect you are.

5. She’ll always have scissors and pencil sharpeners on hand. The knives in her kitchen are always sharpened to perfection and if you forget your razor at home, it’s ok. She has extras in her closet.

6. She’ll ******* anytime you want. As long as you don’t look at her while she’s getting undressed, she’ll love you until she can’t breathe anymore. She’ll smile as you kiss her thighs because you’re the only one that makes her feel beautiful.

7. Date a girl who hates herself because she’ll love you.