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Trapped in a future I never desired,
The heartaches and pain trap me high in my spire
Of grief. Relief is a state which I've never attained,
Through the years and the tears, my mind lies twisted and maimed.
Unbroken and eternal, this chain of my failures
Will adorn my body; no temple, a trailer.
i loved you.
i love you still.
 Aug 2014 The Quiet Poet
B D
Colorful and after rain
At once or twice
All in the sky

Not real
But full of feelings
She just wants to be a light trick
To bring happiness

She just wants to be a rainbow
Because he brings the rain
She just wants him to see her
In the sky
With her bright smile

She just wants to be one with clouds
She wants to be seen after rain
When flowers have the best smell
She wants to bring spring

Because he loves the rain.
I could never stop at just one tattoo
To signify you, if
I started,
Because each tribute could
Never come close to the greatest
Symbol:

My skin;

You're in the wrist without scar lines,
The arm without needle tracks,
The dent in my smile,
My mini half dimple and
Every laughter line I could never erase
Frankly, my dear,
You complete my face.

So any tribute;
Any Scorpion
Moth
Pokeball Rose
quote,
Or aptly chosen sloth,
Would never come close to the
Gaps in-between:

You're every drop of blood that has not spilled
You're the heartbeat I couldn't
Still, because your face
Was too hurt in my head.
You're in the fact that I'm not dead.

So, in a way, there's no point etching you into my skin , my derp,
Because, you're already, irrevocably,
There.
(You're even in my uncut hair)
Mixed emotions
Unclear notions
I'm in roller coaster mode
Do I hold on?
Or do I simply just let go?
Honestly, I don't know
I'm not 100% sure of who I am
I'm growing, still learning
And constantly yearning
For a deeper understanding
Of this womanhood business
It's a very complicated existence
For instance

Society describes what a woman should be
So faintly
All of the descriptions I hear are nothing at all like me
And since I don't quite understand what I should be
When I make mistakes on my womanhood journey
Society ridicules me
But why? I don't know what I'm doing
And since I don't, shouldn't someone show me?

How should I conduct myself?
Why hasn't anyone prepared me for this womanhood test?
Society shouldn't just expect
That I should already know how to be
Independent, submissive, loyal, loving and trustworthy
Especially if no one took the time out to show me
I only had society to mold me
And clearly
Society doesn't know what a real woman should be
I couldn't learn how from TV
Those people, those images are nothing but deceit

So what's a girl to believe?
Oh, society you don't know either?
Fine, well when you find out
Maybe you should teach me
 Aug 2014 The Quiet Poet
Sia Jane
Never did I want saving
I realised; as thousands of moons
Had passed, in many
A long night,
That my saving grace
Was always myself,
Cast amidst a
Million stars,
Stood my Universe,
Night as inevitable
As day,
Sunset, as sunrise.
I never walked alone.
Despite feelings of,
alone,
Lonely, wanting someone
To very simply, hold
Me.
Because despite this,
Warrior front,
Is the child in me;
Peter Pan,
Wishing on the
Brightest star in the
Sky.
So you see I never
Needed you to
Catch my fall.
I only wished
You'd allow us both
To accept how
Profoundly
We both fell.
Not into abyss,
But into the light
Of true life
& love.

© Sia Jane
From this perspective,
it's almost like I can see the future.
It's just one busy highway-
An infinite stretch of pavement.
It looks like my veins, and the traffic is your blood.

Side to side of me passes with a blur,
forests to hills, to forests on hills.
I spot the beach and smell that endless surf.
For just a moment, I leave the road
so I can touch the dirt.
Why do you hold on to me?
I'm such a mess,
Just set me free.
I won't be here forever so just set me free.

I'll be gone someday.
Just apart of the trees.
Maybe then you'll finally let me be.
Serenity is no longer considered peace.
 Aug 2014 The Quiet Poet
SMSVS
I try to feel
but when I do
I get hurt
so I try not to

But what if

What if one day
I find it
That one thing
We all think we have
because we all want it so bad

What if I find
true happiness.
Is it real?
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