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stress builds up in the chest when you're left behind
to fend for yourself. when all else failed, you sailed away,
promising you'll return someday. but let me tell you my
friend, you're blessed. there's no need to dwell on the past
because at long last, my little castaway has found
herself back at the bay. but if you're gonna' stay
you better tie down. if you stray from the shallows,
you'll surely drown. this small town carries bigger lies,
there's much more here than meets the eye.
and i was worried sick about you,
ever since you left it was all i could do.
i can't control the tides, this i know.
but sometimes, it's so hard to let go.

© Matthew Harlovic
am i out of the blue?
Conflict of the conscious

There things
We don't want
To remember
It is there buried
Under layers
Of lies
Like a worm
Worming it way
Through
Mud
It tries to force
Us to see
To confront oneself
Is a hard thing to do
Jaded seemed to be your favorite word
I sometimes made myself laugh at the idea
Of keeping a count of how many times I heard the word slip out of your mouth.

I wasn't ready

Sudden change
That's what happens to people who get jaded as easily as you do
I didn't count on a forever, but
I didn't anticipate the sudden stop.

I expected more
Sleepless nights curled up against your back
Running my fingers across your shoulder blades
Tracing your spine as you slept
Kissing the sleep from your lips
Fixing your hair before you go to work
Coffee and Scrabble
Art museums and Monet
Guitar picks scattered across my floor
Countless nights of new movies
Long drives in your broken car
And listening to your favorite songs that I never could remember the words to.. but kept on my playlist anyways

I didn't prepare myself for a final night
Last kiss
See you later hug
Erasing future plans
Letting go of the love I still had left for you
Wondering if there will be another chance.

"What are you thinking?"
"... Now what?"
The feel
In a sac

Just a cut

Not to me
I you

But to the balloon
And

Free
<~>
This world is filled with madness
Like the madness that creeps into my head
And my life has become
The most beautiful*
*Cluster of Chaos
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