It’s like a constant tremor beneath my skin, as much a part of me as the blood flowing through my veins. A perpetual angst that cannot be quelled. Though I keep reaching out, desperate to get out of the current before it pulls me under. Yet it has no name. The origin is unclear. I feel it on the tips of my fingers but it forever evades my grasp. It whispers to me like the autumn breeze though I cannot decipher the direction it blows. My internal compass is broken thus I keep retracing my steps. A repetitious journey on the same path when I can’t even pinpoint my destination. Wherever that may be, I just want to feel at peace...if only I could find due north

I never feel as lonely as I do surrounded by other people. I only feel whole in the rare moments of solitude. What a morose epiphany. I’m not quite sure which is worse, actually being alone forever or being with those who make you feel alone. Perhaps it’s a paradox of sorts, both are needed at times to make you appreciate the other. Sigh.

What a foolish word.
To think anyone deserves anything is naive at best. Such arrogance is destined to be disappointed time and again. You get what you put in, and sometimes you don’t even get that. Such is life. Humanity as a whole believes they are superior in every way and yet here we are. A false sense of entitlement to what we think we deserve. Ignorance at its finest. You don’t deserve **** and that’s just the cold, hard truth.

She could never decipher the intentions behind the feeling. Fragile little fleeting emotions, not to be trusted. For she loved with a hesitation that it would one day be gone. But was love even love at all? Did she only gaze up in wonder at the moon because of the distance between? Loving something that would be forever out of reach in fear it just might love her back.

I battle these urges as long as I can
But self control has always been an adversary
There’s something there that pulls me in
Just when the light is approaching the end of the tunnel, a sirens song lures me back to the depths of darkness
It consumes me.
I muster up every shred of my will but it’s no use, it’s only a matter of time before the monster within grows a resistance to my futile fight.
Like a marionette tangled in its own strings...I just want to know how it feels to dance with someone once more.

I cannot recall when it happened,
Was it a week, a month, a day?
All that remains is silence now
since the words, they went away.
They used to flow like waves
Sailing ships across my mind
But it appears the breeze was lost
Somewhere and now I’m in a bind.
Was it a who? A what? A where? A why?
Is it truly lost for good?
I’ve searched near and far for it
And I’ve done the best I could
Now, I sit here in the graveyard
Of all the prose I’ve wrote before
Reading every old tomb stone
Just to feel alive once more.
I plead for them to return to me
But my voice just echoes on
I would’ve said I loved you so,
If I knew that you’d be gone.

I’ve been resisting the current for some time now as if I’m determined to sink instead of learning how to float. I know how I feel but I’m terrified of actually feeling at all. I’m tired of being dragged around the same whirlpool yet what the **** lies out yonder? What a ******* irony because I’ve been drowning in the sea of schnapps for years. It’s all clear yet the weight pulls me under. Do I inhale the liquid or fight to the surface? Maybe drowning isn’t the most peaceful way to die after all as I choke for life once more.

A verdict was reached today. A jury of my peers depicted my character flaws and the judgement ruled I am an awful human being. The defense tried to argue the validity of my consistency towards psychosis but the commonwealth didn’t buy it. Now I’m left here, awaiting my sentence.... as if I wasn’t already serving it. When time is a mere construct that passes awfully slow. What is to make of concrete walls when I’ve been trapped within the square my entire existence? A little more time. A few more dreadful stares. As if any of it really matters at all? Just give me my ball to bounce against the walls of this construct until my time is over. Satisfaction is a mere state of mind and perhaps if I get the angle just right it will catapult back in my face and end it all for good.

Your memory hangs on the wall of my mind like a prized work of art. In those moments, when lost in a day dreaming daze, I drift through the halls of my gallery and find you there. Each emotion painting a different perspective of your canvas in constant flux, an abstract view that changes with the phases of the moon. But I can’t look away. The boldness of the hue leaving me in awe, yet the blood streaks down from my bleeding heart, reminiscent of the agony of the wound that’s still open. I lock it in the room in the corner of my thoughts, like a *******, a glutton for the pain that the sight of you brings. I can’t bring myself to take it down, despite the pleas from my tired soul. I cling to that moment captured in time, in foolish hope that one day you will return. Return to acknowledge all the love, pain, and destruction that created these masterpieces in my collection. If only you could see the passion in every brush stroke. The subtle way the pigment whispers the truth of my intentions. Maybe then, you too will be in awe. Maybe then, you’d want to stay.

