As I bathe upon the serenity
Of the night with silence echoing
In my innocence as it brings
Fathomless piercing words of reality

In this unspoken massive universe
Of relentless wonders and questions
Where are we to lay our fragile hearts?
Where passion and goodness be in fruition

The goodness of the world tells us
The illusion of being our own
And the love that had brought us to be
Was made to become throwing stones

The beauty of the world shows us
Of how and what beauty should be
And the fairness that dwells in each of us
Was bounded to a certain degree

The peace of the world longs for us
To sing melodies of freedom
But the grandeur of our songs
Was corrupted by hate and its kingdom

Now where are we to lay our hearts
In the vastness where the universe lies
And still we've wandered in our own paths
Living and breathing, under the same sky.

About a year ago, I wrote this on my journal. It helped me cope with extreme sadness and hopelessness knowing I can express how I was feeling through writing.

"Today, I woke up feeling different. Different from how I use to feel for the past few weeks and months. I felt like it's not like those hopeless mornings. I woke up to my new alarm tone "Pleaser" by The Wallows. It's funny how my eyes can barely open but my body was rocking to the music. I've known the song for about the day before yesterday but yeah, you never know what's going to hit you. I want to hope for some things, better things, better than how I've been horribly feeling."

Those days taught me a lot, in all aspects of life. I am somehow grateful, but I am never going back. Stronger now.

How far have you went?
To say it's enough
How much pain should be felt?
To say your hurt
How many words do you need?
To feel okay
How many time would it take?
To finally free yourself
From settling for less than you deserve
From the pain that you cause yourself
From the words you sugar-coated to ease the pain
From the man who doesn't see you worthy of his everything
I should stop
I should give up
But every time I thought doing so
It leads me back to
How far have I went?
How much pain have I endured?
How many words it took you to give me reasons to live?
How you were the reason for my everything
So I'm still here
By your side
Wondering why
You can't choose me.

I have set my feet
upon your shaky ground
in the sky of your uncertainties
in the depth of your abyss
The vastness of your world
is overwhelming
the mysteries you uphold
they are charming
And I am but one
willing victim
of your beauty
never ending
And my feet
they are weak
but I have withstand
your shaky ground
And your sky
I have flown
and your depth
I have known
and your world
your mysteries
They all unfold to me
Will it be you and me?

The night with gloom had kissed my lips
The gleaming lights are gone, my eyes are sealed
This ticking breath how long can keep
Would soon be forgotten— cold and dead.

Oh fate so cruel! What hast thou done?
Had whipped relentless blows and strikes
I have fought the battle, but now I'm gone
No one to cry there in my wake.

But 'tis so good, to be this free
This earthly grudge, will I bear, no more
And in, this sorrow, I found, glee
This, heart, can't, beat, a, morn.

The pronoun I can't use
Is him in "I love you"
Cause him is meant for she
And him for he can't be.

But I am not me
If he for him can't be
Cause I'm in love with him
How wrong things may seem.

Hey, I wore your love
Hope I can pull this off cause
It looks good on me.