There are blotches of red marks on my skin, my face,
bags under my eyes,
I get around 5 hours of sleep most nights
but every morning I still feel like I haven't slept in a century.
This is a different kind of pain.
This isn't a migraine, or a stomachache.
This is more than a stomachache.
This is waking up every morning to arms full of scars that are so ******* triggering,
A stomach screaming "feed me" but skipping breakfast and lunch
because I swear to ******* god, I've gained weight.
This is a different kind of pain.
This is my first poem in months which is why
it doesn't fit together perfectly
but since I penned all of my thoughts about
my eating disorder, my self harm, my mental illnesses and my boyfriend,
I didn't have anything to say,
I'd given my voice away by that point
and that caused a different kind of pain.
This is the first poem I've written in god knows how long. I figured I'd upload it. Sorry about how depressing it is.