I wonder what will happen next time we wee each other.
Will you pretend you didn't see me?
Will I pretend I didn't see you?
Or will we say hi and carry on with our day?

I wonder if you would let me talk to you.
Would we be able to pretend we were still best friends?
Talking and laughing like the good old days.
Or would you tell me to leave and refuse to talk to me?

I wonder if you would go home and miss me.
Would you reminisce on our glory days?
Would you want me to be part of your life again?
Or would you just carry on with your day,
As if nothing ever happened.

I wonder if you would even recognize me.
Do you remember what I look like?
Or am I just a faint memory?

I won't have to wonder for much longer I hope.

You would be a fool
to think that when I look upon you,
my eyes do not gaze into the depths of your soul.
They see the sorrow you've felt,
the pain you've dealt.
All the tears, and fears;
bliss and cheers.
I am not judging you,
simply seeing through,
the mask that you use,
to cover up your bruised
Ego.
Know
Though that I am trying to understand,
your pain felt,
so I can lend a healing hand.
Not trying to leave another welt,
Upon your pristine frame.
For I am blessed to have Christ in my name;
I wish to
heal you
All
the
same.

I think I realized why
you are the way
that you are tonight.
Once your heart gets broken,
you don’t care or have the capacity
to retain that doing it to
somebody else makes you weak.

The conversation took a turn.
A turn, I wasn't expecting.
Like when a yield sign
is on one side of the road
and you have to brake anyway
for the people that don't follow it.

"I'm sorry," you breathed,
hugging your legs close,
tucking your hands behind
your kneecaps.

Your bed suddenly felt
like I was sitting on stone.
"You don't want me anymore,"
I shouted in a pain-ridden voice.
I pulled away, sinking further
into myself and bending over.

You pull for me.
Your hand snags my shirt
and then my arm.
You attempted to pull me
in closer to you.
I never understood why
you wanted to give me
a protective embrace.

"You said you don't want me anymore!"
I reiterated, looking at him with
tear-streaks on my cheeks.
Any hope left was in this one moment,
and it turned out to be the moment
you let me go.

Your eyes still haunt
and dazzle my mind's eye,
and yet your presence
is still long gone from me.

My collar bones and spine
are becoming too heavy
for my body to carry on and
act as if I don't miss you.

I feel my ribcage rattling against
my aching heart trying to beat.
My lungs struggle to catch
the last breath we exchanged.

One day I hope to meet you again,
face to face, so I can see that sliver
of guilt that you're holding onto,
and yet, be able to say I forgive you.

The things you don't realize
when your hearts separate
forever and you never speak
to one another ever again.

The sky is still the same
shade of blue as last February
when we kissed in your apartment,
teasing our fingers in each other's
hair, while your roommate
listened to us on the other
side of the door.

That tiny place still exists in
Boston where you left it,
even though your heart is
now in Seattle with some
new girl you just met.

I mean, I hope you're happy
wherever you are now.
With whomever you're with,
and doing what, or whom
you love so dearly.

I'm no longer the burden
that worsened your heavy mind.
I just wish you'd realize that
my heart never left your
tiny studio apartment on
the outskirts of the city.

Sometimes,
I wish my apartment steps
were made of glass
so the night we met -
they shattered and we never
would have made the connection
that sold my soul
to the devil
back last year.

The price
was that I would
miss you
for the rest
of my life,

And I wish I could
take it all back.