A tortured artist’s muse, an abstract concept that could never truly be defined. Though, they tried. Aspiring Picasso’s came like passerby’s, setting up their easels, trying to capture the essence of a moment. An ever changing scenery in constant flux. A single clip of time, forever evading the masterpiece. There was only ever a beginning, as frustrations with the unrelenting storm tore the portrait to the ground with each passing breeze. They failed to see the beauty in starting each day with a blank canvas, always determined to brush every stroke perfectly into place before the sun set. The love for the view was lost, so desperate to embody it completely they forget to appreciate it entirely, as layers of color paint a picture of indifference. But tell me Pablo, would you label the bird as callous for wanting to leave the branch...or would you gaze with the all the wonder of life watching it flap its wings?

The smell of you is on my sheets
There’s ***** on the wall
Three empty bottles near my feet
I think I drank them all
Awoke to find you here
Though I truly can’t recall
The night before unclear
Did we **** or have a brawl?
Please wake up and leave
I’ll walk you down the hall
Feel like I’m going to heave
And you’ll probably never call.

A play unfolds in my mind each night
As two opposing forces fight for control
The nefarious darkness assembles its army of thoughts to lay siege upon the throne of light.
Reason fires down from the compassionate wall
As the guilt slithers its way to the top.
The loathing berates the beautiful moat until the trenches give way to a cleansing flood.
As dawn emerges the enemies call a cease fire...to replenish their armies for the twilight to come.

There was a heavy sadness in her eyes, as if a decade of lonely nights took refuge in her tiny frame. She carried it well. The pain. She had grown numb to it, the blows only stung at first until the waves of agony rippled out into her tranquil lake of despair. Perhaps it was more of a friend to her, for it was the only one who was always there. The pain was loyal. The only one that never left. If not for it, how would she know she even existed? What would there even be besides a void? Nothingness. Perhaps she needed the pain, which is just as well because it certainly wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It had moved in long ago. Long before it was even welcome. A permanent resident. A fixture. Embedded into her very existence. No, it wasn’t leaving, it would be there always.

I'm so sorry baby
It's not your fault
Mommy's just sad
I'm so sorry baby
I tried to keep it in
I tried to hide it
But it hurts so badly
Don't be sad please
Mommy needs your smile
I know you're scared
I didn't mean to yell
You're the only thing I love
But right now I hurt like hell
Please baby try
To understand
Mommy needs a minute
My strength has depleted
My will has all but left
I'm holding on for you
I'd never tell you that
A selfish heavy burden
But you're all that I have left
Please be patient with my tears
Mommy will be ok soon
We'll read a bedtime story
And gaze up at the moon
Things will be fine again tomorrow
With a little sleepless rest
To ease some of the sorrow
So I can be your mom again

I spend each day counting the minutes until it's over
Holding on to nothing more than strings of guilt and obligation
What love can I give to this little boy?
When all my thoughts are screaming to die
I wonder how much longer until they tell me he'll be better off without me.

The allure of your darkness was swept across my sky with the frigid winds outside the pane.
Perhaps for no other reason than to remind me of my own.
Your consuming presence is heavy in the reality of your absence.
A keen awareness battles the anxious tremors as I realize it is all a product of myself.
Dark clouds I have painted in my own sky. A cloak for that I don't want to see. A reflection I may not recognize nor do I wish to confront.
What that may be is a mystery, even now.
A soothing relief, perhaps. For it was never really you. A mere metaphor and nothing more. A tool. A key to unlock another passage of my halls I've yet to travel.
If only I could build up the courage to open the door.

The perpetual longing for this desire I can't quite put into words has washed over me like a subtle wave. Drowning me with this agonizing emotion which cannot be quelled. This empty void that plagues me like an unquenchable thirst. I'm not sure I could fill it, even if knew exactly what "it" was to begin with.

I have an autumn soul
For I am a child of the fall
And in the dying chill
You'll see the beauty of it all
My light is warm and soothing
But there is a frigid side
For lurking in the shadows
A wintry pain resides
So knit it all together
And bundle your heart tight
Beneath the hooded sweaters
Lies the darkness and the light.

