As I
Tell the story
Of how I learned
To hate this very place

It 4:19 and I should be sleeping
     But here I am, sitting up. Thinking
It's 4:20,
     and yet I am still drinking
It's 4:21,
      I miss the smell of your clothes
It's 4:22,
       Where did you go when I needed you most?
It's 4:23,
       Why did you leave me all alone
It's 4:24,
        The time is moving slowly, it makes everything that much more lonely
It's 4:25,
        And I have nothing else to say
It's 4:26,
        I don't even want to know why you walked away.
It's 4:27,
        Goodnight sweet friend

I met a friend
Who handed me a pen
And told me, "write"
To write about what gave me life,
That spark of unwavering light

I met a friend
Who handed me a piece of paper
And told me, "create"
To create things
That'll make your bones shake

I met a friend
Who gave me the best advice
He said to be true to myself
And everything will be all right

you rise from the ashes
the tumultuous sea
a new bird, born again
like a summer's breeze

An upright abutment in the mouth
of the Willis Avenue bridge
a beige Honda leaps the divider
like a steel gazelle inescapable
sleek leather boots on the pavement
rat-a-tat-tat best intentions
going down for the third time
stuck in the particular

You cannot make love to concrete
if you care about being
non-essential wrong or worn thin
if you fear ever becoming
diamonds or lard
you cannot make love to concrete
if you cannot pretend
concrete needs your loving

To make love to concrete
you need an indelible feather
white dresses before you are ten
a confirmation lace veil milk-large bones
and air raid drills in your nightmares
no stars till you go to the country
and one summer when you are twelve
Con Edison pulls the plug
on the street-corner moons     Walpurgisnacht
and there are sudden new lights in the sky
stone chips that forget you need
to become a light rope a hammer
a repeatable bridge
garden-fresh broccoli two dozen dropped eggs
and a hint of you
caught up between my fingers
the lesson of a wooden beam
propped up on barrels
across a mined terrain

between forgiving too easily
and never giving at all.

I wish you’d kiss away my tears
Wish you’d open my lips
The way you have
Every intricate part of me
And steal your name
Right off my lips
Right out of my mouth
Until all thats left of me
Is this drunken desire
To drink to forget
Your
Name

And I will rise again.