Ever meet that one person in life
feeling like they’re meant to complete your life
Been knowing each other for years
but every time you turn around, you’re causing each other tears
Barely speak like you used to but you’re too caught up to love another
can’t love anyone else cause you’re too in love with each other
You’d rather suffer the storm with them
than to enjoy a sunny day without em
Can’t move on from them cause you’d be miserable without em
Throughout all the fuss & fighting, the feeling of making up makes you forget
that this relationship is like a roller coaster with overwhelming twist
If you didn’t miss em so much, you’d **** em off mentally
Feeling your heart break every time you say good bye
Missing em every minute & can’t help but cry
If you could survive life without em, you’d try
no rehab needed, their drug is the perfect high
Laying in a bed built specifically for your guns & roses

☆ Poetic Venxm ☆

Do not wait
for someone
to offer you
their world.
Remember,
you have your own.

with a soft red top

he stood, face glistening in the spotlight

his character was funny, however

i couldn't bring myself to laugh.

i was in awe.

i, a lowly peasant to his acclaimed king,

was in awe of his greatness.

he leaves the stage, exiting left.

must he go?

he walks past me.

"****, don't look."

he goes past, turns in my direction

i turn redder than his hair, i move slightly to the left

and in that moment,

every bone in my body said

screamed

shouted

"wow."

No more order,
I've lost the reins,
losing control,
from all the pains.

External, internal,
it's all the same.
Doesn't matter on whom
you put the blame.

Giving in
to this madness,
'cause it feels
better than sadness.

Anger feels
better than pain.
Even if some
teeth have to rain...

Don't have a reason to live.
But don't have a reason to die.
Plus all these lows
Are making me high.

Some days, I wake up and i just don’t feel pretty. I don’t know what it is, whether its the food that i eat or the drinks that i drink or the things that i do try to enjoy. I get up, and look in the mirror, and i just hate the image staring back at me.

I mean, it isn’t like i think im grotesque, it isn’t like i genuinely believe that i am repulsive, i just cannot get over the fact that, my skin is marred, what once was flawless is now scarred. i cannot see past the blur that i see in my eyes, the haze on my soul.

Some days, i wake up, and i just want to get high, and lie, in the rain instead on lying to myself that everything is how it should be, that destiny and fate have me in just the right position. That i am exactly where i need to be, but i truly do not see where this is going.

I mean, what am i doing? and where am i to go, when i dont see my future laid out like a yellow brick road. I joke about needing sunglasses because my future is that bright, but im blinded by the fact that i truly have no idea, where i am, let alone whats coming next.

Some days, i block out my past, by creating a swirling ball of white nothing, and feed my thoughts, my life, my worst times into the light so i dont have to twitch and cringe as my mistakes flash before my sight. It is difficult to live with such regret, and can i keep going.

I mean, it feels like fire through my brain when some of my best memories are those i have when i am alone. because when i am around others, no matter who they are, i hate what i do, what i have said and what my next move will be.

Some days, i feel like falling into the sun, and burn to a crisp. To see my pale bones char and flash into ashes because i hate who i have become. i want to escape the world, if just for a time, to stop existing but not to die. its a break of sorts from having to think, for all else i see, hear, smell, taste is to much and pushes me to the brink.

Some days, i have to whisper my own sweet nothings, to myself, knowing of course that no one else will. its not that everyone hates me, but i dont know its true, that for want of a companion my loneliness grew. It seems no ones approaches for reasons i do not know, i do my absolute best to make others smile and that seems to channel a raging torrent of, you’re not worth my time.

I mean, i truly despise the opinions of others and loathe that i care what they think. It doesnt make sense that they have so much weight, so much say, in how i view myself. i know its not right, and i know that its wrong, but i cannot stop myself no matter what.


Some days, i am my own person i tell myself, but i know its a lie, im itty bitty pieces of every other guy, and girl. traits and mannerism i admire, ive tried to replicate, a chameleon uncomfortable in their own skin, itching and scratching and doing their “best”.

I mean, its not my best, that i know for truth. what is my best? do i or will i ever know? probably not, for since the beginning of memory ive imitated and copied and imprinted personality parts, i havent been my own person for a very long time.

Some days. I wish it were not so frequent. Some days. I wish for silence. From my Thoughts. From my Feelings. From the boisterous noise that is life. I need to stop and i need to sleep. I just need to know i havent fallen in too deep. There may come a day where i do see the light, when my futures ember bursts into bright white.