The lighting flashes in synchrony with the neurons firing rapidly in my pounding skull.
The night sky is exploding within itself,
Reflecting my inner turmoil.
A hopeless omen foreshadowing my misery..
For there will be no relief tonight,
as the thunder rages on in the darkness.

Love may be the most powerful force..
A joyous, light feeling,
Embodying the true meaning of happiness...
It's unworldly,
Esoteric.
But in my opinion,
Nothing makes you feel more alive than pain.
The all consuming agony.
The truest reminder of the human condition.
As your spirit begs..
Pleads..
With every essence of your being,
Please just let me out...
PLEASE!
it's too much, I can't bear it..
Held captive in one's own skin
The blissful torment of solitude.
That's being alive.
And darling,
I sure am living.

I'm afraid sleeping soundly only occurs after a fifth of whiskey
The void of sound is achieved by borderline alcohol poisoning
A deafness like the still of the night
When all things fade to black
Until one awakes with the dreadful ringing
Of bad decisions in ones ears
Like the incessant hum
Of Brain cells as they quiver and die

I feel like an alien in my own skin again
The overwhelming urge to leave my body radiates through me like an anxious tremor
I try to convey my angst to those around
But it seems my words are unable to articulate my all consuming yearning
The desire for some reassurance is annihilated by blank stares and misconstrued words against fragile egos drowned in self absorption
It's pure agony
Please tell me that someday it will all be okay
That I will align with a purpose and feel a tranquil sense of fulfillment
Instead of this incessant energy running rampant throughout my tiny frame
Surely I'm bound to spontaneously combust
For I fear the profound is churning rapidly without any hope of release
And it's only a matter of time until I burst within the darkness.

In my mind you're a scientist
That sadistic smile sparkles
With the glow of your white lab coat
Another day of tweaking the variables
Measuring the effects of each experiment
Carefully calibrating the potency of your words
To acquire a more spectacular combustion
All just to see
If the power of your consuming lust
Can put out the flames once more
Or if your fragile test subject
Will finally reach her breaking point
And shatter into a state of no return.

No light may fall upon my skin
To heal the darkness that dwells within
Draw the curtains and pull the shade
As you peer into these eyes of jade
A haunted glimpse of pain concealed
The horror if it's all revealed
It's the pity that I dread
I'd rather have disgust instead
If it's truth that you seek
Perhaps I'll show a little peek
I'm not looking for your absolution
Spare the awful light pollution
I'm not one to try to save
I prefer the dark inside my cave.

My hopeful thoughts have shimmered away,
Like fireflies in the darkness of summer nights..
I thought I saw a spark..
But now it's gone...
I search in the shadows,
But once again it has retreated.
I'm left to wonder if it was my imagination again..
A mere facade in the night.
Impulsively I seek to numb it,
But in the anguish I may find something better than relief...
To feel it all with the burning realization
That there was nothing ever there.

The week of the moon
Always comes way too soon
As it boasts so full in the sky
Yet here I am empty
Good spirits have left me
Cursing, asking why
The cycle's completed
As I lay here depleted
Watching the minutes go by
Emotions are churning
My body is burning
Revolting at its cue
nature, my friend
I'd like this end
But there's not much She can do
In misery I wait
With this cruel twist of fate
For it all to start anew.

Once or twice I met the reaper
In the dark despair of night
Inner battles kept on waging
And there was no end in sight
I begged of her to take me
Towards the warm embracing light
She ignored my painful pleas
Perhaps the timing wasn't right
I had almost lost all hope
With the never ending fight
Her wanted poster on my arm
Tattooed just in spite
A set of keys and whiskey
Cars can fly just like a kite
Soon after those events
Change started to take flight
A gift of a son
Made my world much more bright
The anguish has retreated
And I'm starting to feel alright
So, Please thank her when you meet her
there's a good chance that you might
Im grateful to be here now
If only for tonight.

I want to suffer in the bliss of agony
And drown amongst my overwhelming sorrow
It hurts even more that I have no choice but to keep myself together
When I want so desperately to be numb
The darkness is calling out my name
As I try my best to ignore the comfort of its song
I long for the poison. Coursing through my veins
As the blackness erases all of the pain
And I just want to fade away until it's gone

Under the light of the neon moon she inhales the last drag...
In hopes it would slow the rhythm
Of the dancing demons in her restless mind.

