I am not alone because I
Can't make friends

I am alone because alone is safe

No one can tear the
Tender flesh of my heart
If no one is near enough
To find it

Dazed, mind filled with xanax dust.
I'm questioning who I am
When I look in the mirror I do not see myself
I see a stranger
With bags under her sunken in eyes
And her eyes, they look sad
Lifeless, dead
And her body
Her body's ugly, fat, disgusting
Covered with marks, scars, burns.
But as I look at this person in the mirror
I am over came with the urge
To hurt her, to feed her pills and potions
Because some how I think I am her
I am the sad girl in the mirror with the cuts down her arms
and the bags under her eyes
I just don't want to believe it
Believe I've wasted away
To xanax dust and cuts.

Sometimes words just can't say what you feel
And the most beautiful poetry is

the tears sliding down your cheeks

the memory of being too small to understand anything but a smile

holding someone's hand for the first time

the pain no one can really put into words, when you lose the most important person in the world

The daydreams and nightdreams and everything else inbetween

And knowing you are loved

I don't know what I'm doing
and I'm not sure if I ever did.
These worries wear me down
and sit heavy on my chest,
but I have no plan for my future
because I'm not sure
if I even want one.