Brown eyes or blue.
I know not anymore.
They often changed colour like my mind changes decisions.
Whether or not I should  tell you about my lovely infatuation for you, to you.
You know not what you do to me.
You don't know how many times you've taken my breath away,
and left me suffocating in your presence over the littlest things you do.

You drowned me in your laugh, and your voice sent kisses along my spine.
I shivered in response and the blood in my cheeks boiled.
I knew not how you'd react.
If after I told you the world would start to crumble to its core, and I'd be swallowed with it.
Or the sun would shine a bit brighter.
But neither the first nor the latter happened.

My hands we're violently vibrating.
My heart racing.
My grips to everything physical around me tightened.
I almost put myself into cardiac arrest.
Your eyes met mine, the world stopped.
I whispered things to you in that moment that could almost end my life all together.
But would it really be gone if it was standing right in front of me?
So I let my hope and dreams escape out through my mouth.
Hoping it'd become a reality.



Nothing happened.
Not the first nor the latter.
The dreams never became a nightmare.
Just empty space, empty air.
Just the echo of descending footsteps with awkward pitches.

I walked away after opening my chest to you, revealing everything I'd ever thought.
I wish now that the earth did swallow me, and made me into it's mantle.
Instead it made me stand in your sight, still.

And you left me feeling.
Not really feeling.
You left me... lost.
Not a feeling, just a state of mind. Lost.


I quietly sewed my chest together.
And mourned silently of what's left to my broken heart.
And we never again spoke a word to each other.
I am left with a hollow chest.
I know that you won't breathe life into me again.

The man in the dark
came after me last night
I screamed and steam escaped my
mouth
But my pleas were shoved back
  down my throat

Kicking and screaming
Not wanting, not feeling
Hands bound to you
Soul shut off to you
Body violated by you

The sky seems grey and dark
I'm scared, I'm being torn apart
by a beast
The man, he's long gone
He is nothing more
He is now a snake
slither around my spine

The snake wrapped itself around me
Whispered screams after every violent ******
and around me he went, and
shoved steel rod fingers
into my windpipe

Feelings are lost

Is it over now?
It's all over now
My body violated
Minor bruising, but I'm bleeding inside

Blow out candles
light gone behind my eyes
I know see every man
  as a vile poison

I can't stay alone
Can't help but feeling
I'm somebody else's home
Somebody else's to own
Oh it's all my fault

Mouth sewn shut
won't tell anyone else
Eyes won't shut
Don't wake me from my daydream

Though it isn't written
When the time is given
For no wages or ransom
You would sell out the world

I wouldn't trust my life
I wouldn't keep my secrets
In a running faucet mouth

Me:

Pale eyes,

Big thighs,

and flat hair

Chest that resembles waves

And skin like the dead leaves of the fall



You:

Eyes like honey dew,

Artistic mountain-like figures your voice drew

You seem to be perfect, don't you?

With the way you batter your eyelids

and my lids, they cause hurricane winds



Rough draft copies of tragedies

My life a constant mixture of sin and sanity

You, you're trapped in vanity.



Am I a buffalo, with a targets on my sides?

You're bullet of jokes stings.

I bleed blood from my eyes



I wish I was the carcass now,

But the other half of me continues to go on now.

You seem to hate my posture

Hate the way my mouth cracks under all the pressure.

Sue, SUE, SUE, SUICIDE WHERE YOU ASIDE

from when I need you to wipe the tears, my eyes



Is it when I'm alone and vulnerable you seem

to want to comfort me?

I wouldn't blame you to not want to be seen with

The **** of the joke.



I do not like the way your larynx

lashes out to me

Like whips to a slave

Leaving scars, the words

My skin, the page.



But it's ok.

I'll take the pain.

After all it's just a joke

It's only a game

Even though your self esteem won't be the same.

Relax, don't go insane.

That's one of the joys (the pain) of being the **** of the joke

I think I've found a rose

Think I should burn it soon

Think the stems arose

      off the ground, where I  put it down

The darkness seems overwhelming

Yet your heart seems welcoming

Take me with you

 to your home

Lip-locked fools, knocking over all the stools

Sitting on a bench

No we're not friends, so lets not pretend




Eyes like ice

Hands like sandpaper

  it's heated up, yet still cold to the touch

I think your hair is on fire

Guess I should put away this lighter, for my cigarettes

But that's just its color

Now I won't forget




The only way for me to get high is to stare at you all night 

Staring until my iris melts, until my pupils burn

Don't just fold your lips

Super pink petals

It's bleeding now

I bit it too hard 




Her voice calls the night

Wind's her appetite 

Joy is what she is

She's my therapist




I need to learn a lot from her

But I'm her depressing thoughts

My mouth ****** bullets

Yes, we're magnets

Positives and negatives

I've learned a lot from it




She is apple blossom

I am arsenic

Well apple and poison seems to go well, doesn't it?

People stare and laugh 

But I love the sound of their screams

When I rip what life is left at the seams




This one love is gold

Together, lets grow old.