I was just a small snowflake
Amongst the flurries in your world
I gracefully steered clear of the high walls of brick
A majestic descent
That captured your gaze
Like a ballerina on the stage
But that crooked smile
Appeared on your face
As your callous eyes watched me fall to my demise
Only to end my journey
Dissolving into the icy asphalt
Of your blackened heart.

The struggle to regulate emotion
Is difficult when they arrive as waves
But originate from an ocean
Trying to fold it all together
Like a beautiful origami
Unintentional suppression
Which culminates into a tsunami
That crashes down on your illusion
Bursting through the levy
And drowning in the confusion
Of self discovery
As vast as the universe within
A perplexing mystery
Inside of me
Searching for a place to begin
My quest
As I observe my ego
And balance the rest
When the tides cleanse the slate
Of internal distress accrued
Perhaps I'll wade amongst the water
And find the answer I've pursued.

I'm better off hitting rock bottom
All this constant lingering in the free falling downward spiral is agonizing torture
I reach for something to cling to and yet I'm still slipping, I can feel it
Once I secure myself in the depths of not sinking any lower I can begin to strategize my Ascension
When there's nowhere to go but up
My tendency towards a nihilistic disposition is a disheartening cynicism
And right now I just need something to believe in
No matter how temporary that belief may be.

If I were any more devoted to the illogical belief in you I could start a new religion
We'd hold belligerent masses every Monday since it's the worst day of the week and it seems suiting
We'd have commandments such as not to idolize another with the threat of impending self anguish for all of eternity
Zealots would come out of the woodwork like your adoring fans, each declaring their love for you is greater than the next
Skeptics would insist that the notion of you is false and scoff at those who believe otherwise trying to persuade us with cold hard facts as we gladly turn away in our blissful ignorance
We would hold on to our unwavering faith until our last breath in hopes of gaining some sort of favor in your eyes
Until we die and finally come to grips with the realization that it was all just a clever con instilled in our minds to control our every move in the joke we called our lives.
I realize all of this, I am aware my dear...though the heart is insistent on this blind devotion to your love.
I suppose I'm just as foolish as the rest.
Scoff.

Darkness slithers in like a snake again
And hisses the words
Hello my old friend
It makes its way to the belly of my fears
And rests in delight
At the sight
Of the sirens tears
Caught within the demons snare
It begins to constrict
As I gasp for air
A losing battle
For the more I fight
My vision gets blurred
And can't see the light
So now it seems
My only choice
Is to listen to
The hiss of its voice
Reluctantly I begin to abide
As the poison seeps in
To scorch my insides
It's okay I say
It'll be over soon
As I begin to give in
To the ominous tune
My soul revolts
In violent thrashes
A part of you must die
To rise from the ashes.

Deep down,
We always knew we didn't belong together.
Like oil and water, separate, yet floating along in unison.
I can see it now.
I was always water, bubbling along trying my best to uplift those around me and nourish their souls with my vital compassion and generosity, springing new life into every crevice that lay in my path.
But then you came along, and covered me with your toxic love. It was thick and all consuming, slowly killing all the life force within. With arrogance you spread infectiously throughout my mind until the only thought I had was you. Once in a while the sun would shine upon you and I was in awe at the magnificence of your shimmering beauty as if for a moment, I thought I saw the real you, but it was merely a facade. A clever predatory disguise to mask the horrors of your deadly true self.
Pretentious description, maybe.
But since that fire was started I've been trying my hardest to burn away every trace of you from the surface. Hopefully in time your toxins will evaporate from my body and life will begin to flourish once again.
Until then I will wade along, watching patiently as the evidence of your oil spill dissipates into clarity once again.

A walking contradiction
Speaking truth but living fiction
Chasing these words
An unrelenting addiction
Write it, just write it out
Find a connection
The lines must overlap
To explain this infection
Of incessant poetic streams
In search for direction
It seems my spirit
Needs a resurrection.

I live in the night sky
And float along the Milky Way
My lovers are comets passing by
Whispering Words as they run away
icy hearts with tears of fire
Wishing they could stay
To the moon I do confide
My dreams of love and life
She unveils to me her darker side
And I help her through the day
She weeps as she pulls the tide
With dawn she comes undone
She speaks of her forbidden love
As we glimpse the burning sun
We retreat into the dark abyss
Every time the daylight comes
Cloaked in the darkness
To fatigue I do succumb
I make my bed amongst the stars
And bathe in the Big Dipper
I lay my head just past Mars
My mind rests a little quicker
Wrapped in a constellation
I kiss the moon goodbye
My heart is in complete elation
My home is the night sky.

