Softly, softly
we step into your mind
quiet and reverent
in our solemn intent.
- words I wrote for you
- books I have read
- places I have been, both
with and without you
- a drawing of my happiness
- your words, to encompass
my pain
I find all of these
where you reside, and as always,
as you are, so much
more than I will ever understand.
when I step out, pieces of
you, cotton-soft, cling to
everything I touched you with. Though
I would love nothing
more than to have stepped lightly in
and out, to not leave a mark
to not sully the purity
of what was before me, I know
this is not possible. The shreds
will cling to me, and I
will cling to the shreds, because
even though I would rather take
nothing, change nothing, be
as inconsequential as nothing, circumstances
have led me to the great
and terrible beauty
of the honor to carry with me
pieces of you.

what is life?
are we actually all living?
we all have this planned life we want to have;
finish school,
have a good job,
get married,
have kids,
grow old,
then die.
Its a routine,
designed for us to live
a "happy life"
how many of us are actually happy
how many people can truthfully say
"I'm happy and I love my life."
not many, I'm sure.
We all say to make the best of things
to live in the present.
you only live once,
take risks and never regret anything you do.
But some people, are just tired
tired of taking risks and it ending badly
having to regret things they have done,
since it changed them drastically.
I say that we should try to live life as much as we can,
we could die any moment,
and as much of us are sad a lot, or say
"I wanna die."
Only some truly mean it.
This isn't living,
its surviving.
-te

you were selling boys to teach the class how to kiss
and for some reason, I spoke up, like I usually do,
and I asked, "how much for the master?"
and you looked at me with your mouth slightly open like you usually do, and said
"are you flirting with me?"
to which I responded,
"yes. is there a problem?"
and you smiled
and then later, alone for the private lesson,
I felt your lips on mine,
soft and pressing, in time together,
pulsing with our heartbeats
slowly, at first, working our way up,
a little tongue here and there,
you'd stop and chastise me
there's something intimate about lips on lips that's more than just skin
it's the warmth and force and desire
our bodies pressed together
and then
I saw you again alone later in the dream
and, eyes full of longing, leaned
forward, and you told me the lesson was over
and I kissed you anyway
I saw you again in the shower, naked,
pressed against me, wet and soft
and you told me the lesson was over
and we kept kissing anyway.

A vanishing cloud, ethereal with a heart shaped red blot in the middle
told her without words, "It's time to dissolve, I can't wait anymore,
it's night, my eyes droop I have to sleep, no time is ripe to say goodbye ever
don't grieve, I am not going anywhere, be back here as things you love most
a strain of music wistful in the evening air, a lovely bird streaming blissfully
in cold mountain air, a sad poem that makes a mother cry for a short while
then dry her eyes and smile,or anything you love without any reason obvious,
will you remember me then, when I am in another, mother dear?"

love is when you see the beauty within a face full of pimples,
the light shining so bright on your other, despite the heavy rain
the insignificant touches, glances, grazes, chuckles and giggles
the significant madness, misery, glares, curses and screams
but then you turn back, say you're sorry and make up again.

love is when you feel like you've done no wrong but you give in,
it is when you turn the lights off for the other who is sleeping
the off days you spend at parks and lake sides
and the lunch hours you give up to say what you have in mind.

"I love you, I love you, do you love me too?"
Said the other on desperate measures,
the flowers and chocolates you buy just to please her.
The infinite amount of kisses on a sad night,
the hugs and blankets to keep her from fright.
"I love you, I love you, baby good night.
I hope you love me too, I hope you sleep tight."

It's the last night before one leaves to university,
it's the last kiss before the last night ends, surely
you've wondered why they'll have to go,
what can you do, and can you follow?

it's the last hug, the last touch, the last laugh and the last smile,
that you'll ever get to see, in probably a very long time.
it's that last physical feeling you feel in through out your body,
its the pain, the joy, the suppressed happiness and the misery
that you felt when and before you first met her.

that's what love is.
and that's how it goes on,
and never ends.

y.m

Dedicated to Farrah.

My mother groand! my father wept.
Into the dangerous world I leapt:
Helpless, naked, piping loud;
Like a fiend hid in a cloud.

Struggling in my fathers hands:
Striving against my swaddling bands:
Bound and weary I thought best
To sulk upon my mothers breast.

I have realized that all of the songs stuck in my mind are about you
Now, I don't want to put credit where credit's not due
But you might as well have been the muse
Of these tunes
Playing on repeat in my mind
You are like my favorite song that I play over and over
Until I grow sick of it
But then again, that's a poor metaphor
For how could I ever get sick of you
Your voice is the haunting melody
That I want to spend my life striving to harmonize
Your heart the tympani beat
That drives my feet
Leading you across the room
Your hand in mine
Like the needle in the groove
Singing out the beauty therein
The glow of your cheek and the gleam of your eye
Is the song eternally stuck in my mind