i wish you would
miss me

i wish you would
kiss me

i need you to
miss me

i need you to
kiss me

i am not religious
and somehow i attract
sinners
that string me along
and break my heart
knowing that i'll
forgive them
because i don't deserve
love at all
so i cling desperately
to anybody who shows me
any affection at all
even though
they lie to me
they defile me
they cheat on me
and then apologize
they were drunk
they weren't thinking straight
they never really loved me anyway
and i take in
these broken people
and nurture them
until they're healed enough
to turn their backs on me
but who is going to
save me?
while they run off with my friend
or somebody much better than me
i am left to pick up the pieces
of my own shattered heart
and they come back to say
they still love me
but i don't trust anyone
anymore
and i walk away
somehow
i end up being
the villian
and blamed for playing the
victim
and so i'd say
to those who have wronged me -
*******

i wish
i could tell you

                                         i wish
                                         i could hold you

i wish
i could kiss you

                                         i wish
                                         i could love you


                           openly

maybe
every single decision
i have ever made
added up to entirely
decide my fate

maybe
all the people
i've seen or been with
have lead me to you
but you're too blind to see it

maybe
all the words
i have ever spoken
tangled the web that brought me here
leaving me so lonely

i wonder if you like
video games
or is breaking my heart
the only game you like to play?

i made you up
inside my head
all i can feel
is regret

and love for you
but is it you?
i don't think
that it is true

i made you up
inside my brain
you're making me
go insane

i fell in love
with the idea
not the person
i need to meet you

i made you up
inside my mind
i feel like
i'm losing time

my love is just
a complete waste
of all my energy
and your space

what does silence sound like?


it's the sound that surrounds me
every night i lay in bed
without your warm embrace
and wonder why i'm so sad
my brainwaves are incoherent
my fingers have gone numb
i haven't left my bed in three days
how i long to feel your touch
the sounds that no one dares to break
at 3 am in a lover's grave
brushing the hair away from my face
but you don't even know my name
and it's all just a dream that i made up
i wonder if i am actually awake
or if i'm stuck in a perpetual nightmare
counting the days until you hold my hand