There's a pit that I've been digging in my chest, trying to find my heart.
I've dug for years but I have finally dug to the bottom of my soul and I've found a festering sore or a heart
A heart that tried, a heart that hurts.
I've dug so much and so fast that I didn't realize I, myself, am the one who made me empty. It's getting hard to live with myself again, I'm empty, I'm lonely, and tired of the hurt from the festering heart I used call mine. I'm tired of dancing to a tune that everyone else hears differently.
I see more art in my sights at midnight, than at noon.
I feel more emotions running through my veins at midnight, than at noon.
I hear more music in your voice and more music outside at midnight, than at noon.
I taste more stale air and silent breaths at midnight, than noon.
I don't smell anything more at midnight, than noon.
I am more alive at midnight, than noon because I'm accepting of the fact that I'm alone in a cold cruel world that will never do me justice. I can control the feelings I have when I'm most delirious, I know who's awake and ignoring me, than who's awake and avoiding me. I am more at midnight, than noon because I'm in control of everything crazy once it rests for the night, I don't ever rest. There is no rest for the wicked.
The worst part
Of waking up throughout the night
And staying up at the 2A.M mark
Is that it's the loneliest place to reside
Everyone else is asleep living in a dream
And you're stuck with reality
Which is gutting you like a pig
Slitting your wrists
And ripping you limb from limb
It's truly the loneliest place on earth to be.
I still pray to a god I don't believe in and ask for him to save me. I cry late at night, and the water is rising. My eyes are sore from to prickling, my heart is sore from the wear. Each tear that leaves my eyes leaves a little bit more of a space to feel empty. I miss feeling whole and I only feel whole when you give me your attention but once you fall asleep, or once we part even temporarily, I feel the bottomless pit of despair. I guess you're a drug; you get me high as a kite and make me feel good and fun and then when the wind does down I fall until the next breeze picks me up. I feel so ******* empty. I've tried pills, alcohol, and smoke to fill the void, nothing sticks. I'm running away from the inevitable demise of myself.
*** is an itch I can't scratch
I feel the lust coursing through my veins
I feel my nerves cheer at the thought of being touched
I want to be dominated but I also want to dominate I want to roll around each other and experience the look on your face when I make you ***
I'm a strange ****** being I live only in the confines of moans of pleasure and the taste of your tongue against mine is something I've wanted for months
I want to push myself against you and move slowly without a purpose until you feel lust take over you and lay with me so we can feel each other up and feel.
I once dated a girl who liked to be choked when we had ***. Her adrenaline coursed through her veins as she choked on the air she desperately needed And she liked the ******* not because she needed it but because she knew she didn't need it. I fell in love with her and she ripped my hart from my weak chest and trapped It away in a box. I should have known from the start that she didn't need me, like I needed her.
The fact that you're alive brings a smile to my face. I've known you for two days and I feel more in love than I've ever felt in my entire life. You bring tears to my eyes when you talk to me, you're absolute heaven. I feel like your presence in my life is purging all the tears from my eyes pre-fall when I would've gotten morose. These tears tickle my cheeks and run down my jaw and they don't sting like they used to. I hope you stay in my life forever. I feel so intense about you and I am so bewildered that I've been dreaming about you for years