Sometimes-
I wish you would look behind my eyes,
And listen to me when I'm silent.
I wish you would pick through my thoughts-
And automatically know how I feel.
I wish you could see the view I have of the world-
That I cannot explain out loud.
God, I wish you could see what I think,
When I'm silent.

It's a strange thing,
Sadness.
How it comes and goes.
Happy one second
Staring out the window the next.
Listening to Coldplay
While the tear slides down my cheek.
So dramatic.
I know.
But it happens,
All the time,
When I ask myself,
Why do I allow myself to be happy,
When so much bad has happened?

You won't understand it
Until it happens to you.
The day when your stomach drops.
It's the day your eyes become a void.
You want to cry but you can't.
When everything becomes clear.
And it's okay
To hate the world.
To want to die.
To hate all the people you once loved.
It's okay.
You'll get through it.
I promise.
But I can also promise this.
You will never be the same again.

It's so beautiful
The flash of light
It's so horrible
The moments of darkness
And then it's over.

And that's all there is to life.

Constantly running a race
That involves everyone
Indescribable and painful obstacles
That we must overcome.
Hurrying as fast as possible
To get to an unknown destination;
Places we only hear about
Places we've never seen.
People have fallen behind me
Lost in this race,
And it's only a matter of time
Before I trip,
And get trampled by millions.

I am who I am
I live how I do.
Because the one moment in my life
That changed me.
There was a before and an after.

Before;
I was her.

After;
I have become this.

Before, you knew me.
But this is who I have become.
Try to understand.

Looking for a way.
To see the day
When everyone finds
The mask to your disguise
The day of your freedom-
The release of your demons.