But for now i know that tomorrow when i wake, ill look in the mirror and stare and say ‘you know what...today is okay’

Hello all my wonderful friends and talented poets, I am seeking advice on the following poem. I find it challenging to edit. Thank you all, for your help in advance.


Lost, and no one is searching.
Not for me,
                   definitely not,
I'm just an "Orphan", and so you seem to see.

I'm scared of the upcoming events.
I'm at a loss for words that are heavy—lead...
Leaflet
of page flips,
a collection of what I can't prevent.
I, it's my expense.
~
I, I bend until I break because of things like this.
No one gets it,
No one will ever get this.
People I live with,
Say that I just need to "believe in myself, and be positive",
Again,
They don't get it.

I just write a lot; I just write...
I have a lot on my mind.
I hate the idea of moving.

The sight,
of a suitcase makes me go blind.

I wish I could spill my eyes
~ like ink ~
There are words I need to write, words have become a monster in my life, crawling up my spine, like waves, ebb, and flow - walls of wakes. I'm drowning in this lake, the weight pressed against me—the cracked skull, and my peeling
mind,
Nothing feels right,
they're all I can think
~ of, words, words enough to make me sink.
Into my hollow chest deep,
and empty.
But inside
my lungs find
a return together, and my diaphragm
fighting—like the closing mouth of a dying-clam.

So far away,
To a University
and Dorm-room stay,
I'm quite a fog, no definition-no importance—I fade
In the grey.
I fade away, every **** day.
Take it all away?
Silly me...
"No, stop being negative", they will say.

It feels like another Foster home,
I just want to go,
disappear - collapse into the undergrowth.
But inside I've never been so low.
Famished, insatiable, and ravenous, the beast still grows.
Chewing through what I've created for you,
To -
Just cut my tongue, and slice my toes
trying to hold.
On to the walls as they slip from my fingertips,
I fold.
Into my brain - filled with holes.
Into myself, a mystery—a candle melting without a flame, a game, that gets dull, and so old.
I've lost again, on this, I've been,
'Ashton' without
a doubt,
My words, I know -
My words know,
no woe.
Losing your interest, I'm only a muddled groan.
A man who is such a child, has to find a way to become grown.

I've no certainty,
Certainly, I cannot keep...
What I cannot see,
I cannot see where I'll be,
Who'll stay? Nobody?
Who would want to stay in my life?
No one needs to say that I,
have become a joke,
and as I choke, I know,
I'm not funny...
~
Nobody?
Not even me.

Hey,
I guess it's okay?
They don't stay.
It's always been the same.
My mind's leaving me.
Nothing will ever change.
All my life, I've been drifting, deranged. Slowly, I fear that I may
never find a refrain ~
That I'll love to be in this state
of mind, so insane.
—They never really did, and slowly,
Through my fingers, they...
Slipped.
Away.
From me,
and my weak grip, white knuckles behind the bleed.
- I wouldn't lie, I tried -
everything...
but it was my weakness that gripped
so I slipped'
like they did.

I guess,
I'm just going to have to get used to this.

I swear, I've been,
Lost, now I'm even more lost when
...I'm searching.
I'm looking
From outside of myself—in.

My ribs open,
I'm an open book, but now, I'm a loose-leaf—dropped with a pen,
~
I, to not be picked up again.

My skin is paper thin,
Go ahead take a look right in?

See what's really inside of me?
That my heart is just too big, to bear its own beat.
Maybe -
Maybe - my wounds will bring you to me?

I have so much love to give,
I cannot keep it contained within.

My heart is exploding,
and I know it...
This life is no longer mine to live.

Why do I feel like this?
Everything is going great, it is.
Yet something is amiss,
I'm reckless, I try, and end up defective.

I feel like I am obsolete.
           and when I fall asleep,
                           I don't even want to dream.
Thinking about more than I can think.
I've been getting better at buying,
The lies between
the pages of a book without a spine - me,
getting better at hiding
that I, I'm just, weak,
I'm obsolete.
Hung up by the seams,
~
A nail in the wall holding me.
A puppet without strings,
The nail has a name, 'PTSD'.
Hang me in the hall,
Watch me drop down, and fall
~
On my face in the heat,
Watch my colors-fade-to-grey
as they blend in the bleed.

A painting of melting color, that drips, and drips,
No worth, I'm worthless...

I'm just that foster kid from the streets.
The one that no one needs,
I don't want to be,
Believe me,
I woke up, and don't want to be me,
I just want to be free.

By: Ash