I can't seem to finish a poem these days
They are all about you.
Thinking about the message that says

"I
Love
You".

Love. Words. Love.
All we have is words, all we ever had was words, though all we ever have is love.
Was thinking of saying that I loved you calling me golden, but the fact is you never called me at all.
And yet

"I
Love
You".

The idea.
What could have been, what we could have been. What we were. What we are.?

I
Love
You.

I've got dreams of you tempting me, torturing.
They are sweet sometimes, others I dread.
When you reach for my hand, I feel butterflies.
Being next to you seems like a threat.

I've got dreams of you loving me, frightening.
Hand in hand walking slow by the beach.
Those are cruel, such confusing illusions.
When I wake you're nowhere I can reach.

I've got dreams of you touching me, troubling.
Screaming soul of mine begging for peace.
I've got dreams you were mine, unmistakably.
Till I woke I was feeling at ease.

I have this melody in my head.
It is real, you can actually listen.
It sometimes makes me wish I was dead
And then others, it feels like I've actually risen.

To the stars and pulled back I was thinking
How much
I would like to see you.
Over there, on the side of the road.
I'd pretend you were looking at me when it actually was
true.

And I'd wait for this dream to be gone but it wouldn't.
And I know that I actually shouldn't,
But I'd go to you in that moment of fearlessness just to see you closer a little bit.

What is the true colour of your hair when you stand in the sun?
What is the shade of your skin under all that tan?
What's the colour of your eyes when you're looking at me?
Do your lips taste like a mint cup of tea?

Do I have to wake up from this dream?

I have got a burning desire
To look at the world's greatest sins
To cleanse all of them by the fire
Find the courage to see what it means

To be close and be vulnerable, human
Open up and not shut people off
To enjoy when the flowers are blooming
And find out what it means to be loved.

I've been staring at this for a minute.
Empty page and my mind just went blank.
Have I lost it, forgotten the meaning?
Where's the way for turning it back?

I've got such a tentative nature.
Can't decide what to do with it all.
How to manage and tame the emotions,
Set my mind to reach only one goal?

Don't belong in my country of origin,
Don't believe in the same things they do.
I can't bare all the lies, they are horrible
Wish to choose my own life, start anew.

See, I had an unfortunate error
Being born where I was has it's price
No one cares who you are or what's fair
They assume, you are bad in their eyes.

Have a wish that's so vibrant and lively.
I might never be able to be.
Who I am, show them my personality.
And sometimes I just don't want to live.

In ten days when I land in London
Don't come looking for me in the park.
Don't go searching the alleys in Camden
I won't wait at my favourite landmark.
I'll be looking through different venues
Watching closely the people I love.
Getting tired of marvelous hypocrites, whose
Affections are shown with the glove .

Tell me honestly: do I deserve this?
Feeling scared of your silent smile.
If we never explore the connection, I
will certainly call it a miss.
Maybe later on some other continent
I will get to experience life.
But for now I have only resentment
And a head full of dreams and the light.
Want to share them with you, want to tell you
How I've been, what I did on that day.
Want to hear all your stories of glory or
When you felt like the world has turned blue.
This is such inexplicable fantasy
I can't stay in this state anymore.
Beg of you, for the sake of my sanity
Leave me here on this cold marble floor.