There will be no sleeping
As the same old feelings start creeping up my spine
I'm trying to unwind
Yet I'm anxious
Fidgety
There's no room for rest in this queen size bed
As my heart continues pumping this ache to my head
And my mind
Ever so stubborn
fights it instead
An age old battle
Between logic and emotion
If only I could apply
The same unwavering devotion
to something other than insomnia
So I'll let out a sigh...
There's no room for tears
When the what ifs and the whys
Are a pointless endeavor
So my mind will continue
To persuade my heart to sever
This anchoring string
That's drowning my soul
And this whole weighted memory
Will be a fling
In the graveyard of my past lovers.

I can feel my soul awakening
Bursting new life like the budding trees in spring
Anxious to grow again
For it was dormant in the desolate winter of my dark past
Hiding within this shell of a body
Almost lifeless
But I can feel it now
The warmth of the sun kisses my skin
With a promise of a new beginning
Caressing my bones with a reminder that I have withstood the blizzards of time
Though, Not unscathed
I must push forth and regrow the life I once knew
All with the knowledge of what the darkness holds
And I can feel it
This time I will bloom with a fierceness of life in all of its beautiful glory.

There was a time when I sought comfort sleeping through the storm..
But now I lay awake listening to the howling winds outside my window and feel a morose sympathy towards its agonizing call
As if, it too is out there searching for some kind of peace
An aching reminder of a more tranquil time.

I awoke from a dream
Confined within the seam
Of a dreadful yearning ache
As I tried not to break
The memory of my sleep
Though still it creeped away
Frayed by the grip of reality
Again the feeling of duality
Rushes over me
Where did I go?
And yet, I think I know...
Watching myself in another dimension
As this reality was in suspension
I broke through the tension
Of the physical realm
Traveling at the helm
Of my souls journey through
Another point of view
Of the different sides of me
Expressed in alternate realities
Strengthening the complete entity
Of my being
By seeing all of my potential
And it seems quintessential
To hold on to this essence
Of wholeness that I do not possess
In any single reality awake
So for the sake of my sanity
I need to consciously recall
The entirety of it all
And replay the subconscious streaming
Of experiences while I'm dreaming
Of myself in another world
as it starts to unfurl
My soul merges in complete unity
Of every possibility
Embodying who I aspire to be
In the pleasantry of rest
I will learn to become my best
Form of my True self today
Please, oh please just stay
But the memory starts to slip away
Leaving an empty hope and sorrow
I guess I'll try again tomorrow.

He asks me how I feel
As I'm struggling to decipher what is
And isn't real
Drowning within emotion
As I try to sever this subconscious
Devotion to an illusion
Confusion of delusion
Becoming lost along the way
The cost of worth I cannot pay
searching deep within
Determined to begin
Calling forth my sense of will
To self reflect until
I stop ignoring the signs
Reestablishing the lines
Of my self esteem
That I will redeem
Because it's mine!
As I straighten out my spine
I look up and say
I'm fine.
Even though it may not seem it
This time I really mean it.

I'm trapped in the web
Spun from dreamt up illusions
Victim to none other
Than my hopeless delusions
Lured in by the same temptations
Agony is unmet expectations
Like an insect entranced by the light
Trying to escape the depths of night
I was drawn in once again
Perhaps this time will be the end
Hope was a deadly misinterpretation
Lost amongst unspoken translation
And I knew this all along
As I traveled towards the sirens song
I can't break free although I try
you're a spider, and I'm a fly
It's your normal way to be
As chaos starts to strangle me
The pain I wish I could not feel
Consumed by fear, the struggle's real
It's almost over so I'll say goodbye
The dark creeps in and I'm ready to die
Just when I thought I was fading away
I realized it's just Valentine's Day.

