I see life in grey,
Where black does not stand alone without white,
Where the melanin of my skin does not factor as to how society sees me,
Where Mother’s language that rolls from my tongue is never labeled.


The only struggle I should face is between the relationships
I try to mount
...between pen and paper
…between my head and my heart.
Where common sense should trump any and every stereotype,
Where the only thing foreign is the knowledge I am yet to acquire,
Or the journeys I am yet to trudge upon.


Borne of the soil that bears some of the greatest fruits,
I am one of Her many blessings,
An Afrikan princess that is still rising to her majestic throne,
That seeks to reign over a land united
Behind the death of the rainbow;
The rebirth of decolonialism.
And casts all children of the corn of these chains,
Golden bronze bonds
That continue to enslave the people of true liberty, and prosperity.
The liberty that ascertains that no man shall ever be consumed
By their hunger for superiority.

For

I AM because WE ARE!

Confidence is found from self-awareness,
The more you discover yourself,
The more love you devote to your self-worth.

I didn't change I just woke up
Zoomed in my soul for a close up

So many years it was all wrong
Inside my own body I didn't belong

I succumbed to the fear filled in the air
I acted right and never missed a prayer
I played it safe with great effort and care
But all I could feel was constant despair
Playing it safe was getting me no where

Then one moment that was just like any other
Beauty I never thought I'd discover
I realized my soul was my greatest lover

It's hard to explain how this inner peace feels  
or the type of sensations that it starts to reveal

But you find that the common desires are fake
Distractions that keep you from being awake
We are so scared we might make a mistake
We don't even realize our journeys at stake

If we can just master how to let go
Never stop learning. continue to grow
Let go of everything you may think you know
Rid of the excess and you start to glow

The only peace we can ever afford ourselves is from within...
The moment you start speaking things into existence,
The sooner you can find that peace

I wish talking to you was easy like a Sunday morning:
the mumbling and anxiety replaced with the scent of coffee and warmth,
the silence filled with my favourite people, sharing laughs and thoughts; bad television providing the backing track to our slumped breakfast.

I wish I looked at myself the way I look at you,
my eyes adopt a hazed film of adoration while they explore your every feature;
my eyes close and tears begin to stain my cheeks while they notice a new blemish, tainting my skin's purity,
piling on top of 16 years worth of insecurity.

I wish you were my medicine.
the only relief you provided was your manipulation,
you managed to intertwine your filthy little lies into my heartstrings and pluck at them whenever you wanted to and I let you.
silly girl.

I never knew how you felt.
you were ice cold, but I liked the shudder that shot down my spine when your hands met my waist.
your mystery pulled me closer, drew me in.

your lips always felt so absent.
I knew in the way you kissed me that you didn't want me the way I wanted you,
I was your entertainment
your 'she's there so I may as well'
I meant nothing to you while you meant everything to me.

three months ago,
hearing those words would have killed me.
those words would have snuck their way onto the backs of my eyelids and sat there as a reminder every time I blinked, cried, slept.
they would be the undertone of every word I said, every word I wrote
they would've eaten me alive.

look at me now.
that part of me disintegrated a long time ago,
although, that part of me was what kept the butterflies in my stomach alive and I do miss that feeling.
I miss the feeling of loving someone.
but with love comes pain and I don't know if I could have carried on living with that excruciating sensation.
look at me now.
I don't care anymore,
the tears that used to fall for you have found their balance.

of course I want to adore and to be adored;
but I'm afraid I'll only adore and will never be adored.
you ripped my life out of me, used it as your punching bag and forced it into my throat and expected my bruises to be faint,
those bruises shine a blinding violet.

sometimes I miss you and the feelings,
but I know I deserve more.
heartbreak is inevitable,
that, I know for sure.

~T.T

There is not a sign on my back saying "kick me".
Therefore there is no invitation to do so.
What about that is so hard to understand?
The world will probably never know.
We let others play their games and
Maybe when they've grown up,
The might feel the same pain they put us through.