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Julianna Dec 2018
Maybe if I just love you a little bit I won't get hurt.
Julianna Dec 2018
sugar and salt are both appealing
but what happens when you have to choose?

what if i told you that you

between summer and winter
the milky sheet of snow and hum of the fireplace
creamy melted chocolate and milk swirled into a cozy drink
millions of tiny bursts of color illuminate
every border of every house

but what about the

lazy afternoon sun
and the salt in the air and in your hair and in your mouth
and the ice pops
the sweet
ice pops that feel
on your shriveled up tongue

-and what about the way
your skin sparkles
after laying in the

you may say,
i can't pick both, 
they are
so beautiful

well what if i told you that you have to pick
between things which are

what if i told you
that if you love two souls

a sun
and a moon

two souls, which are both so rich
and lovely,
that you could only pick one,
which would you pick?

or would you just choose neither?
Julianna Dec 2018
his icy blue eyes never fail to engage me,
enrage me, or perhaps
tempt me.
but then they melt,
and he slowly evaporates.
Julianna Dec 2018
So I can see you.
So I can see you and your
beautifully chiseled face.
So I can see you and
your thick brown hair.
and the freckles that lightly coat your
cheek bones.
Your cheekbones that once blushed
because you were falling in love.
Come closer so I can speak to
your fiery eyes.
The color of roasted chestnut.
The color of addiction.
Can you come closer?
So I can see your fleshy lips.
Your perfect, pink lips-
and let me touch them.
Can you come closer?
So I can see your stupid
short eyelashes.
That I had always hoped my daughter would never
Now she won't.
Can you come closer?

So I can kiss you goodbye.
Julianna Dec 2018
I want to know why.

I want to know why she was forced to leave.

and why he had to die as not even an infant, that could get wrapped up in a white silky blanket and be buried next to strangers and not her momma and father.

and why my eyes are green and yours are brown and hers weren’t lucky enough to have been a beautiful swirl of hazel forests.

and why her nails were never painted the color of tulips.

and why your nails are ragged and ******.

and why the least expensive things in life are the ugliest and the hardest and the worst.

and why your feet smell like cheese, and your breath reeks of ******.

and why I never got to cradle my miracle.

and why I hate you

it was
what was best.

why do I love her, even though she doesn’t exist?

why do I cry on my birthday?
Julianna Dec 2018
loving you
is as dangerous
as running through the jungle
under hanging branches dressed with wild monkeys,
swinging violently above your head
and when you escape the green maze
like a speedy snake,
you are met with a
yellow swamp,
with alligators, and venom
and your
cut up
but you dive in-
for love,
and when the alligators kiss your tender belly,
you swim faster-
and jump out as soon as you see the land that
is being soaked with powerful rain and
the lightning just struck a tree, and the
tree is on fire, and your love is on fire-
and you’re alive,
love’s alive-
you are alive.
Julianna Dec 2018
The laces of his work boots had slowly
Come undone,

After a long and exhausting life-
They finally released.

Lanky strings hung over the sides of
Pale leather with
Purplish scars,
From cement.

There was blood on the sidewalk.

He took off his boots that night
And placed them in the back of his closet

Next to the skeleton of an older pair.
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