In love with my skin
I shine from within
The truest wealth
Is loving thyself

It's not enough to merely tell me
I need your words to compel me
Each breath to leave me hanging on
To the cliff my heart rests upon
Ready to jump as soon as you fumble
Be cautious in your words that mumble
Along the edge of my mistrust
For I will leave if I must
At the first mention of a cage
Your chapter will end and I'll start a new page
For I'm a bird flying free
Gaze up at the sky and see
Me soaring up above
Without the confines of your love
Despite the devotion you professed
I will not be possessed
For the sake of your insecurities
Fear expressed through jealousies
Your use of lusting attraction
Only serves as a distraction
From yourself you seek to hide
Ignoring pain you feel inside
So take a look into the mirror
Until you see a little clearer
Don't ask me for my hand
Until you begin to understand
And perhaps you learn the lesson
Love is about appreciation
Not possession.

It seems these antihistamines
Are causing reoccurring dreams
For every time I go to bed
The same old scene is in my head
Like the one where all my teeth fall out
As I sit and pluck them out of my mouth
This one causes a lot of strife
For I've had this dream my entire life
So I searched for answers everywhere
And this is what they had to share
The native said it signifies
Remorse I feel from telling lies
Which I guess would be appropriate
I tend to say things I regret
So I went to see a medium
To trace back where this all begun
We tried to get mister Jung
But as the Latin rolled off her tongue
To our surprise
Before our eyes
Stood the spirit of Sigmund Freud
Claiming I need *** to fill the void
A conversation I'd rather avoid
Needless to say we ended the spell
I gave her my paycheck and bid farewell
And as I exited out to the street
I almost hung my head in defeat
But the natives words came back to me
Bringing a sudden epiphany
It occurred to me as I was walking
I really need to just stop talking.
Perhaps I'll be a silent monk
To help me get out of this funk
But that just sounds absurd
I can figure out how this problem incurred
I don't need to see a therapist
Or invoke a psychoanalyst  
I will just continue on my quest
Until I obtain some dreamless rest
I'm sure I can find the connection
By immersing in more self-reflection
So when I go to bed tonight
I'll study my dreams with all my might!!

Longing for something more profound
Stumbling around the same old ground
And mindless robots are all I've found
Is it too much to want to converse?
About atoms and molecules
Or the whole universe!
Everywhere that I turn
Here's what I see
Their only concern
Is what's on TV
Consumed by football
Hunting and cars
Meanwhile I'm here
Entranced by the stars
Perhaps I'm being a little dramatic
But please, come on please
Let's ponder cymatics!
Or quantum physics
Let's trace the specifics
While we chase some exquisite
New discoveries
Oh please, come on please!!
Stimulate my brain
Before I go insane
See?
I've already lost their attention
I'm so done with this dimension.

It never ceases to amaze me how enamored I am by the moon.
There's some sort of energetic mystical connection to my soul.
The way it  illuminates the darkness. It's mere poetic existence. It's breath taking.

It reminds me of who I am.
It whispers to me through the shadows.

As are the phases of life, the moon tells a similar story.

Unable to show the world her true potential. For even on the fullest of nights, when she's shining in all her magnificent glory, there still remains a darkness unseen. Unexplored. To that of which no man may ever see. The dark side that she keeps locked away.

She lets the sun dictate her beauty. She knows it's always there, but she won't shine without his light giving her courage to be seen.
And even then, with all his radiating love exposing her magnificence, she still conceals her darkness. It's her mystery. Always there hiding behind her entrancing allure.

Her mere existence makes waves. She can cloak herself in darkness yet the tide still pulls, longing to reach her. Desperate to get closer.

She's never whole for long. Her courage seems to dissipate soon after he leaves. Completeness is soon replaced with an empty sky. For in an ever changing universe there must always be highs and lows. Phases of life entrapped in a never ending cycle.

You may not always feel whole, but there's someone out there that still loves you when you're shrouded in darkness, that will seek you out when you're incomplete. For even a crescent is beautiful when you know what the shadows conceal.

21 days
They say for the end of withdrawals
And it's out of your system
But my mind didn't listen
Because it's still enthralled

21 days
In ways I wish you were a drug
To explain this craving
I surely need saving
From the hole that I've dug

21 days
In a haze searching for a cure
Your infection is spreading
Tears over my bedding
How much more can I endure?

21 days
Here I lay still thinking about you
I must confess
I'm still a mess
But I'm starting to pull through

21 days
It pays to find someone new
When I heard his voice
My new drug of choice
To get me over you.

As I lay awake listening to the howling winds against my window pane
For a moment I thought I heard it scream your name
So i opened the window and let it rush in
Only to be struck by the frigid pain
Reminding me to close it once again.