what does silence sound like?


it's the sound that surrounds me
every night i lay in bed
without your warm embrace
and wonder why i'm so sad
my brainwaves are incoherent
my fingers have gone numb
i haven't left my bed in three days
how i long to feel your touch
the sounds that no one dares to break
at 3 am in a lover's grave
brushing the hair away from my face
but you don't even know my name
and it's all just a dream that i made up
i wonder if i am actually awake
or if i'm stuck in a perpetual nightmare
counting the days until you hold my hand

would you **** me slowly
and enjoy my pain
playing on my heartstrings

do i mean nothing
am i just a ghost
am i just worthless

nothing good ever happens after 2 am
once your thoughts are taken over
by the lack of sleep
you're unable to understand
the difference between right and wrong
between bad and good
playing god on others
but you can't even help yourself
trapped in a spiral of self-hatred
and there's no light of day
that could help you see a way
only darkness that engulfs you whole
and you wait for hours for a single sign
even though it will just **** you more
should i get drunk or overdose
because sleep has long escaped me
i'm helpless without your love
that you don't want to give to me
and i would understand
but i don't want to
and i can't be without you for another breathing moment
you don't even know my name
and i am so utterly obsessed with you
i want to scream from the top of my lungs
but my voice is broken from sobbing
nothing good ever happens after 2 am
like my tears of sorrow and pain
that nobody is around to see
and there's something in my chest
that just won't let me breathe
it hurts me so badly and nobody even knows
i'm so sad but i could be so happy
if you would just love me
it's all i'll ever ask of you
but i just take another shot of coffee
and keep my bloodshot eyes peeled
my heart is racing like it's late to something
and it hurts my head
but you don't care
until the morning dawns and i realize
i haven't really slept in three days
so kids, remember
nothing good ever happens after 2 am

i'm swallowed by my loneliness again
my corrupted thoughts that know no end
how i long for your gentle touch
even though you don't know me much

the air around me feels thicker still
as i drown myself in all my pills
i know you won't save me from the dark
but you're the only one who has my heart

your name is a silent word on my lips
because i'll never call you
after all the times i've lived
through the same thing before you

your name is the softest thing
that i have ever heard
oh, how i wish it wouldn't
make my heart hurt

i just want to sleep
i don't want to be awake
i just want to dream
i don't want this heartbreak

i should refrain
from spilling my tears
over someone
who doesn't even care