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 Dec 2014 Unwanted
MysteryBear
I can't help but cry when a baby cries for her mom as though she could make things alright again. It reminds me of my mom when she cried for grandma in her sleep to take away the pain of her terminal illness but all I could do was watch.
Not as much a poem as a confession
you came out rosie
and turned to blue

shots to immunize...
shocked the health out of you..

sharp corner called
your toddlers tender lip

invincible, you flew  
shoulder met earth
half way round  
hard into the cold ground

meningitis settled in
lymes not far behind
both with fevers and
lots of tears...thought we
might lose you at 9

3 concussions within 2 years
being pulled off the hill
snow packed up to your ears
                      
daddy went to prison
anguish and pain
forced your decision
To become so thin

running through corn fields
dazed and confused..
up for 3 days, don't 'member
what'd been done to you

boyfriend deals..big guy in town
love him so much
you go down..
2 federal offenses..is he still around?

attempted ****** and ****
left you damaged beyond
all so overwhelming
you look for ways to drown
anything to block the pain
you twirl round and round and round

got pulled back from
the edge last night.
a needle in your arm
announced dead till
policeman felt you warm...

Oh My Darlin
Oh My Sweet
Such a Beautiful Soul trying to
Fly Free
I Call to Your Perfect Self..
Come Back
Please Come Back
Please Come Back to Me**


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels
All Rights Reserved.
Beyond the Beauty Life holds for us All
 Dec 2014 Unwanted
Riot
she's gonna die because of me
everyday i see it
in the broken vocabulary
that angers it's way out of her teeth

it's all my fault
nothing i ever said was right
i used to believe in happy endings
but happy just doesn't sit right
with me anymore

she tells me she's alright
but i never really was able to tell truth from lies
some times i wish i could close my eyes and take her place
because her lips
emotionally purple with my medicine

she's gonna overdose on words
she's gonna choke on all she's heard


her midnight thoughts are darker than the way my father looks at me to this day

she's gonna die if i speak up
and try to save the day

i won't do it
i won't do it
my sowed mouth will stay
i won't let her see the demon that dwells in me today
though every demon started as an angel
this angel isn't made of clay

my broken mask
my empty flask
my silence saves the day
so i'm not gonna finish a thought
unless it would make someone happy

**what i say could mean more than a gun to the head
and i won't let her die because of words that i said
As in the
verses of
Isaiah six,
to me came
a fiery
serpent
bearing
bliss. One
to us
known to
be in the
most high
order of
thy holy
angels;
and she
possesseth
many an
eye and
wilt one
day hath
humankind
beholding
her pent
wingtips,
and she shalt
cleanse thy
unclean lips
and purge
thy sinful souls
with live
burning coals
hereby.

God speaking
without
speaking
once told
to Isaiah,
"I wilt take
all but a
tenth of
their cities,
and the lands
wilt be burned
again and again
until the trees
shall cast their
leaves, and
thereof the
substance
shall be the
holy seed.

Thereafter, her
seraph wings
did thence
open up,
unfold, to
be thereby
a cause, a
love, a flame
to need.

Faith is not
a thing
made up,
and is
hardly
newfangled,
but I saieth
she therewith
displayed it
all; and 'twas
nothing short
of supreme
blessedness!

Then I beheld
her e'en
brighter,
with showy
spangle, and
her attire, a
pristeen
and
impressive
dress, that
was beaming,
lit, bright
with color,
and with
shapeliness
of contour.

Her shining
light like
refractory
gold or
peerless
bits of
silver;
and something
unknown did
glint within
her to
wholly then
bewilder.

Her fire sword
was sheathed
and I did
the most
forward enter.
With shy wing
shield so
still, she
can still
our
meanest
ire, for
all must
therein
endure
what we
feel for
each
and
one
another.

And none
therefore
can
trust
mental
anguish
to dull
in this,
our
loneliest
and darkest
hour.

Therewithal,
loyal
followers,
actions
shall
follow­
words,
ignite
if you
will
the
glowing
candles,
and play
upon your
lyre,
but not
upon
His
Word,
and
forevermore
you wilt
have
your needs
fulfilled
with
hearts
afire;
rest assured.

We shall
hear ye
but not
understand,
the great
forsaking
in the
midst of
the land,
and we
see but
do not
perceive!

Now hear
her pure
emotions
entire
thereat
swear to
inveigle
yet, our
lives so
chaotic,
so
disordered,
but we
can be
rekindled
by a
moving
fire of
an
unstained
object, and
sure enough
hypnotic;
and of a
fervor I
foretell
to be
higher
than all
other
seraphim
in the
ultimate
choristers
choir.

And she does
as e'er sing
the fairest
hymn to
Him, being
gentle and
the most
melodic.
She is a
being
disentangled,
henceforth
being the
nearest
being of
any angel
by far
to the
safety of
God's
hands.

She's an angel
that much
more the
nigher to
His protection
and His
guidance; and
free will I
suspect was
denied her
in all but
her affections...
and for that
reason it
wilt be she
that to me
God sends
again.

And to Him
I heard it
said, Holy,
holy, holy,
is the lord
of hosts:
the whole
earth is
full of
His glory!

And with that,
the Lord shook
again the
doorway
posts, and
the house
that filled
with smoke,
now is
before me
-such as is
our Saviour
surely upon
His throne.
 Dec 2014 Unwanted
MysteryBear
I could fall asleep on his shoulder but I wouldn't want to miss hearing him whisper sweet nothings into my ear. I could hold onto his hands forever but I fear our sweat will turn into oceans and drown him. I could hug him forever but I wouldn't want to break the very ribs that protect his heart from getting hurt.
I haven't kissed him yet for fear that I won't stop until our lips hurt
So many things to fear in this world but I only fear for *his safety
I falling too hard too fast for my boyfriend
 Dec 2014 Unwanted
Riot
ugly
 Dec 2014 Unwanted
Riot
ugly is a word that’s been overused
it means you’re happy without makeup and your high heels shoes
it means you don’t see in the mirror what they try to tell you
ugly is a weapon used in war
fat means your rib cage sorta hangs out
and you don’t eat much because your stomach’s full of doubt
and it’s hard to believe that you’re able to breathe
with the rope they have on you
 Nov 2014 Unwanted
Riot
Untitled
 Nov 2014 Unwanted
Riot
i live inside my own reflection
hold on tight
no sense of direction
perfect girl no tears no lesson
perfection is not perfection

cut open my heart
and promise not to look inside
you'll no longer feel you something to alive
 Nov 2014 Unwanted
Brittany
Why do I feel this way?
It's so unusual
I am actually
Truly
Happy


I know that this is a good thing
Why do I keep thinking
It will go away so quickly?
Maybe it's because I'm never happy for long.

Though this is a different kind of happy
This is the one where i actually feel as if
I'm going to be okay
 Nov 2014 Unwanted
Riot
butterfly
 Nov 2014 Unwanted
Riot
my life
is that of a butterfly
i flit and flutter
and don't ask why
today i live
tomorrow i die
a butterfly knows
where a butterfly lies

my wings
are that of a dragonfly
pair by pair
i zip on by
today i live
tomorrow i die
a droagonfly knows
when a dragonfly no longer flys

my heart
is that of a honey be
i work my stinger off
for someone elses needs
then something bigger
will one day take it away from me
a honey bee knows
but a honey bee doesn't see

my brain
is that of a fruitfly
nothing more to life
then being hopless
scraping bye
today i live
tomorrow i die
*a fruitfly doesn't have anything to hide
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