Its the feeling you get when your mind is a war zone, a warped home where grimmy thoughts roam, with no guidance or support zone, your so frightened to fight it on your own. More poems of suicide and self harm, you ever dreamt you died and felt calm? Just a truant mind with health crimes, help cant cure a ruined life in Hell's palms. You fell in to a ditch and because of it popping bottles of pills that you mixing your ***** with, then nodding off a bit picturing god and all of it, a doctors on the phone telling you to ***** it. Consistently monitored, the alcohol, the quiting , the six, seven seizures, its the moment a schizophrenic freezes, hearing a voice that whispers when it pleases, the vigilant bulimic, the obsessive and compulsive,the bipolar mood swing and stomach ulcers. Its the hidden issues that the medicine alters. Its the judgmental that the depression repulses ,the anxiety, the psychs with the notes, the post traumatic stress and the vices to cope. The prices of dope,the ice in the pipe that you smoke. The knife the rope, the temptation of slicing your throat. Its the stigma determined to scare you, when the bourbon your served is your urgent repairer. When not feeling nervous becomes rarer and your mom quits  her job to become your permanent carer. Its the psychotic episodes, the days that you lost seeking help, but being crazy isn't something I am ashamed to admit, so stay strong anybody who relates to this, please.

Don’t

Is the worst
Word

It limits
It binds
It confines

Chokes
Off
Life

Don’t go too far
Don’t run too fast
Don’t work too hard
Don’t fly too high
Don’t love him or her
Don’t cross that line

Red warning lights ahead

If you

Don’t

Fall in line

But not me

I want to build the biggest wings

And
Fly
Until
My
Skin
Is
Ablaze

I want to break
All the boundaries

I want to go where
I shouldn’t

I want to feel
So alive

That
Every
Second
That passes

Is
A
Glorious
Eternity

Fearless passion

As
I dive
From
On
High

And even
If
I go
Down
In
Flames

It will
Be
Such
A
Beautiful
Demise

Every
Single
Moment
Of
My
Burning

Will
Be
Worth
It

I never know how to walk away because i am always afraid i won't find something that special again.